Ulterior Motives Are Not Always Sneaky

A student of mine recently posted a comment on my blog after having read an article. She noticed I used an example of a presupposition with the relationship in question being between a teacher and student and she suggested that maybe I was being sneaky using the example, as if my intention was to persuade her to continue to be my student.

I get this sort of question a lot. People find out I'm in the persuasion business and they assume I am attempting to persuade them and bend them to my will, no matter what the situation. I've had some internal struggles with this suspicion people have for many years. People feel they can't trust my sincerity because, 'After all, he's one of the top persuasion experts in the world. . . isn't it possible that he is trying to persuade me against my will?'

After all these years, I've gotten used to this sort of thing, though at first I'll admit it upset me. I realize that people will believe what they want to believe.

I am always genuinely myself. And I've done my best to stay un-jaded. My intention, at all time, is to operate with total integrity and honesty, and not to work with negative ulterior motives.

But what is the definition of an ulterior motive? Ulterior lies beyond what is apparent, beyond what is obvious and evident and avowed. This can be seen as negative, especially if the motive is concealed in order to deceive. Ulterior motives don't have to be sneaky.

I have no problem with ulterior motives that are supportive. Ulterior is behind the scenes. When I use my skills to help clients stay involved with me, especially because I know that I'm really giving them a valuable service, then I don't see any lack of integrity in that whatsoever.

To my student who is so suspicious, I say that I know the people I work with are gaining great insight and value whether I persuade them to work with me or not. I would suggest, you will find the same is true for you.

This is sort of humorous to me and I just thought I'd show a little bit of what goes on in my mind and how I deal with unique problems I deal with all the time.

When I was younger, I'd often find myself asking the people I was studying under if they were using persuasion on me. I wanted to see how they made decisions.

This doesn't mean that I am attempting to persuade my students actively, though my intention, obviously, is to keep them in my program.

My intention is to to help and help and help some more. As long as that is understood then I feel really fulfilled and I believe this is something you might want to look at in your own life because it will come up from time to time and it's helpful to have thought it through so that you know what your views are on the subject.