I have designed some activities to build self-esteem that I would like to share from a series of lessons I am designing on "mental self-defense strategies". Dream Busters ~ Recognizing Resistance~
We have all suffered some forms of conflict or abuse in our lives. But here's what I discovered: it is how we react to that abuse that will strengthen or weaken us. Everyone has dreams, right? How many of us have had a dream kicked to the curb? Can you remember what you wanted to be? Or do you have a dream right now tucked away in the back of your mind?
Have you ever been convinced to walk away from your dream by people who managed to throw enough self doubt at you to win that war of attrition; the constant day in and day out negative input that pushes you to give up your dreams and conform to something you're not! "What are you nuts? You can't do that!" "Oh there's another hair brained scheme!" "Get Real! Go get a real job!" "Who do you think you are? You aren't something special, stick to the things you can handle." " What are you stupid or something? Why do you think you can do that?" Lambasting you with negativity and giving you the message " Who are you to become an author, or an inventor, or any number of other things your dreams may lead you to?" The litany goes on and on. Often the words that sting the most come from the people closest to us, I once heard that negative words were sixteen times more powerful than positive words and especially if they come from people you love. Many of us have heard similar comments from our own families. And remember that "family" is not just relatives but our closest circle of influence, the people that influence you the most in your life on a day-to-day basis.
We must learn how to reinforce our mental immune systems. As you are just opening up to re-affirming and re-discovering your dreams it is important not to leave yourself open to Dream Busting attacks. Often when you are in the early creative process you want to share that with the people closest to you, but too many times you get shot down by those around you and are stopped before you even get started. We already have to deal with our own internal dream busters, voices from our past that can wreak havoc in our present.
It is amazing how many of us constantly go through life creating speaking and thinking negative affirmations all day long to ourselves, "I always do that, I'm so stupid, etc." causing our ill emotional and mental states, yet we often have such an aversion to the idea that positive affirmations will have the same impact (but in the desired direction.) Pessimism and negativity are a much more accepted form of self-talk. Recognizing it can be difficult. Sometimes it takes the form of a mental pause where suddenly you start to doubt yourself, and your dream seems to waver. Perhaps you start to wonder about your own ability.
Become aware of this and catch it at that moment, realize that it is a trigger. Learn to recognize when you are being "infected" by those around you by noticing those moments of self-doubt when they arise. It is here that the use of positive affirmations can be very useful. Often we may find that our three biggest enemies are "Me, Myself and I." Basically the limitations that get dumped on us from an early age get internalized so we then have to deal with internal as well as external "Dream Busters."
Activities To Build Self-Esteem: Exercise 1: Write down the 3 top Dream Busting phrases that really get to you, that make you contemplate kicking your dream to the curb, it is different for everyone, but usually there is at least one that just sticks in your craws so to speak.
Exercise 2: Write down the 3 top Dream Busters in your life (people who just don't get it, they could be trying to "help" but are only harming, or, as unfortunately can often be the case, they may be malicious and just trying to knock you down). These are usually the source of the phrases you came up with in the first exercise. Who says those things to you, where do they come from? Or if it is internal, where did it come from originally? The point of the exercise is to begin to recognize Dream Busters in all forms so you can build up defenses to counteract their influence in your life.
Exercise 3: Now finally, take a good hard look at these sources that you have written down and ask yourself, are these people where you want to be? Have they accomplished what you dream about doing? I will tell you now that the answer to that question is most often a resounding no! You can't learn how to swim from a drowning man. Think about this: are these people who really have something to offer, or just people with so much to say and nothing to offer themselves?
You are a power unto yourself, and nobody can truly take that away. It is only when we allow other people power over our dreams that we hand over the keys to our future.
Got a Question? Ask.
Ask the community a question about this article:
Frequently Asked Questions
What Cocktail dress to wear with Christian Louboutin Glitter Prive Heels?..
By: HellonHeels | 17-09-2008
Need Help! I bought the shoes of my dreams... the Christian Louboutin multi colored glitter slingback Prive heels (with the gold heel) - LOVE, LOVE, LOVE... but am finding it hard to find the perfect cocktail dress to go with them. I know I should go simple because the shoes are so WOW, but I'm having a hard time. Even my "go to" Little Black Dress, seems blah. Any ideas on what to wear with these gorgeous shoes? Should I stay neutral or do you think I can go with color? If color won't be over the top, any ideas? Thanks!!
