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Everyone one of us knows the important role that self confidence plays in our lives. Without a good measure of confidence in ourselves we would find it difficult to interact in social, business or even personal situations. Every one of us has some degree of confidence in ourselves whether we realize it or not. Without confidence you would not survive in the world! For example you must have enough faith that you can clothe, feed and shelter yourself. However how many of us take a good look at the state of our self esteem? If you take the time to increase your self esteem you will find that your self confidence increases naturally. Build a solid strong self-image, with high self-esteem and you will feel invincible!
Increasing your self-esteem and rebuilding your self image to reflect the person you want to be and the type of person who is already living the life you desire will lead to more happiness, success and confidence. So what is self-esteem and how can you develop your own?
Well, self-esteem is simply a word that is used to describe how you feel about yourself. It represents your own self worth and reflects your internal beliefs about yourself and your place in the world.
Your self-esteem is the bedrock of your self-image and it is your self-image that you use, unconsciously, as a guide to your own abilities - what you think you can and cannot achieve. Your self-image is also the blue-print from which you build your life. If you have a negative or unrealistically negative image of yourself and your abilities then your life will never work the way you wish it to regardless of how hard you try to change it!
As your self image is how you see yourself then this determines how you think, act and react to the world around you. It influences your behaviour and thus it is directly responsible for the results you get in life. Having low self-esteem usually leads to a victim type self-image where you feel like it is impossible for you to succeed.
If you have high self-esteem your self-image will be very positive and you will feel like you can handle any problem and overcome any obstacle. You feel like you will succeed no matter what life throws at you. Optimism will be a natural automatic by-product.
When you have a strong sense of self worth and high self-esteem you tend to know where you are going in life. It is a fact that men and women who have high self-esteem know what they want from life. They are generally much more goal-orientated than others. These people exude confidence and optimism because they believe that no matter what obstacles they encounter they will reach their goal if they keep going and don't give-up!
Having high self-esteem allows you to think clearly and avoid emotional thinking and this leads to the gaining the skill of persistence. It allows you to act in circumstances from a clear mental view point instead of reacting. This gives you much more power in any circumstance because you can think clearly and make decisions based on solid evidence and clear rationalization with the belief that you can find a way to effectively deal with the situation at hand. People with low self-esteem usually just give-up when faced with challenges because they believe they cannot meet them.
People with high self-esteem are more centered in the moment. Their thoughts are not in the past or focused on the distant future. By feeling secure, safe and loving they keep their focus in the present and thus enjoy their experiences much more. Those with low-self-esteem find it hard to enjoy what they are doing because their thoughts dwell on the past, future potential failures and the worry of how other people perceive them. Having a solid belief in yourself and your abilities also gives you the opportunity to look at your weaknesses and improve yourself because you are able to see these as challenges to overcome rather than as a criticisms or affirmations of your faults.
In order to achieve high self-esteem you must first be willing to accept yourself as you are. Stop judging yourself and especially stop judging the past. The key is to live in the moment.
Take inventory of your strengths. Congratulate yourself on your abilities and the skills you have developed on your journey through life. Accept that you have made mistakes, everyone makes them. Accept that you have learned valuable lessons from things that you believe you have done wrong. Every action you have ever taken has helped to develop the person you are today and the knowledge you gained from each experience will help to create the person you intend to be tomorrow. Every experience you have is moving you towards your desires!
Recall your success and dwell on them for a moment internally. There is no need to be egotistical about this. Just congratulate yourself on a job well done and know that you can replicate these successes again and again! Also think about what you want to gain in life. Set yourself some goals. If it seems like they are too far out of reach then set smaller goals first that will lead you closer to your ultimate desires.
Having doubts about your ability to achieve your goals can be used to your advantage. Write down, in a point by point list, all the reason you believe you cannot achieve your goals. Then take each one and develop a plan to overcome each obstacle. An example would be if you wanted a better paying job and set a goal to change your career yet you think that you do not have the necessary experience or qualifications to achieve this. In order to overcome these negative beliefs you must create a plan to gain the experience and/or qualifications you feel you need. Perhaps setting a goal to return to night school or volunteer to gain more experience would address these issues. In such a case you would take inventory of your current circumstances and determine how best you could gain what you needed.
Another essential skill you need to develop is the use of positive self-talk. Watch how you speak to yourself internally and how you speak about yourself to others. Both are forms of affirmations which are really commands you are giving to your subconscious mind. You must reprogram your mind for success. Write your goal down, in the present tense, as though you were telling someone else exactly how your life is now. Read the statement every morning and every night. Try self-hypnosis as a form of positive mental brain-washing. Use it to program your subconscious mind for success.
In this way you will increase your belief in yourself, your abilities and your future and your self-esteem will sky-rocket!
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