
As hot debate continues to rage over the thorny issue of what actually comes under the umbrella of "coaching" and what falls outside its remit, it's time to start being honest with ourselves...
But before we do, I'm becoming increasingly convinced that it's only coaches who actually care about the semantics! Our clients, in the main, couldn't give a damn - they just know that they want someone to help them move from where they are to where they want to be!
Business development guru Peter Thomson neatly summed up the difference between what people think they want, and what they actually want when he once pointed out that "When someone buys a drill, it's not a drill they really want. What they really want is a hole!"
And I guess it's the same with coaching. Clients aren't actually that bothered over whether the right coaching questions are asked - or even whether they're asked in the right order - all they really want is a mechanism that helps them achieve their goals.
Some - but not all - coaches pride themselves on the fact that they allow their clients to come up with all the answers. The idea is that the coach simply asks good questions and the client searches within himself for those responses that will help him best.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for using intuition and inner creativity, but for my money, this approach is simply abdicating the coach from any responsibility! It would, however, explain why there are so many people on the scene who - having completed a single weekend's coaching course - now sport business cards boasting that they too are bona fide members of the coaching fraternity...
Your client needs more than a list of questions...
If coaching were only about asking "the right questions and letting the client come up with all the answers", then a robot could do the job!
Within the industry, we encourage clients to feel comfortable with the coach they choose. While part of the comfort factor comes from a sense of rapport and knowing that the coach is there to act as a "personal conscience" (reminding the coachee of their personal objectives and commitments), knowing that the coach has at least a smattering of understanding about the challenges facing them is also of high importance to the client.
Surely, the point is to bring to your clients the wealth of expertise you have - and by applying previous experience (and of course encouraging your client to do the same) to the current situation, the learning & development process for your client is streamlined. It's this level of expertise that corporate clients expect - and pay for!
To those coaches who would argue that this approach is actually better described as "consultancy", I would simply say "nonsense"! When you're brought into an organisation as a consultant, you're there to do the work itself, or to bring specific advice to a particular project. When you're brought into an organisation as a coach, you're there to work with the people who are there to do the work. It's an important distinction.
When we refuse to share our knowledge because "we're coaches not consultants", then everyone loses: the corporate paymaster, the individual coachee and ultimately the coach himself - whose credibility is soon diminished.
Of course, the focus of every coaching session must remain on the client. And when the client doesn't have direct experience of a particular situation, then the imagination becomes a powerful tool in the coach's arsenal.
While much can be learned from the past (isn't it interesting just how many CEOs rely on the oldest military treatise in the world: Sun Tzu's "Art of War"), it also worth inviting the imagination to play out a number of likely scenarios, just as Edward de Bono would encourage with his "six hats" exercise. Engaging the imagination in this way once again enables a streamlined learning process.
Their life is in their hands - not yours!
Of course, the client remains the final arbiter and decision maker - and it's absolutely about helping him achieve what's right for him. It goes without saying that it's never about persuading your client to do what you'd do in his circumstances!
But refusing to let him benefit from a wider perspective is not only cruel but bordering on the criminal. (If we apply the same logic to children, while we know that kids (and indeed adults) learn from their mistakes, it's a rare parent who would be prepared to stand back and watch a child let his hand sizzle in a naked flame.) In the same way that we have a responsibility to our children, we also have a responsibility to our clients - while of course not making the mistake of treating clients as though they were children!
When we get hung up on the debate about coaching v consultancy, we allow ourselves to be distracted from the outcome - and indeed the process - instead choosing to hang our hat on semantics.
And when we get distracted in this way, we're short changing our clients. Isn't it time instead, to start focusing on delivering all of our best stuff?"
Related Articles
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome and Massage Therapy
By: Ben Crabtree, LMT, CNMT | 04/11/2007 | Alternative Medicine
In my San Antonio Massage Therapy and Bodywork practice I often treat pain from various syndromes including Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. Like many painful conditions Thoracic Outlet Syndrome responds very well to massage therapy and bodywork.
Massage Therapy for the New Year
By: Lydia Hernandez | 05/01/2008 | Health
The New Year has come and the resolutions have been made. The number one resolution is usually to get into better shape or improve your health. Keeping one or both of those resolutions would be great but we probably all agree that it's pretty hard to do. Well, it's easier to get into shape or improve your overall health when you add massage therapy to your health and fitness regimen.
