The Art of Feeling Good

Thinking that our emotions are controlled by what happens to us is taking the easy way out. Sure external events cause us to be happy or sad. But we do not need to allow these external events to control our emotions.

We can't divorce ourselves from our emotions. But who and what we are is dictated by what emotions we allow to come to the forefront. All it takes is a little effort and you can make sure that the emotions that rule your life are the happy ones. Everyone has some degree of unhappiness in their lives. What is important is not to let the unhappiness fill you to the extent that there is no room left for happiness. Just as you need to exercise to keep in shape, you need to take steps to keep yourself happy. Here area few common mistakes we all make and things you can do to fight against them.

- We all have problems. But to focus on the difficulties and look on them only as obstacles that prevent us from being happy is to let the unhappiness control you. Focus instead on how much better things will be if the obstacles are overcome and let that motivate you to do something to cross them.

- Don't let the injustices of the world get you down. We none of us live in a perfect world and we all have circumstances when we were treated unfairly. Spending your life as a victim will only invite more injustice because you will be looked upon as weak. Either find a way to right the wrongs done to you, or let them go. Your life is not measured in the wrongs done to you but in your success. Focus on that.

- Don't let greed control your life. Desire for improvement and to have more is good - its what pushes us to succeed. But if you spend all your time bemoaning the fact that you drive a 10 year old car but want a Ferrari, not only will you never get the Ferrari, you probably won't get a new car at all. A year after you buy your new car, a later model will appear. You will never have all that you want. Sure, try and make your dreams come true, but never forget all the good you have going on in your life already. For every one person with a car better than yours, there are then without a car at all!

- When things go bad, don't hide from the world. Everyone has been through tough times. People need people and friends will always make you feel better. Your friends will have their own problems, but why is it they are not avoiding the world? What is it they have that you don't? Could it be a positive outlook on life?

- Take pride in your appearance and your surroundings. If you don't keep yourself in shape and take pride in your appearance, you are conveying that you are not important as the rest of the world. And you are conveying this not just to others but to yourself and soon you will start to accept it as a fact of life. No matter how bad things are for you, things are going to improve one day. When they do, do you want to be there as a self confessed failure or a person who has been through the bad and is now ready to accept the good? You are important as you feel you are and as good as you look. The same applies to your home and office. If you live and work in a place that exudes an atmosphere of unhappiness, you are building walls around you to keep the happiness out. Being positive is not easy. But no matter how bad things are, its up to you to find reasons to be happy - they are always there as long as you have the desire to find them.