The Difference Between a Dream and a Fantasy

Some years ago, I was having this conversation with a friend, Michelle, about pursuing dreams. I remember telling her that everyone should have a dream and seek to do whatever it takes (legally, morally and ethically) to achieve it in order to lead a fulfilling life.

However, Michelle had a different view. She didn't think that it was possible for her to realise her dream.

So I asked her, "What's your dream?"

Her reply was, "I've always dream of becoming an astronaut. But I seriously do not think I'm able to achieve that now."

I was quite surprised with her reply. I mean, how often do you come across someone whose dream is to become an astronaut? That's pretty unusual.

Upon hearing her reply, in my mind, I was thinking, "Hmmm... That's a tough one."

I didn't know what it takes to be an astronaut. I didn't know what kind of qualifications it requires. I didn't know what kind of training a person needs to go through and how long it takes that person from being a trainee to finally being qualified to travel to outer space.

I didn't know how to advise her, and I didn't know how to encourage her.

At that moment, a cloud of doubt appeared over my head. For a while, I began to question my initial notion that everyone should have a dream and that he/she should pursue it relentlessly. I questioned its feasibility. But I kept thinking about it even after I went home. I refused to acknowledge that it's not possible for someone in our society, a society of abundance, to fulfil his/her dream. For days, I thought long and hard about this issue. I refused to give up.

Then one day, I realised something.

I realised that there's been confusion between what's a dream and what's a fantasy.

A fantasy is a good-to-have, while a dream is a must-have.

It then dawned on me that what a lot of people actually have is a fantasy, rather than a dream.

I've come across a lot of people who have a list of "dreams". But they never set out to work toward achieving them. They didn't even bother to find out how to go about achieving them, let alone work. Personally, I have a dream. My dream is to become a successful entrepreneur running a successful multi-million dollar business. So I know what it's really like to have a dream. To me, it's a must-have, not a good-to-have. Part of this dream is to be doing something I enjoy doing, which is running a business I'm passionate about. It's a must-have for me.

When it's a must-have, you'll be able to see, smell and feel it vividly in your mind. And when it's a must-have, you'll eat, sleep and shit thinking about it. That's what I literally do! And when it's a must-have, you'll go all out to find out everything you can about how to achieve your dream. I read a lot of books and attend a lot of workshops/seminars. And when it's a must-have, you'll believe that it's the only thing you'll ever do in your life and you simply can't imagine yourself doing anything else. And when it's a must-have, you'll do whatever it takes to achieve it. Do it legally, morally and ethically though. These are the things that will come very naturally if it's truly your dream.

That's what a dream is.

What my friend, Michelle, had was just a fantasy. She didn't know anything about astronomy or astronautics or anything in relation to the field. She didn't eat, sleep and shit thinking about travelling to outer space and performing tasks on another planet. A fantasy is something you won't actively take any actions to achieve. Therefore, you won't achieve. It will only remain something you fantasise about. It will only remain in your head. It won't turn into a reality. For example, 99 per cent of the guys fantasise about a threesome. But that doesn't mean they'd actively seek to engage in one because ultimately, it's not a must-have, but simply a good-to-have. It remains a fantasy.

So if you think you have a dream right now, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Can you see, smell and feel it vividly in your mind?

2. Do you eat, sleep and shit thinking about it?

3. Do you scour every resource that can help you accomplish your dream?

4. Would you do whatever it takes to achieve it?

5. Can you imagine yourself doing anything else apart from that of your dream?

If you answer no to any of the first four questions and a yes to the last question, then what you have in mind is not a dream. It's merely a fantasy.

Keep searching until you find something, which you will answer yes to all the first four questions and a no to the last question. Only then would you have found your dream.