When was the last time you questioned your beliefs?

When was the last time you questioned your beliefs? Really questioned them? That is, took a practical, realistic, uncomfortable, honest and un-emotional look at some of the beliefs that “run” your life. You do know that some of your current beliefs suck right? That’s no major revelation is it?

When we consider that most of our decisions and behaviours are a reflection of our beliefs, it’s never a bad idea to put those beliefs under the microscope and see if they hold up to a little scrutiny. To see if they serve us or sabotage us. Help us or hinder us. So what are your core beliefs and where did they come from? Did you choose them consciously? Did they choose you? Did you simply adopt them from someone else? What are they based on? Do they empower you or hold you back?

Sometimes the only thing that stands between us and success (whatever that means for us personally) is (a) our inability to challenge (question, examine, discuss) our existing beliefs and (b) our inability to unlearn certain things. No, not learn… unlearn. Some of us have spent decades clinging desperately to beliefs that are either (1) destructive and dangerous (2) unconsciously and unintentionally adopted from someone else (3) under-pinned by fear and/or social programming and/or (4) simply not true.

Here are some examples of each..

1. Destructive and Dangerous. “I can’t have a good time socially unless I drink and/or do drugs.”

2. Adopted from someone else. “I would never buy a Holden; they’re rubbish” (spoken by the fifteen year old son of a life-long Ford driver).

3. Under-pinned by fear and social programming. “The only way to get to heaven is to (insert belief) and if I was ever to (insert second belief), I would go to hell.”

4. Simply not true. “Nobody could ever love me, I’m not worth it.”

The Terrifying Truth

Some of us have believed certain things for so long that even the thought of our “truth” being false is terrifying for us. When you’ve believed something for decades, you have a significant emotional investment in that belief. It’s all you “know” and on some level, you’re comfortable with it. The last thing you want to do is discover that some of your long-held beliefs are the very things that stop you from learning, growing and maybe even finding your way to happiness. For some people that prospect is simply too uncomfortable to consider, so their typical reaction is to become defensive, angry, irrational, accusational or evangelical about their own very familiar and comfortable beliefs. What they won’t be, is open-minded. Willing to learn something new. To unlearn something old. To consider another truth. Or to question their own self-limiting beliefs. And this very common reaction is a manifestation of fear. And no, I’m not suggesting a “daily changing of beliefs” (of course), but what I am suggesting is that when we are incapable of even “considering” another perspective, we have a problem. Most of us love certainty and predictability and when we suddenly discover what we “knew” to be true is in fact false – or at the very least flawed – we can feel incredibly vulnerable, lost and confused. Betrayed even. And for a person who gets their “sense of self” from their beliefs (most of us), this can be traumatic and unsettling. Welcome to life.

Head-in-the-sand-itis

How many people ”pretend” that their partner is not having an affair (when they obviously are) because the consequences of that truth (psychological, emotional, practical, sociological, financial) are simply too much for them to deal with (or so they believe)? So they tell themselves a “more comfortable story”; one that becomes their truth. “Oh, yes he/she is has a big work project on, so the work hours are long at the moment…”

My Last Five Years

The last five years have seen me question almost everything I’ve ever believed. About everything. From effective weight-loss strategies, to the mind-body connection, to healing, to the meaning of life, the existence of God, relationships, consciousness and enlightenment, the role of money in my life, personal power, my potential, humility, love, gratitude and a whole lot more. And not for the sake of being some overly-deep, philosophical weirdo, but so that I might find my own truth and live a life of alignment (beliefs, values and behaviour). And so that I might step away from the influences, the programming, the self-created fear, the weight-of-expectation, the collective mindset and begin to think clearly for myself. For far too long I simply believed what I was told, rather than believe what I had learned to be true. And for far too long I respected other’s opinion and ideas more than my own. In some ways I allowed their reality and truth, to become mine. These days I will listen to, respect and consider almost anyone, but I will think, choose and believe for myself. Without regret or explanation. I can honestly say that I have learned and changed more in the last five years than I did in the first forty. Mainly because I began to ask the right questions, to listen to my inner intelligence (the one we all have) and to challenge my comfortable and familiar beliefs.

I hope you will do the same.