Complete Well-being Begins With Building Positive Emotions
By: Julie Fisher | 15/01/2007 | Self Help
Women come to me often wondering why they are having a hard time finding their own place of well-being or inner calm. So I'm always looking for the hard facts. Specifically, my curiosity has always been around complete well-being: not just physical health, or financial wealth, beauty or balanced weight,...
Dating Advice: 5 Biggest Internet Dating Mistakes
By: The Singles Coach Trisha Stone | 06/03/2007 | Dating
Dating after a divorce is tough. Let's face it getting back into dating at any time is a minefield. You don't quite know where to start so here are a few internet dating mistakes and their solutions.
1. Too much too soon
So you have been ploughing through those endless profiles on...
Schizophrenia and Coaching at Work
By: Matt Somers | 06/04/2008 | Business
The modern place of work is the scene of much stress and sometimes deeper issues may be revealed. This article considers the disturbing condition of schizophrenia and how managers who coach may notice the early signs.
Preventing Sinus Congestion During a Massage
By: Ben Crabtree, LMT, CNMT | 04/11/2007 | Wellness
Being a Massage Therapist I give a lot of massages to all sorts of people at my San Antonio, Texas practice. Like my clients I love to get a wonderful therapeutic massage as often as I can. However, like many other people I sometimes have a problem with sinus congestion while lying face down during the massage session.
The Multi-level Marketing (MLM) Matrix
By: Gudmundur Sigurdarson | 16/01/2007 | Sales
What do you need to be succesful as a Multilevel marketer. These are the same things you will need when starting your own business. Learn how coaching can give you an advantage.
Eating Disorders: What Coaching Managers Should Know
By: Matt Somers | 07/04/2008 | Business
Coaching may uncover deeper issues than are suggested by the initial reason for the coaching session. Whilst I would not advocate amateur psychotherapy, managers who coach would do well to familiarise themselves with some common conditions.This article focuses on eating disorders
Got a Question? Ask.
Ask the community a question about this article:
Frequently Asked Questions
Wheelchairs in Oregon
By: WhiteLotus | 05-07-2008
Is it illegal for someone to ride in a wheelchair, outside on city streets, with no footrests?
Behaving backward and encouraging bad behavior in kids
By: afraid | 05-07-2008
I am desperate to help my family. My "husband" is troubled. He behaves in such odd ways that it is impossible to work with him in any way. He freaks out if someone scratches the wall, but is allowing out house to fall apart around us. He ignores good behavior and seems just fine with bad behavior (missing curfew, smoking pot, skipping school). He'll just stand there and let people completely insult me (which they have figured out is a good way to get rewards from him), and then be so upset that I won't say "hello" or eat something he has cooked. Nothing seems normal with him, in fact it has always seemed like his brain in wired backwards. It is getting worse with time and the kids are figuring out how to use his bizaar behavior to their benefit. Is there a disorder that makes someone work this way. He has gone completely wacko and I am afraid of what is going to happen to all of us.
Surgery needed-insurance won't pay-what options do I have?
By: Sara | 05-07-2008
I need a mini-gastric bypass surgery and my insurance won't pay. I have bad credit. Are there ANY loans I can get for this? This IS a medically necessary surgery.
Bone marrow biopsy
By: mpc | 05-07-2008
what causes bone marrow to appear bright orange on aspiration?
Health question, please help
By: honeybn | 05-07-2008
I am a 42 yr old female. Am a vegetarian, and for the past week my chest has been feeling "tired". Like my heart "flutters", and like my blood pressure is low. A few days ago, I felt like i was going to "black out". And last night i felt like i was having a panic attack. What could this be?
Starting medications
By: Beaner | 05-07-2008
How soon after taking new medications do you develop anaphylaxis(reactions)
Q&A Powered by:
Latest Self Improvement Articles
Heal the Mind That Binds You
By: Kate Loving Shenk | 19/07/2008
Z Point Therapy Is an Energy Healing Tool To Deliver Peace of Mind and Joy.
