Denise Ryan, MBA, is a Certified Speaking Professional, a designation of excellence held by less than 10% of all professional speakers. She is a blogger http://motivationbychocolate.blogspot.com Her website is http://www.firestarspeaking.com where you can see more articles and sign up for a free newsletter.
I know you all have had them - weeks from HELL! That is what this week has been for me. There was a discovery of a database disaster, a man who cheated on me called, I saw a surgeon about my hip (very bad news), and just this morning USAA called to tell me of some unauthorized use of my credit card. I am praying to the great cacao bean in the sky to end this madness!
Apparently I am much better in retrospect than I am in an actual relationship. The cheater wants a second chance - I was so great, I believed in him, he was so grounded when he was with me, blah, blah, blah. Whatever. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. I already feel it's shame on me. The whole thing just brings up some very yucky feelings and still manages to bother me.
Then the surgeon - ah! I got to see the recent x-ray of my arthritic hip. There is zero cartilage left. Zero. The bone is forming all kinds of spurs and cysts - it's a veritable bone party in there. And, I didn't know this, but bones have nerves (like teeth) and every time I walk or move a certain way, those nerves are rubbing together. The surgeon was shocked I was still walking 5 miles a day. Little does he know it's merely so I can continue my chocolate habit and simultaneously fit into my clothes.
They are going to give me a steroid injection in my hip next week, but the only real solution is surgery. After you realize this, they have you watch a little video. That is what pushed me over the edge - seeing how they have to scrape out the leg bone and jam a plastic rod in there to link with the new fake hip. I had no idea - I don't know what I was thinking, but this is no outpatient procedure. Three to four days in the hospital, no driving, I'll need some kind of home care or I can go into a rehab facility (basically a nursing home). Two months of recovery time (and that's on the good side) - and I work for myself - if I don't speak, I don't earn any money. And it ain't like this is going to be cheap.
Then the credit card call. Get this - they called me with an automated message and had me confirm the charges were not made by me. I was so freaked out, I couldn't even remember my own zip code. Then they put me on hold to wait on a fraud representative. I was on hold for a while, then a voice came on, said all the representatives were busy assisting other callers (i.e. not me), gave me another number to call, and before I could even write it down, HUNG UP ON ME! Yes, they called me, scared me to death, and then hung up on me. I think I may go on a workplace rampage. The police can take me and my hip out in a blaze of glory after I kill the USAA fraud department operators. That will solve all my problems in one fell swoop.
Luckily they caught this - the high rolling criminals were not able to get their Walmart charge to go through.
So what does one do with a week from hell?
1.) End it with Friday. I've decided this bad week is ending today. That the bad mojo is gone. That the weekend will be great.
2.) Deal with the worst. Okay, we're doing what we can about the database fiasco. I'm getting the hip injection Monday and will see the surgeon again in August. I'm just going to have to suck it up and figure out how to handle it when we decide to operate. I'm also going to try to get in even better shape so I can recover as quickly as possible. I'm trying really hard not to be afraid.
3.) Buy chocolate. One of my favorite places in all the world is A Southern Season in Chapel Hill. This place is mecca for foodies. They have every coffee, tea, wine, candy, meat, cheese, bread, chip, hot sauce, olive oil - whatever you could ever want.
They are located right down the road from the surgeon. What better way to take your mind off bad news? Look at lots of shiny, tasty treats. I'm still doing my part to help the economy. Looks like I'll be helping the health care system quite a bit. Maybe I can get my own personal bail out...
4.) Reach out. This is going to be the hardest step for me. I know I'm going to have to do it, but it is so hard!! My whole goal of taking care of my health was to remain independent. (So much for those best laid plans.)
5.) Be grateful. Once again this always makes me feel better. At least I'm not the victim of a chocolate vat accident. Thank the Church of Chocolate there IS chocolate (and all those other wonderful things to eat). I'm lucky I have work that I love and that people read my crazy articles. I need to focus on all the good stuff and not the bad stuff.
6.) Find the lesson. There are always lessons in whatever bad things happen to you. The hip - well, I didn't do anything that I'm aware of to cause the arthritis, but I will still do everything I can to maintain my health and to recover quickly from the surgery. And maybe it happened so I'll learn to (GASP) let other people help me. And the credit card - what a gift! It's a great story for my telephone customer service training. Don't scare the crap out of your customers and then hang up on them. Woohoo!
