There’s an old Japanese proverb that counsels: “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” But how do you get back up when you’ve fallen flat on your face? Below you’ll find 5 tips to help you gather the pieces and pull yourself back together after you’ve failed.
1. Always expect success. However, you need to get rid of the notion of the “overnight success” or the “get-rich-quick-scheme”. People who appear to be overnight successes have actually spent a lot of time before-hand honing their skill. Success requires a lot of preparation and a prolonged effort. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who feel like failures when something doesn’t work immediately and they just give up. If you don’t succeed right away this doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. Recognize that setbacks are simply part of the process, and that hard work and perseverance are two of the most important ingredients of success. If you’ve failed in the short run it simply means you need to take a longer term view of success.
2. Do not identify yourself with your failures. You are not your actions. To say that you have failed many times is not the same thing as saying that you are a failure. Whatever happens, keep referring to yourself, in your conversations with others and in your self-talk, as someone who has the full capacity to succeed.
3. Create a “fame wall”. Hang your diplomas or certificates on this wall. You can also add framed photographs of yourself with your friends and family having fun or sharing a close moment. Anything that gives you a sense of accomplishment can go up on the wall. In times of failure, refer to your wall. It will serve to remind you that you have succeeded in the past and that you will succeed again in the future
4. Collect stories of failure about people who have gone on to become successful so that you can use them as inspiration when you’re down. For example, consider the following life story.
This person:
At age 22 - Failed in business;
At age 23 – Was defeated for the State Legislature:
At age 24 - Again failed in business;
At age 25 – Was elected to the State Legislature;
At age 26 - His sweetheart died;
At age 27 – He suffered a nervous breakdown;
At age 29 – Was defeated for speaker;
At age 31 – Was defeated for elector;
At age 34 – Was defeated for Congress;
At age 37 – Was elected to Congress;
At age 39 – Was defeated for Congress;
At age 46 – Was defeated for the Senate;
At age 47 – Was defeated for Vice-President;
At age 49 – Was defeated for the Senate;
At age 51 – Was elected President of the United States.
This person was Abraham Lincoln.
5. Keep things in perspective; do not over-generalize. The fact that you’ve failed at something does not mean that your life is over. It does not mean that your reputation is forever ruined and that you’ll never get another chance. Don’t make the situation bigger or more pervasive than it really is. Instead, remember the famous line:
“And this too shall pass . . .”
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