My Journey to Personal Growth

My personal growth journey started in 1999. It increased the level of my awareness. I learned how to take responsibility for my life instead of being a “victim.” I choose not to complain, blame, or justify when things go wrong. Victims blame the economy, their employer, their spouse and everything else. It’s always something or someone that has to be blamed and never them. Instead, I chose to be responsible. I am responsible for my own life. I believe that I create my life. Victims believe that “Life happens to me.”

According to T. Harv Eker, “complaining is the absolute worst possible thing you could do for your health or your wealth. When you are complaining, you are obviously focusing on what’s wrong with it, and since hat you focus on expands, you’ll keep getting more of what’s wrong.” The Law of Attraction tells us that “like attracts like.” If you complain about what you don’t want, you’ll get more of it! This is explained more by Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret. “If you think about what you want in your mind, and make that your dominant thought, you will bring it into your life. Through this most powerful law, your thoughts become things.”

We’ve all heard the voices in our head telling us, “Yes, you can. You can do it!” and “No, you can’t. Just forget it!” The inner battle in our head is so strong that most of us listen to this voice and stop dreaming BIG. What is the life of your dreams? The average person is just content with their lives. When you ask how they are doing, they usually say “Still alive or just surviving.” The first thing that comes to mind is “Negaholic.” According to Dr. Cherie Carter Scott, Nega means negative and holic is someone who is addicted to something. A negaholic is someone addicted to negativity. There are four types of negaholism:

1. Attitudinal Negaholics are successful people who drive themselves relentlessly. To the outsider they appear to have it all together, but inside they are tormented. They are the most subtle form of negaholic because their appearance is crisp, clean, orderly, and aesthetically pleasing. They are usually on top of everything. The negaholics in this group are: The Perfectionist, The Never-Good Enough Person, and the Slave Driver.

2. Behavioral Negaholics may be succeeding in spite of themselves, but they are most often missing the mark. They try so hard that you don’t want to fault them, but their self-sabotage is written all over them. Caught up in the discrepancy between their ideas and their actions, they are unable to break out of the behavioral patterns even though they seem to try. This group consists of The Procrastinator, The Pattern repeater, and The Never Measure-Up Person. Behavioral negaholics act out the negativity in nonsupportive ways such as too much smoking, overeating, excessive drinking, abuse of drugs, and overindulgence in gambling, exercise, TV, work, relationships, sex, and religion.

3. Mental Negaholics are constantly flogging themselves. They glom on to something they have done or said, lock on to it and won’t let go. They are ruthless and indiscriminative, focusing on the past, the present or the future with criticism, invalidation, judgments, and mental abuse. The Constant Critic, The Comparing Contestant, The Retroactive Fault Finder, and The Premature Invalidator are all related mental negaholics.

4. Verbal Negaholics are hopeless, helpless, and unable to change. They make negative statements about themselves others, situations, places, just about anything. Incredibly, they don’t have the slightest idea that they are being negative, they think they are accurately reporting he facts the way they are. In this group are: Bear trapper, The Constant Complainer, The Herald of Disaster, and of course, The Gloom and Doomer.

I learned how to live life in gratitude. I am grateful for my health, family, friends, home, and for everything that I have. Rhonda Byrne said that “It is impossible to bring more into your life if you are feeling ungrateful about what you have. Why? Because the thoughts and feelings you emit as you feel ungrateful are negative emotions. Whether its jealousy, resentment, dissatisfaction, or feelings of “not enough,” those feelings cannot bring you what you want.”

Along my journey, I met great like-minded friends that support my new way of thinking. I found that a lot of my friends are just content with their lives. They don’t risk or take action to achieve the life of their dreams. It’s important to surround ourselves with people who will empower us and make us the best person we are meant to be.

I believe that my personal growth journey is never ending. I choose not to listen to the voices in my head. I choose not to surround myself with negativity. Most of all, I chose to believe in myself.