7.) Do not go to the pity party. I had a BIG pity party last night. HUGE. All about how alone I am. The new BF lives two hours away and this is a LOT to deal with. Who really wants a girlfriend who's falling apart?) Probably a great reason to bail. See? This is bad, bad thinking. The pity party does absolutely no good. You feel about a thousand times worse; you're tired and wrung out. Obsessing over all the bad things that could happen or that have happened is like volunteering to keep the flames stoked in hell. Why would you do this? You have to stop this train of thought early on - call a friend, watch TV, go to sleep, blog - do anything but go to the pity party.
8.) Laugh. Okay, I won't lie - I'm not finding much of this very funny right now. (Well, maybe the idea of killing the USAA Fraud Department operators.) But don't worry, I will. After the surgery? Hell, I'm going to start telling people I'm bionic.
Next time you have a bad week - apply these tips - maybe they'll help you too.
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A




The Attitude of Gratitude –Express Gratitude
By: Brenda Blindenbach | 23/12/2009If you want to develop the attitude of gratitude a sure way to start this process is to express gratitude for the all the ways that people have either served or blessed you. It seems easier for people to be thankful or grateful for the big stuff that happens to them, and neglect to recognize or appreciate the small acts of kindness that people do.
How Penelope Cruz Leverages Her Fear to Create Mastery
By: Valery Satterwhite | 23/12/2009Penelope Cruz makes no secret that she's terrified when she embarks on a new project, a new role. If fear holds you back you can Find Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) not to take on challenges, quit or hold back or you can channel it into mastery in your creative endeavor.
Teaching as an Encore Career
By: Lin Schreiber | 23/12/2009I love films that uplift and inspire. When they're based on a true story about a teacher who's making a difference in students' lives, I'm in heaven. I recently had the privilege of seeing the outstanding documentary, Pressure Cooker. If you're thinking about teaching as your encore career, read on to discover how this Philadelphia home economics teacher inspired her students to greatness.
How Your Actions Help You to Achieve Success
By: Loren Fogelman | 23/12/2009How often have you heard the phrase "walking your talk?" When that does not happen there is a disconnect. What you are saying and what you are doing are two different things. When you have a discrepancy between your words and your actions, your actions will be the truth. People will pay attention to what you are doing and disregard what you say.
Four Steps To Promotion
By: Bob Malloney | 23/12/2009If you are ambitious and want to get ahead, the current economic slowdown may well be frustrating your plans to move your career forward. There are four proactive steps you can take now to place yourself in pole position to move your career forward.
The Secret- Behind The Secret
By: Leanne Griffiths | 23/12/2009I had been a fan of The Secret forever and had followed instructions to the letter. Why was I still struggling? broke? Found my answers in the most unusual place!
Create Your Reality: Planting a Garden of Possibilities
By: Theresa Crabtree | 23/12/2009Let us embark on a journey inward, to the place where ideas and dreams are seeded. These are created first by the mind and then with conscious intention. For anything to become a reality in your personal life, you must first know it as a possibility. Then among the myriad of possibilities, you may choose those that you would like to incorporate into your life.
Changing Habits Using Positive Intentions
By: Theresa Crabtree | 23/12/2009Do you find yourself repeatedly falling into an old habit that you would like to break? Do others complain about something you do that annoys them? Are you wanting to change a belief code or pattern that no longer is useful? By using positive intentions, begin to create the life you desire to live.
What Would Don Draper Do?
By: Denise Ryan | 15/09/2009 | Self ImprovementTrying to figure out a course of action? Take a look at these tips from Mad Men's character Don Draper.
What Dating Can Teach You about Sales
By: Denise Ryan | 02/09/2009 | BusinessThis article gives tips on how to be better at sales and at dating.
Life is a Trade Show
By: Denise Ryan | 23/07/2009 | BusinessThis articles gives tips for trade show success as well as success in life.
How to Survive a Bad Week
By: Denise Ryan | 13/07/2009 | Self ImprovementAfter a terrible week, the writer gives tips on how to recover. You'll find these ideas helpful anytime to need to get out of a funk.
How to be Free - Part Two
By: Denise Ryan | 08/07/2009 | Self ImprovementThis is the second in an article series on freedom. It gives tips on how to maximize your freedom and addresses relationships, addictions and health.
Technology is My Best Friend and My Worst Enemy
By: Denise Ryan | 07/07/2009 | BusinessThis hilarious article gives the reader tips on how to communicate better with technology. Written by a clear non-techie the tips are solid ones for all of us.
How to be Free - Part One Financial Freedom
By: Denise Ryan | 06/07/2009 | Self ImprovementThis is the first in a series about freedom. It addresses the things that might be keeping you from being free and focuses on financial freedom. The author gives tips on getting out of debt.
How to be Successful
By: Denise Ryan | 26/06/2009 | Self ImprovementEverything hasn't changed - the basic keys to success are the same as they have always been. This article tells you what they are.