Muna wa Wanjiru Has Been Researching and Reporting on Anger for Years. For More Information on Angry Child, Visit His Site at ANGRY CHILD
Handling children's anger can be confusing and stressing for adults. Children are best followers of parents. We were not always learnt how to deal with anger as a fact of life during our childhood. It was believed that to be angry was to be bad. Our goal is not be repressed or destroy angry feelings in children or in ourselves. We have to accept the feelings and must help to canalize and direct them to constructive ends.
We must allow children to feel or emotions. We should set a good example infront of children of ours in expressing the anger controllably. Because they are children angry outbursts should not always be viewed as a sign of serious problems; they should be recognized and treated with respect. We must know what may have triggered an outburst. Sometimes anger may be a defense to avoid painful feelings, it may be associated with failure, low-esteem and feelings of isolation; or it may be related to anxiety about situations over which the child has no control. In childhood anger and sadness are very close to one another and many times sadness is expressed by a child as anger.
While dealing with children we should carefully select our words and our actions should be motivated by the need to protect and to reach, not by a desire to punish. You should accept their feelings and suggest other ways to express the feelings. You should tell them what you expect of them. You will find countless opportunities during the day to make comments like "I like that you don't need reminder for completing homework". You should deliberately ignore the behavior which can be tolerated. But the child has to understand that behavior is inappropriate.
Providing physical exercise and movement both at home and at school is as important as their behavior. Encouraging children to see their strengths as well as their weaknesses helps them to see how they can reach their goals. Self esteem and positive image is very important for children. They should be shown that they valued and valuable people. Parents are role model of any child and hence there is powerful influence of parent's actions on a child's behavior. Aggressive behaviors can be avoided by placing children in good situations. Children are often calmed by having an adult come closer by and express interest in children's activity.
If you ask the child to show the toy or tool which he is about to use in a destructive way can be stopped easily. If you show affection then the attention seeking child may stop the misbehavior.
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