How to Create Your Ideal Life

Copyright (c) 2009 Willie Horton

It appears from surveys and research that the majority of people, perhaps most, are not entirely satisfied with their lives - to say the least. Many are unhappy with their levels of business success or career progression. Many are in unhappy relationships or are unhappy with themselves - from a weight, fitness or health perspective. And, if the surveys are to be believed, most express a dissatisfaction with their financial security.

The point is that very few people appear to be living their ideal lives. Indeed, surveys aside, psychological work stretching back over thirty years suggests that only about 4% of people are living in that "peak experience" zone. From my work with business and private clients over the last thirteen years, I would suggest that these highly respected universities have greatly overstated that percentage - I've met only a handful of people (out of thousands) that are living their ideal life.

In a recent workshop with what I would consider to be an exceptional senior management team, we had an in-depth discussion on the concept of "ideal life". We came to the conclusion that one's ideal life is a mental concept, one which is based not on what one has, but how one feels. Of paramount importance is the extent to which one feels empowered and effective in the present moment.

Whilst I fully agree with the view that my ideal life might be far from someone else's - because I am totally happy with the present moment - it's difficult to expect people to feel they have their ideal life if they're over-weight, have just lost their business or job, can't pay their debts, are being subjected to regular domestic violence or have just lost a loved one. These circumstances are very real. They impact not only the fabric of our lives but dent our self-esteem. They are circumstances with which many feel incapable of coping. Indeed, only when you have sorted out the very basics of life - like physical safety, a reasonable level of economic existence, etc. - can you afford the luxury of saying that your ideal life is a mental concept or state of mind.

And yet, state of mind is the one thing in your life over which you have absolute and full control. No one else can affect your state of mind - unless you let them. Outside events can not affect your state of mind - unless, again, you let them. The one place on this earth, in your life, over which you are lord and master is your own state of mind. Unfortunately, the normal state of mind succumbs to the negative effects of outside events and other normal people. Unfortunately, normal people believe that there is no easy solution (or any solution at all) to many of life's woes. Unfortunately, normal people continuing behaving the same way and, in doing so, have the bizarre belief that they will obtain different results.

If you don't have all the necessities of life that enable you live your ideal life - it's your own fault for not doing something about it. By that I mean, not doing something from constantly repeating the same actions, reactions, behaviour and routine. If you want something different or more out of life - then, you need to do different things, take different actions, start acting and stop reacting. You need to free yourself from your not too-uncomfortable zone.

The first thing you need to do differently is to take full control of and responsibility for your own state of mind because, as I've said time and again in other articles and on my website, your state of mind is the key - the only key - that you need to achieve and create your ideal life. You need to discipline yourself so that you can develop a clear and present state of mind - a state of mind that is not distracted by useless thoughts (why me, poor me, self-doubt, worry) - a state of mind that is fully focused, not on your ideal life but on whatever it is that you should be doing now - that's what presence is.

You can only develop mental discipline by being disciplined - I know that sounds obvious, but it intrigues me the number of times I hear people saying that nothing has changed in their lives and, when I enquire, discover that they have changed nothing about the manner in which they cultivate mental discipline. As far as I'm concerned, the best way to develop mental discipline, focus and presence is through meditation - even ten minutes each morning is enough to set off a new chain of events. But, one of my clients meditates for one hour every morning and his life and health have altered immeasurably since doing so. To get up that hour earlier, he needs to go to bed one hour earlier each night. As he says "If I really want to change my life, I had to change my life!" That's the lesson - one for you, me, all of us. We need to do different things. Meditation is a sure and certain step towards mental control - and once you control your mind, you control your life.

But here's another simple idea. Do one completely new thing every day - in either your business or personal life. Whatever it is, new actions create new results.