The Real Reason You Have Fear

Copyright (c) 2008 Elizabeth Davis

I've been thinking about this question a lot lately: "What's the REAL reason we have fear?" Why? Because I've been having more fear than usual. Why? I'm doing things that are new in my business and thus, I'm in unfamiliar territory. You've probably heard these explanations for the root of your fear more than once:

* You're out of your comfort zone

* You need more information

* You fear the unknown

* You lack courage

* You lack focus

* You lack self-confidence

And that's just a short list! While all of those reasons are potentially valid depending upon the situation, I'd like to dig a little deeper, using your fingerprints as our map through fear. Your fingerprints reveal several aspects of your soul, and one of those aspects is your Life Lesson. Your Life Lesson is your blind spot, your gremlin, your nemesis, your "negative tapes." Your Life Lesson could be one or a combination of these issues:

* panic caused by a life out of balance (everything is an *emergency*)

* anxiety making decisions

* not expressing your authentic feelings due to the perceived expectations of others

* sacrificing yourself into burdensome obligation

* lack of clarity about your definition of success

* challenges owning your power in the world

* challenges managing your energy, time and money

* challenges expressing your creativity

* challenges speaking up for your self

* challenges with your family and community (on a life scale)

* challenges finding your passion and dealing with victimization, shame and numbness

* challenges finding your niche due to guilt ("If I succeed, it takes away from others." THAT kind of guilt)

* paralyzing fear of rejection

* trust/surrender/intimacy issues with anything: other people, food, money, etc.

If you look at the above list, are there one or two Life Lessons that really stand out for you? My Life Lesson is "not expressing my authentic feelings due to the perceived expectations of others." Sooooo... now I'm doing new and different things with my business - and what do I fear? You guessed it! I fear what other people think and feel about me. (I recognize I have no control over what others think and feel about me. But it doesn't make my lesson any less painful for the knowing.) If you follow any fear to its natural conclusion, the fear is a painful outcome - humiliation, shame, excommunication, torture, fire, starvation, annihilation, etc. You think I'm kidding? I'm not kidding. THAT'S why we get so afraid about making that important phone call, closing the sale, standing up to our mother or father or our children.

Our Life Lesson is the surface issue that trips us up - it acts, amazingly enough, as a PROTECTION mechanism. What lies below that surface issue is our fear of not surviving. Fear lives in our mid-brain or *reptile brain* and it runs on instinct. All our crocodile brain knows is that if you step into the "Life Lesson Zone," something scary is going to happen.

And then the drama begins. You get distracted, you procrastinate, you have no money, you have no time... The drama is the crocodile brain's way of keeping you from FACING your Life Lesson and hence, learning it. By not facing the Life Lesson, our crocodile brain achieves ITS goal of keeping us stuck. When we learn our Life Lesson, we actualize our Life Purpose.