Personal Development– Learning to Say “no” to Improve your Life

In the Western educational system we are taught the 3 “Rs”. Reading, Writing and Arithmetic? (in old American slang, ‘reading, riting, and rithmatic’)

Not at all.

The three Rs are three rules of life you are taught from the first few seconds of school. 1. Be on time, 2. Follow orders, and 3. Love boring repetitional work.

The sad thing about this is the correlation it produces in society, and that is, “do not say ‘no’. To develop personally, having been taught otherwise, means learning how to say ‘no’

The Hippie Phenomenon

During the late 1960s in the United States, and parts of Europe, saw the rise of a certain segment of young people who just refused to follow the norms.

They changed their appearance, their way of living, and thinking.

Basically they were saying ‘no’ to the status quo, and to the ‘establishment’.

Their movement carries on today as New Age thinking and acting, with proactive involvement in all the aspects that effect everyone’s life.

The Green political movement is a statement of saying ‘no’, and even in the US, where the real 3 Rs are now firmly rooted in the public’s group consciousness; there is a tendency to keep saying ‘no’.

Why It’s Important to Say “no” in Your Life

Being ‘programmed’ to say yes can leave you doing things which are often against your personal development. You need to question all ‘yes’ answers in your life.

You need to ask, “is it me who is saying ‘yes’ here, or am I following the suggestions of the advertising
agency. Is it right to sit on the couch and eat potato chips, ice-cream and watch programs which 100% predictable plots and endings?”

It is important to examine yourself, your motives, and see who is saying yes or no.

If its not you, and it is the programmer of one sort or another, you must say ‘no’ before you have had time to see what are the consequences of agreeing.

Learning to Think Before You Speak

As is human nature, when we are acting habitually, we often speak before we think, and agree before we think. We react in a predictable way.

The various forecasting companies dealing with public opinion know this fact, and build it into their mathematical models and predictive conclusions.

To avoid being like a robot or zombie, start thinking before you speak.

When someone asks you a question of substance, you might think to yourself, “why did he ask me that? What does he want from me? Why was I asked?”

Even a few seconds of thought before responding will give you the edge, as you have left the area of predictability. You can consider the question, and respond after thinking…not automatically.

Learning How to Say ‘no’

The best way to learn to say ‘no’ is to not be so ready to say ‘yes’. You should always be polite in your response, but to say ‘yes’ you must think does the request carry any of the essential requirements:

• By saying yes am I furthering my personal development?

• By saying yes do I get some positive reinforcement? (reward)

• By saying yes am compromising my dignity in any way?

• By saying yes am I betraying important loyalties?

• By saying yes do I advance myself in a positive way?

There are other criteria, but the idea is to fight your programming, and ask yourself by agreement what the consequences are? Learn to say ‘no’, and you will see more coming to you than going from you.