Improving Self-esteem

Hello and welcome to - How To Improve Your Self-Esteem Fast! I have written about what I feel self esteem is all about and how I improved mine. I am not a doctor nor am I an expert, but I have read a lot of self help books to improve my own self-esteem, and I believe that high self esteem is a huge factor in leading a happy life.

So What Is Self-Esteem?

Your self-esteem is not only how you feel about yourself in the present, it is how you asses yourself fundamentally through out the long term. If you have low self esteem, daily events can have a major influence on how you feel. For example, a kind gesture from a friend or a good day at work can make you feel great for a few days. And alternately a not so nice day can make you feel extremely low. And lets face it most days are uneventful and dull, so when you have low self esteem staying high can be a struggle! A good healthy self-esteem is based on accepting yourself for who you are - know who you are, and be content, like yourself!

Your Self-esteem Has Been...

Built and developed throughout out your entire life to this point in time now! And yes you guessed it, child hood had a huge impact on your self-esteem. All the pleasant, good, bad and ugly stuff that happened while growing up had an influence on how you rate yourself today. Healthy self-esteem will have been built from praise, respect and stable influences while growing up. People who were yelled at, regularly criticized, abused, given no positive attention, bullied etc, will have found it difficult to develop a healthy self-esteem. These are extreme examples, and subtle negative/positive experiences have a big impact also. Things happening that you don't necessarily remember, or didn't think much of can have been big influences also.

Argue With Your "Inner Voice" To Help Improve Self-Esteem

We all have an inner voice constantly chatting away inside our heads. It passes comment on everything we did/do/want to do. And for those with healthy self-esteem it reassures and compliments. For us with poor self-esteem the inner voice criticizes, puts us down and stands in our way! When you do something, like for example - compete in sport or go for a job interview, and some one praises you the inner voice will say something like "he was lying, you were terrible, don't bother next time". What you must do is contradict the inner voice, and snap back with something like - "He praised me because I did well, I might not have been perfect but win lose or draw I did my best and I'm proud of myself!"

Arguing with your inner voice will go along way towards improving your self-esteem, start now! Remember this, YOU are the boss, YOU are in control, don't let the critic within bring you down!

Using Positive Affirmations To Improve Self-Esteem

A positive affirmation is a positive statement about yourself. Use them in a meditation technique, as well as through each day by saying them to yourself in your mind. Ideally you want to relax at least once a day and just quietly repeat some positive statements to yourself - playing some relaxing music at the same time is real good help!

Examples of positive affirmations to improve self-esteem:

Who You Are -

I am beautiful

I am strong

I am special

Who you will be -<

I can be a winner

I can be strong

I can heal

I can lose weight

I will do -

I will like myself

I will smile more

I will control my temper

By repeating these things to yourself on a constant basis you have no choice but to believe them deep down! You will become these things, and that's improving self-esteem.

Self-Nurturing To Improve Self-Esteem

Self-nurturing is critical to improving self-esteem. Start by looking after yourself physically, by eating well, staying/getting into shape and having all the sleep you need - not too much and not too little.

Self-nurturing to improve self-esteem is making yourself feel worthwhile. Treat yourself regularly by doing fun and enjoyable things - especially when you've achieved something meaningful. You must reward yourself for accomplishments! Think of the things you like about yourself, and remind yourself constantly about them. Don't dwell or punish yourself for failing - reward yourself for trying in the first place. Remember to concentrate on the good and learn to forgive what you perceive to be the bad. Times when you don't feel good or positive are crucial, you must find things about yourself that are good no matter how small they might be! Improving self-esteem will come by doing these things. Acquiring help from loved ones can be a big help for improving self-esteem. Ask friends and family to tell you what they like about you. Ask them to be your release valve when you feel low or frustrated - by just listening when your letting off steam, this can be a huge help in improving self-esteem.

Your Environment Is Vital To Improving Self-esteem And Maintaining It

Being surrounded by warm, loving people is a huge factor in self-esteem. Now I know this isn't possible for a lot, not everyone has a caring friend and family network. However you must ensure that those you do have in your life accept you, and of course you must accept them for who they are. A feeling of acceptance will help you to realize that differences between people are okay. Relationships with others will be easier to build by understanding this. Bond with those you see and interact with every day, do this by simply talking, touching while talking, showing respect, listening, being supportive, and being honest. Liking those around you and knowing that they feel the same about you is a huge boost to ones self-esteem!

Criticism

Don't be sorry for who you are! If and when you're criticised, for what ever reason be sure to "judge" what is said to you before responding. Don't automatically apologise! If the criticism is fair then take it on board and respond by agreeing with the criticiser. If unfair then stand up to it, like with your inner voice. A well composed and self-possessed person will listen to criticism without interrupting and then respond. Be sure to give criticism at appropriate times, people with poor self-esteem often find it harder to give than to take. Don't let annoyances go until you "boil over", it's usually better to nip things in the bud. Be tactful and try not to hurt another persons' self-esteem. Use the word "I" not "you", example - I have trouble when that happens.

David Stuart
www.improvingselfesteemfast.com