Why am I so Angry?

When I woke up this morning, I could feel anger in my chest.  I was not sure why I was angry, I was just angry.  There was a time, several years ago that I would do this on a consistent basis.  Most of the time, I would have no idea why I was so mad.  I would lie there for several minutes, adding to the issue by going over all the unpleasant memories in my mind.  I started off with the realization that it was 5:00 AM and I had to go to a job that I really do not like, work with people who did not really like, and live a life that I did not really like.  Those thoughts continued for most of the day.  They would stop when something like work had to occupy my mind.  God forbid that someone would pull out in front of me.  Every word in the book would fly out of my mouth with a false understanding that the person could hear and understand my resentment toward that person.  I would then take that experience and put it into a little box in my mind, where I would open it and share it with several people during the day.

So where do I go wrong?  Most people would say that I woke up that morning, as if waking up had something to do with it.  When we fall asleep  at night, several things happen.  Breathing continues to happen.  Our blood continues to flow and our minds continue to think.  All of these things happen automatically.  It is impossible for us to control these functions while we are sleeping.  However, we can control all three while we are awake.  If we concentrate, we can slow breathing and blood flow down to almost an incapacitated state.  Most of us can do this fairly easy.  But what about thinking?  Why do we find it so hard to control our thinking?  Most people go through their lives on autopilot. Their minds takeover and basically run their lives.  They allow the negative events and information to flood their mind.  At night, their dreams twist a concoction of imaginary thoughts and feelings into a reality.  They wake up angry and confused about who and what they are as a person.

I had a friend once tell me that the bad stuff is always easier to believe.  I am inclined to say, that most people believe this.  I disagree.  I think that the good stuff is much easier to believe.  It is so easy for us to take a thought or a feeling and make it a part of our lives.  When children are told that they will not amount to anything over and over, it does not take a long time for them to believe it is so.  We as adults are bombarded by negativity.  It is all around us.  It seems like any where we go the negativity follows us.  We allow that to permeate our thoughts and feelings. Since we are what we think, we are negative.

So, back to my question.  Where did I go wrong?  I have to say, waking up this morning, was the most positive thing that could have happened to me.  Some did not have that luxury.  Some of us could not even get out of bed because of some illness or debilitation.  Some did not have legs to walk to the bathroom.  Some of us could not look in the mirror and see themselves brushing their hair.  Some of you are reading this, and I know what you’re thinking.  He’s going to throw this positive junk in my face.  How sad.  I do have to say congratulations to you.  You have successfully allowed the negativity to permeate your life.  I refuse to allow that to happen to me.

So here is what I did the minute I woke up.  I immediately started my daily routine.  The first thing I do is try to clear my mind and do some deep heavy breathing.  This creates a large amount of oxygen running through your blood to your brain.  I highly suggest reading up on the lymphatic system and deep breathing. When I have cleared my mind, I start to go over all the good things that I have in my life.  I do not let anything out.  It gives me an extreme sense of thankfulness.  I can then see how lucky and blessed I truly am.  I have to admit, when I first started this, I had a hard time believing it, but I kept trying.  I very rarely watch TV or listen to the radio.  When I come in contact with negative people, I walk the other way.  I try to avoid any type of negative contact.  This sometimes is easier said than done.  I know you’ve heard the saying,”You are what you eat”.  I believe you are also what you think.  Feed your mind with positive, good information and that’s what will come out.  The reverse is true.  I am sure that people look at me as if I’m weird.  They think that it is not normal to be this happy.  If being negative is normal, I don’t want to be normal.