Where can I buy a really cheap Replica brand name ...
By: sizumi | 17-09-2008
Where can I buy a really cheap Replica brand name Watch?
Boatbuilding clothes
By: andrew wallace | 17-09-2008
Im agj boatbuilder who wheres a particular type of wook clothes that at the end of the day are dirty and worn.I believe that this is a style that is overlooked.I know many woman who think it s kind of a rugged look and shows hard work.Im not talking about electritions and plumbers or even home builders,This is a boatbuilding style all of its own.Do you agree?Andrew. www.traditionalboatworks.com info@traditionalboatworks.com
Where are the clothes for women built like women ...
By: Sally | 17-09-2008
Where are the clothes for women built like women (sizes 12,14,16) that don't look like maternity tops or little girls? The puffy sleeves on blouses aren't flattering, the "Target ad" prints on blouses add pounds, and stilleto heels may be fashionable but killers on the feet! Help!
Dressing for an affair
By: teddy36 | 17-09-2008
I am short 5 feet 1 inch and i weigh 158 lbs- what should i wear to bar mitzvah to look great. Thanxs i was looking for this as i went to many stores- style network but i just can't seem to pull it together - i am in my early 60s but active and working-i keep myself fantastic.
Fashion World Old Fashion
By: Ruby | 17-09-2008
What calis wrong with the Fashion World?, that is the same type of fashion my mom were in the 70's (Plate Form Shoes) and Hot Paints.and Hawter Tops. My young generation should be more creative and creative our own style of clothing shoes....And stop letting the 70's generation creative our fashion for us. Our young generation do have brain and a eyes for real style and Fashion.
Q&A Powered by:
Latest Self Improvement Articles
Getting More Out Of Life With Life Coaching
By: Koz Huseyin | 10/10/2008
Are you a goal setter? Are you a self starter? Do you feel geared for success? In life we find that coaches are present wherever there is high performance. From business men and woman to actors and actresses, and even athletes, they all rely on coaching. As you read this article, you will discover how life coaching can transform your life for the better.
Expect the Unexpected When You Learn to Meditate
By: Donald Mitchell | 09/10/2008
In this article, I describe how learning to meditate led me into unexpected learning.
Every Problem Has A Solution
By: Koz Huseyin | 08/10/2008
When opportunity knocks, we jump in, and then find suddenly a road full of obstacles. The obstacles also known as problems can seem insurmountable. The truth is that there is a solution, even if it seems unlikely. Open your mind, and read. As you do, discover solutions to your problems!
Helpful Resources for Subliminal Messages
By: A. Thomas Perhacs | 08/10/2008
A subliminal message is a message or signal that are hidden from conscious perception. These messages are not recognized by conscious mind, however in certain situation affect subconscious mind and can positively or negatively influence subsequent thoughts, actions, attitude and value system.
Do You Truly Believe That You Can Rise From This Situation?
By: Koz Huseyin | 08/10/2008
Life can seem like a wheel of fortune. Nothing rests and many things change throughout our lives, but there are sometimes those periods of time where it seems like nothing will change for the better. You seem stuck and it seems like nothing will ever change. If you feel like that, then rest assured in the words contained here, and read every word of this article.
Why so Many People Fail
By: Keith Shaw | 08/10/2008
An astonishing 90% of the population has no ideas or plans for what they want out of life! Without a solid life plan to take a hold of, these "drifters" will not have direction or the peace of mind to maximize their lives. Here's how you can craft the life plan to achieve your dreams
5 Ways to Achieving Health, Wealth and Happiness
By: Alexander Gottwald | 07/10/2008
Quick description about the history of Reiki during the past 100 years both in Japan and in the western world. 5 very important reasons for learning Reiki online based on the principles Usui Sensei taught his disciples.
Personal Development And Goal Setting
By: Koz Huseyin | 07/10/2008
One of the best ways to go through personal development is with goal setting. Setting goals is one way to not only gauge where we want to go to, but also allow us to look back on where we been. As you read this article, you will discover how to use goal setting with personal development.
Self Improvement 
