Alternatives to failure

Most people seem to think that the alternative to success is failure. They also seem to think that the alternative to failure is success. It's not; in both case, it's mediocrity. For some reason, the majority of people in the West prefer the choice of not being poor, but not being rich either. They want to be in the middle. It's no coincidence that a recent poll found that the vast mass of men and women in Britain liked to describe themselves as 'Middle Class'. These days there's few people at the bottom. There's also few people at the top, the real top. Most of the population has decided to drift around the middle, maybe thinking that there's safety in being in the crowd.

This is a valuable lesson. It means that if you're one of those people who buys into 'Self Improvement', investing in books, tapes and courses, you need to realise that if you start heading upward, it's very unlikely that you will make it to the top. On the contrary, you'll reach Middle Class, or even Upper Middle Class, and realise you're happy being there. You'll stop, and revel in the company you find. That will be far enough, you'll say to yourself, and rest, content. After all, most people have, already.

How do you get there? The formula for that is the same as ever. The quickest way is self-talk. Make a promise to yourself that you'll start on a 21-day programme. You'll begin a new habit, and follow it for at least 21 days. Then, set aside five minutes at the beginning and end of each day, perhaps when you're in bed. Relax completely and start talking to yourself; say exactly what you want. There's two things to remember: one, be precise, but not repetitive. There's no benefit in saying, 'I want to be rich' over and over. Talk about how much income you need; how much savings; what size of house; what holidays you go on; what type of car. Also, follow the other 3 'P's', (apart from Precise): be Positive; Personal; and Present Tense. Say, 'I am rich', as though it was already happening. Say, 'I am rich', not 'My family is well off', or something vague. Make it all about you. Finally, say only things that you want, not what you don't want. Say, 'I'm healthy, with no addictions', not 'I've given up smoking and drinking'. The four 'P's' are all you need, on the positive side.

Unfortunately, most people forget that there's also a negative side. People are more complicated than we like to pretend. You say, 'I want to be rich', but inside you there may be a little voice saying, 'That's dangerous, someone may steal all my money'. Or, 'You don't deserve that, you phoney'. It may not be as precise as that, and sometimes all we feel is a little unease. Deal with it: bring it to the surface. You feel uncomfortable about something you've just said? What was it? Was it, 'I want to be rich'? Is that a contradiction of something you heard, or something you've been told? Maybe your parents told you you'd always be a failure, or someone you respect once said something like, 'You can't be rich and happy'. You need to tackle this negative thinking. Don't just try and bury it, or hope it will go away. Bring it into your consciousness and discuss it with yourself; hopefully, you'll find that all your Self Doubt and fears are worrying, but illogical and baseless. Question those assumptions and sayings from the past and you'll disarm them. In time, maybe within the 21 days, they'll lost their power, as the positive stuff you're feeding in to your subconscious gets stronger.

That's one thing that's easy to forget. Many people do the right thing, and start on the 21 day programme because they want real change in their lives, but when they start having doubts and feel the fears rising, they either stop straight away, or realise they don't know how to cope with negative feelings, and give up then. The best way to deal with bad childhood experiences and negative parental input, is the same way you deal with any emotional trauma, follow the Callaghan method, or 'tapping' as it's sometimes known. Gently tap with the fingers on an acupressure point like the cheekbone or under the armpit, and the bad feelings evaporate. Find a book by Roger Callaghan and read more.

But here's a new thought: be honest with yourself. Maybe 'I want to be rich' was something instilled in you by pushy parents. Maybe you don't believe such 'positive' stuff either. After all, if the majority of your fellow countrymen only want to be 'Middle', why would you argue? I feel that explains a lot: I'm used to meeting people who say, 'I want to be rich', but then when you challenge them to meet (or do any work) they come back with, 'Wednesday? I meet the boys on Wednesday night', and other excuses. Maybe, I've been thinking, they don't want those heights bad enough. No, maybe they don't - just like the other millions, who only want to be middle-class and comfortable. It's like setting the thermostat in your house to the middle, isn't it? You don't want to be too low, whether that's too cold or too poor, but you don't want to set it too high either, whether that's piping hot, or rich. But, of course, there's nothing wrong with that, either. Self-talk will get you all the things you want, and as much of them as you can handle. If it's actually not a lot, well, fine: be honest with yourself and admit that your ambitions are pretty low. Self Improvement should be about getting what we want, and if it's a small amount, great. The rest of the world will thank us for our frugality.