Laurie Wilhelm manages the Express Yourself to Success website, a one-stop e-source with information and techniques on interpersonal and social skills, public speaking, networking and conflict resolution. Achieve your success by working effectively with others. Find out how you can boost your career and get a free white paper, What Everyone Needs to Know About Social Skills, by going to www.expressyourselftosuccess.com.
The thing with social skills is that just having a couple won't make you succeed socially. It's a collection of skills, ranging from being able to introduce yourself and knowing what to say after "hello," to non-verbal communication to giving feedback and a whole bunch of other skills in between. We find ourselves in many different situations everyday where we need a combination and variety of skills to make us socially well-rounded.
Will good social skills make you the most popular person at work or at school? Probably not, but they will help you make friends easier and be more comfortable in group settings. They'll also help you build your self-confidence so that you're more willing and less stressed to go out to be with and meet other people.
Like any skill, social skills have to be learned. We may start off knowing several of the "biggies," like saying please and thank you, but there are also many more subtle yet valuable skills that take some conscious awareness to recognize and rehearse. Over time and with practice, social skills become more natural. The length of time it takes to be socially proficient depends on you and how much you're willing to think about what to do and how to act in social situations and how often you put yourself in places where you're meeting people and building relationships.
But just going out and being around people doesn't make you socially skilled. It means that you go out a lot. It means that you're not at home by yourself. It means that you've gone to the company picnic every year. It doesn't mean, necessarily, that you have the skills to interact well with those around you. Having good social skills requires action and one that doesn't always improve as your social attendance increases.
At the end of the day, if you're establishing and building various types of relationships, contributing to them, maintaining and growing them, then you've got social skills. If you're not and your relationships are non-existent to poor, you can learn social skills and get to the point where you're not just with people, but have relationships with them. It may take a bit time, but it's doable. Just don't assume that if you know a couple social skills that you'll take a flying leap to the top of the social ladder. Learn a range of skills, practice them, use them and you'll be fine.
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A
- How Many Social Skills Will Make You Successful?
- Help Kids Make Friends - What Can Parents Do to Guide the Social Development of Children?
- 6 Fast Ways for Improving Social Skill
- The 3 Advantages of Social Skills Development
- Learning Social Skills in 8 Simple Steps
- Social Skills Building, Aspergers Syndrome
- How Social Skills Training Can Change Your Life
- Five Tips to Help You Improve Your Social Skills
Why Most Diets Work At First And Then Fail
By: Len Hutchyson | 29/11/2009When it comes to starting a new diet most people manage to lose weight for the first few weeks. They rapidly shed some pounds and think they've finally found their ultimate diet. Unfortunately as so many looking to lose weight have found out this is generally a temporary thing.
Anger Management - 7 Tips to Controlling Anger
By: Mark Foo | 29/11/2009In order to master anger management, you need to gain control over your emotions. You'll need to get into a mindset that allows you to think before you act or speak. If you don't learn to control your anger, you may destroy the relationships around you and cause physical and emotional harm to everyone, including yourself. About Anger Anger serves an important purpose. Anger is an emotion that tells us that something is wrong. It may even help us to get out of dangerous situations.
Re-Evaluating Your Ambitions for the Sake of World peace
By: Reena Gagneja | 29/11/2009Article about assessing one's personal ambitions and asking what the motive is behind these, and if the motive should be amended, for the sake of world peace.
The Psychological Benefits of Relentless Action
By: John Vespasian | 29/11/2009Relentless action, in addition to producing practical gains, enhances your psychological well-being. The souls of those who live by action also grow daily in wisdom.
How to Become a Poet (or Whatever You Want to Become)
By: John Vespasian | 29/11/2009If you wish to become a poet, I can give you some clues, but please take your heart medication before you read this through, since it contains some strong truths. First, you have to realize that nobody cares about what you want to be, so don't go around complaining that you are misunderstood. Second, you should just start writing poetry and do not ask anyone for permission. Third, you have to develop a thick skin.
Who Are You? Misguided Blockhead or Masterful Wizard?
By: Valery Satterwhite | 29/11/2009Some say that a person is a product of his or her choices. Who you are can be rooted in a circular cause and consequence pattern of experience. If you don't like who you are or what you're getting you may be a misguided blockhead. This article will teach you how to become a masterful Wizard.
Should You Sign Anything After an Accident?
By: Jim Brown | 29/11/2009It is hard to know what to do immediately after an accident in Missouri and Illinois. There are several mistakes that can be made after an accident that can ruin your chance of getting fair compensation to pay your medical bills and replace your lost wages. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is signing the release from your insurance adjuster.
How to Transform and Heal Your Fear
By: Marilyn Gordon | 29/11/2009If you're a person who has no fear at all, you're very rare and supremely blessed. Most people and other animals have endless fears of all kinds. Did you know that you can reduce the severity of your fear, and in some cases you can transform it completely? Let's take a look at some of the different kinds of fears and some powerful ways to come out of the fearful world and into the world of courage and strength.
How to Get People at Your Table Talking
By: Laurie Wilhelm | 09/10/2008 | CommunicationHave you ever gone to a workshop or event where the attendees were all sitting tables of about six or eight and where no one was talking to one another? There's that awkward silence before the session begins and no one knows what to say. If you find yourself in such a situation, here are some suggestions that may help you to get everyone at the table talking and bring them together.
How Many Social Skills Will Make You Successful?
By: Laurie Wilhelm | 04/08/2008 | Self ImprovementThe thing with social skills is that just having a couple won't make you succeed socially. We find ourselves in many different situations everyday where we need a combination and variety of skills to make us socially well-rounded. There are many subtle yet valuable skills that take some conscious awareness to recognize and rehearse.
How Can You Improve Your Social Skills?
By: Laurie Wilhelm | 29/07/2008 | Self ImprovementOne common suggestion that is recommended for improving social skills is to practice. Practice meeting other people, going to social events, joining clubs, taking classes or practice being with different people in various situations. But practice what? Going to social events are the places to practice. Knowing how to interact while you're there is what to practice.
The Art of Poor Listening
By: Laurie Wilhelm | 23/07/2008 | Self ImprovementPoor listening is an art. Fortunately, it's a talent that's easy to master. It takes little effort and if you're really good at it, you'll be able to quickly tune out the speaker or, better yet, get him to stop talking so that you can start. Here are five key ways to be an exemplary bad listener.
One Step to Making Small Talk
By: Laurie Wilhelm | 11/06/2008 | CommunicationJust the thought of small talk congers up painful memories of stilted conversations that revolved around the weather and umpteen other dreadfully boring topics. Fortunately, the key to making good small talk is simple: be interested in other people. Here are a few small-talk tips to get the conversation going.
Four Common Myths About Social Skills
By: Laurie Wilhelm | 11/06/2008 | Self ImprovementMany people misunderstand what social skills are - and what they're not. Here's a quick look at a few common myths and some information on what social skills really are.
Five Tips to Help You Improve Your Social Skills
By: Laurie Wilhelm | 10/06/2008 | Self ImprovementThe expression "the total is greater than the sum of its parts" resonates loudly with respect to social skills. Knowing what to say and how to act are basic social skills that anyone can learn. Techniques and methods are available to develop all social skills. Here are five tips on how to learn and integrate social skills into your daily life.