Do You Have Trust Issues - in Love?

Copyright (c) 2008 Elizabeth Davis

Alas, since my scanner died an unexpected death during our last season of Mercury Retrograde (which lasted July 5th through the 29th!) and I am still awaiting the arrival of the new machine, I am going to use words to paint the pictures of your palms and what you'll need to observe today in order to determine whether or not you have trust issues in your love relationships. If you do, we'll explore what you can DO to create more intimacy in your life.

Okay. Go ahead and put your palms out in front of you. Now look at your pinky fingers. I invite you to answer the following questions on a piece of paper so you can easily refer to them as we go along. You might want to divide the paper in half with a one column for your right-hand pinky and one column for your left-hand pinky. (Your dominant hand reveals how you relate to others, your non-dominant hand reveals your relationship with yourself.)

* Are your pinkies straight or curved? (One might be curved, the other straight.)

* If a pinky is curved, where is it curved? For example, is the whole finger bowed like a half-moon or is it only the tip? If it's only the tip, does it curve toward your thumb or away from your thumb?

* Is the finger more crooked than curved?

* Now, look at all of your fingers. Imagine that the top of your palm is a mountain top and the fingers emerging are the trees. Where does your pinky finger sit in relationship to the other fingers - is it about equal with your ring finger on the mountain top or does it sit lower?

Before I answer the above questions, I want to give you a little back-story on your pinky finger. It's palmistry name is the "Mercury" finger, named after Mercury, the Messenger God. Therefore, your Mercury finger and the whole area directly beneath it on your palm, have to do with communication -the primary energy that Mercury represents.

The tip of your Mercury (pinky) finger represents abstract communication such as storytelling and brainstorming, the middle zone represents negotiating (using your words to effect change in your material affairs) and the bottom zone represents physical communication or s*ex. Moving into your palm, the area directly below Mercury has to do with healing and intimate communication, the area below that relates to communicating in your mind - the realm of Eureka moments and hot ideas, and the lowest area, near your wrist, has to do with communicating with nature and your instinct - the "shaman" zone.

The Mercury finger itself gives us a quick "read" on what's happening in your intimate life. Let's go back to the questions above and take a look at what your answers reveal.

* Are your pinkies straight or curved? (One might be curved, the other straight.)

A straight Mercury usually indicates that you are a "straight shooter" in your communication. You say it like you see it. If the finger is curved, it usually indicates some breakdown in your ability to communicate effectively and trust yourself and others. It is often the result of an emotionally distant or unstable relationship with your mother and/or father in childhood.

* If a pinky is curved, where is it curved? For example, is the whole finger bowed like a half-moon or is it only the tip? If it's only the tip, does it curve toward your thumb or away from your thumb?

If the whole finger is bowed like a half-moon, this can represent suspicion toward men or women, depending on your sexual preference. For example, I met a man with a bowed Mercury finger and it turned out that his ex-wife had put him through the mill emotionally and financially and thus, he was very hesitant to trust a woman again. He was "suspicious" of a woman's intentions - any woman's intentions. This generalized suspicion towards all women impaired his ability to TRUST his own instincts about a specific woman he might meet. Impairments with the Mercury finger invariably reveal some degree of TRUST issues in intimate relationships. With suspicion, it's important to ask lots of questions of the other person, find out their agenda and even do some background research to reinforce what your instincts are telling you about the person.

* If only the tip of the Mercury finger leans toward the thumb, this can indicate intense trust issues that show up as "control issues." My mother and I shared this marker, but since learning what it means and working on my control issues - my finger has straightened. (YES! Fingers can change!) What usually causes this marker is a severe loss in childhood. My mother lost her sister (and best friend) when she was hit and killed by a car at age seven. I 'lost' my father, from an emotional standpoint, at age 14 when my parents got divorced. This kind of loss can cause you to feel as if the rug has been yanked out from under you and nothing will ever be safe again. The need to control outer events and circumstances is a reaction to this loss.

When I say "control issues," I mean trying to control your self, your environment, other people and certain outcomes. It is fruitless and exhausting. What I learned, and what allowed my finger to straighten, was to speak my truth, name my desires, focus mentally, emotionally and visually on my goals and then to GET OUT OF THE WAY! In other words, to surrender to the process and let it unfold in its own way. The "process" of life revealed what I needed, every time, in order to learn to trust, rather than control. (An individual with a curved tip on the Mercury finger can also be especially tenacious in trying to get what they want. Since they feel their own efforts may go unnoticed, they may need to rally others to their cause or goal in order to move forward. If the other people involved don't want to go along, it can create a power struggle for control of epic proportions.)

If the tip of Mercury bends AWAY from the thumb, this can indicate that you are prone to hyperbole and exaggeration. You might get so carried away with a story that you leave out the facts in favor of effect. In some instances, this is appropriate, in others, it might be construed as lying. Your challenge is to ask yourself, "Is exaggeration appropriate here (such as doing stand-up comedy or attending a roast) or am I better off sticking to the facts?" In extreme cases, this configuration could indicate pathological dishonesty or a propensity for gossip. (And gossip is one of the most toxic interpersonal behaviors I know of. Its opposite is confidentiality.)

* Is the finger more crooked than curved?

A crooked Mercury finger, rather than one than gently curves, can indicate shrewdness in business as well as the other challenge indicators mentioned above: control issues, exaggeration, or outright chicanery.

* Now, look at all of your fingers. Imagine that the top of your palm is a mountain top and the fingers emerging are the trees. Where does your pinky finger sit in relationship to the other fingers - is it about equal with your ring finger on the mountain top or does it sit lower?

If the Mercury finger sits a quarter inch or more below your ring finger from the upper edge of your palm, this can indicate that you are not getting enough closeness and affection and that you probably want MORE. Your knee-jerk reflex with this indicator will likely be to retreat into solitude and loneliness. The antidote, of course, is to get out there and be social! Let your friends know you're looking to date. You may even need some non-se*xual touch if you're not in a romantic relationship so your body gets its "touch quotient" met.

As you can see, just one finger can reveal so much about your ability to trust and communicate. The key thing to remember is this: You will only mistrust others to the degree that you mistrust yourself. When you trust yourself, you'll walk the other way if danger is approaching and move forward if it feels right. If someone betrays us, it's because we misplaced our trust and betrayed our instincts. It's very difficult to be swindled, cheated or betrayed if you listen to and communicate your inner wisdom. That where all trust begins - inside of YOU.