How to Conquer Fear

Fear keeps our lives small. You only grow by conquering your fear. If you had only a year to live, would you change anything? Would you keep working at the same job? Spend time with the same people? Are there places you've always dreamed of seeing you would visit?

Why aren't you doing or planning for those things now? No one knows how long they have to live. We go through life as if we have forever, putting off the things we dream about until the magical time of retirement. I don't know about you, but I want to visit places while I'm still young and strong enough to experience them fully.

Why don't you take that dream trip now? Why waste one second of your life with people who bring you down, who don't see how much you have to offer? Fear is what stops us from fulfilling our dreams. Are you afraid you won't have enough money?

Are you afraid you won't make any new friends or find a new love? If you believe in yourself, you'll know these things are possible.

To live a great life, to have the life you want, you have to conquer fear. How?

Recognize it. Figure out exactly what you're afraid of. Is it being lonely? Going broke? Being criticized? Before you can beat it, you have to know what you're afraid of.

Get smart. Knowledge is power - BIG artillery in the fight against fear. Do your homework, read everything about what you're facing. If you're thinking about starting a business, become an expert in the field. Talk to those who have gone before you. Information is easier to get than ever before.

Build your army. You need supporters in this fight - good friends, mentors, people who have been there or will cheer you on. Get rid of those who want you to stay small and scared with them. Misery (and mediocrity) love company.

Just do it! The only way to master a new task is to do it, then you own it. You may not be perfect the first time, but you'll get better. Things are rarely as bad as we think they are going to be. A technique that works for me is to think about the very worst thing that could possibly happen (I make a cold call, they ask me to leave.) Okay - so what? If I never make a cold call, I'll never get asked to leave, but I'll never get a new account either. No risk, no reward. Are you in a bad relationship, but scared to leave because you might not meet anyone else? Hello? This relationship is bad! You'll NEVER get a good relationship by staying in it.

Start small. Scared to make the big leap? Just do something scary once a week. What's scary? Anything that puts you out of your comfort zone. Call someone you've always admired and ask them to lunch. Eat in a restaurant you've never been to. Go to a movie alone. Jump out of an airplane. Meet your neighbors. Talk to your teenager. Do whatever makes you a little nervous. Your world is as big as you make it. Fear keeps it small.

Refuse fear. When fear starts to creep up on you (and it will), refuse it. Remind yourself that you can do it, you are very, very strong. Ultimately you decide whether to be afraid or not.