Two months ago I sent out an email asking for input on what you thought psychological maturity is, what helps it develop, and what can hinder its development. I got many excellent and insightful comments-kudos to all of you who took the time to share your thoughts with me and with all the friends of the therapy triangle.
I should note that not every writer was in favor of maturity. One man said that he didn't know much about maturity because he has followed "the Peter Pan philosophy" of never growing up. Though this works in the movies, not sure it is practical in real live. He did say that he might want to read the book when I get done!
More seriously, here's a sampling of some of the thoughts about what a mature person is like:
· "Self-aware but not self-absorbed"
· "Patient with others, yet able to be assertive"
· "Balanced between dependence and independence"
· "Sees herself and others as imperfect but of great worth"
· "Having a clear purpose in life"
· "Has respect, compassion, empathy, and honesty with self and others"
· "Knows his strengths and uses those to serve others"
· "When in conflict with another, deals directly with that person rather than complaining to a third person." (The essence of avoiding rigid triangles!)
And what is it that develops maturity in a person? Almost everyone said that "pain and suffering" was helpful if it was dealt with well. Overcoming obstacles in life is seen as a very important factor in developing maturity. One woman said that "having children" can promote maturity-which may be the same as "overcoming obstacles!" A number of people said that there is some correlation with age-people tend to get more mature as they get older--but "there are many elderly children and some wise young people."
What hinders the development of maturity? Here's an interesting thought: while pain and suffering, if dealt with well, promotes maturity, too much pain and suffering over too long a period of time stunts people's growth. People get stuck in unhealthy relationships and behavioral habits and they "cling blindly to outmoded traditions." One writer said that it is hard to develop and maintain maturity in "repressive, discriminatory, and violent societies." I would add "repressive, discriminatory and violent" families, businesses, and other organizations.
And who are some mature people? Not many writers chose a mature individual to describe. One chose Eckhart Tolle, the author of The New Earth and The Power of Now. Another nominated a co-worker who is a great communicator and "always stays true to herself."
The grand prize winner for the most insightful comments has been notified and the check is in the mail!
Thanks so much for all your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime with further thoughts about maturity. As I said in the first email in this series, we need more maturity in our families, our workplaces, and our politics. Stay tuned!
Dr. Rob Burkham
rob@therapytriangle.com
Dr. Robert Burkham is a clinical psychologist with 25 years of experience doing psychotherapy and 20 years of experience supervising other therapists. He has been licensed as a psychologist in the state of Wisconsin since 1982 (License #991) and has practiced in Appleton, Wisconsin for 20 years. He is a member of both the American Psychological Association and the Wisconsin Psychological Association. http://www.therapytriangle.com
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A
Meditations and Its Benefits
By: A. Majid | 08/11/2009Research after research has shown that meditation is good for the body and soul. A recent study done in China found that only after five days of meditation, the experimental group showed better tolerance to stress compared with the control group. The experimental group also showed less anger, anxiety, fatigue...
Building Self Esteem in 5 Simple Self Help Steps
By: Gregory Frost | 08/11/2009The main thing to remember when you are trying to build self-esteem is to love yourself. Now, you may seem sceptical about it, and you might even think, "Yeah, easier said than done." Yes, it is indeed difficult to do when the only thing that seems to be going through...
3 Unbeatable Tips For Improving Self Esteem Quickly and Effectively
By: Gregory Frost | 08/11/2009Self esteem plays an important part in a person's life. A positive level of self esteem enables a person to do practically anything they set out for themselves. It is also imperative in order for a person to live their lives to the fullest. People with high self esteem tend...
Think Right Now Will Help You Create A Better Life
By: Daniel Smithfield | 07/11/2009There are numerous different steps that are critical to succeed by creating a positive change in your life. Our 'present' is generally powered by one of 2 things. This is, we either hang on to the past in a relentless manner, or we look ahead to our future. While it's good to look to the past, as well as to the future, we should make every effort to do so in a positive and constructive manner. Reflection and expectation are only successful for us when we are : 'Taking the know...
Emotional Intelligence - A Powerful Persuasion Tool
By: Ryhen Satch | 07/11/2009Emotional intelligence, as few people know, is one of the main factors that can lead you to success. By learning how to control other people’s emotions, as well as your own, you have a higher chance of accomplishing your objectives. This is more effective than merely relying on logical thinking.
How to Increase Dream Recall: Boosting Dream Recall Will Aid Your Creativity
By: Craig Webb | 07/11/2009Dreams are storehouses of creative inspiration to help you create new artistic works, solve problems at work and in your relationships, heal emotional wounds and even physical illnesses, learn new skills, and find greater spiritual fulfillment and all the while allow you to explore and have fun during the third...
Become The Best You Can Be (3)
By: nyangu simpungwe | 07/11/2009In everything in life, there are levels towards an ultimate purpose. In everything in life, anything that is big was once small. In everything in life, there is a beginning, life is full of beginnings, and they are presented every day and every hour to every person. Most beginnings are small, and appear trivial and insignificant, but in reality they are the most important things in life.
Become The Best You Can Be (3)
By: nyangu simpungwe | 07/11/2009In everything in life, there are levels towards an ultimate purpose. In everything in life, anything that is big was once small. In everything in life, there is a beginning, life is full of beginnings, and they are presented every day and every hour to every person. Most beginnings are small, and appear trivial and insignificant, but in reality they are the most important things in life.
Euthymophobia - Making Peace With Happiness
By: Robert Burkham, Ph.D. | 28/02/2009 | Self HelpWhy would anyone actively prevent their own happiness? Why would anyone arrange their life to ensure that they would not enjoy their life? Why do people prevent their own growth towards maturity and contentment? It's because many people have a fear which they don't know they have: "euthymophobia", the fear of happiness. We have...