Generosity of Spirit
By: Veronica Hay | 19/07/2008
We are living in extraordinary times. More and more people are beginning to wake up. They are becoming conscious in their everyday activities and for many, seeing the world with new eyes, perhaps for the very first time.
Personal Development - Add Juice To Your Life!
By: Koz Huseyin | 19/07/2008
Life is growth, and we are not growing we are dying. If we think about this point, we can see how life can become monotonous, and mundane. When we explore we feel great, when we settle to routine, we lose sight of a vision.
The Top 6 Factors of Successful Goal Setting
By: Tony Hall | 17/07/2008
The key to getting what you want in life is to identify, plan, and implement effective goals. You should have meaningful goals for all the areas of your life that you wish to focus upon developing. Only by doing so can you truly hope to be successful. And here you can learn about the 6 all-important factors that you must include.
Limp Handshake?
By: Keith Shaw | 17/07/2008
Making a powerful impression is critical for setting the right tone - during an interview or even when you meet someone for the first time. And, in the far majority of cases, the first impression is the only impression you may make on someone else. So here are three key interpersonal skills that work for me time and time again.
Sleep Better With Reiki
By: Andy Rogers | 16/07/2008
Suffering from insomnia? Can't get enough sleep and keep tossing and turning at night? Now try Reiki.
Why Do People Dream and What Cause Them?
By: Michael McGrath | 16/07/2008
Learn why people dream and little about learning to control your dreams.
Retreat in Silence
By: Ann Golden Egle | 16/07/2008
Are you past due for an inspirational shot in the arm to provide clarity for your life and your career? Here are three key steps for a successful silent retreat from a Master Certified Coach.
More from Olivia Stefanino
Discover Why You Absolutely Have to Specialise..
By: Olivia Stefanino | 01/05/2008 | Self Improvement
If you know that your soul purpose is to help others and yet you're having difficulty finding the right clients, then you're being given a gentle spiritual nudge!
Should Coaches Also Offer Counselling?
By: Olivia Stefanino | 30/04/2008 | Self Improvement
Coaching is about helping the client achieve his or her goals and objectives - and as such is future paced. What's happened in the past is of no importance, right? Wrong!...
Is it Time for Coaches to Offer a Guarantee?
By: Olivia Stefanino | 29/04/2008 | Self Improvement
As coaching grows ever-more popular, it's hardly surprising that the demands for regulation get ever-louder. Of course, the unwary and the unsuspecting must be protected from the unscrupulous ' and yet if coaching is stand the long term test of time...
Stuart Learns That Micromanaging Spells Disaster!
By: Olivia Stefanino | 28/02/2008 | Business
Stuart had built up his electrical contracting company over five years - and was disappointed to find that the staff he had recruited did not seem to share his enthusiasm for the job. I asked Stuart to describe his company structure - and it became clear that right from the early days, he had been planning for the future. Casting his mind back...
Phil Learns to Serve Rather Than be Served!
By: Olivia Stefanino | 27/02/2008 | Business
Phil swaggered into my office, sank into the back of the chair that I offered - and swiftly folded his arms. Without saying anything, Phil simply looked at me with his left eyebrow raised. His defensive body language made it clear that he was not looking forward to our session
Pete Learns to Make a Relationship - not a Sale!
By: Olivia Stefanino | 26/02/2008 | Business
Pete had worked in sales for the last five years - but in spite of his extensive experience, he was convinced that he still had a lot to learn. Apart from his innate sense of curiosity - which had often got him into trouble at school - Pete particularly wanted to know why some of his colleagues were consistently viewed as the company's "superstars"...
Sue and Jane Learn the Value of Firing Clients!
By: Olivia Stefanino | 25/02/2008 | Self Improvement
Working in the same office for nearly 14 years, Sue and Jane not only were able to cover for each other over holidays and sickness - but they had also built up a great friendship too. When their boss had retired, he had sold his engineering business - with the result that Sue and Jane found themselves being made redundant...
Clocking the Right Solution to a Long Term Sleep Problem!
By: Olivia Stefanino | 24/02/2008 | Self Improvement
Michael sat opposite me looking tired, pale and drained. Having already told me that he was finding his new job to be increasingly stressful, he finally admitted that he hadn't had more than four hours sleep at night for more than three years...