Twitter Fights - A New Medium for Celebrity Self-Sabotage

Copyright (c) 2009 Valery Satterwhite

HA!

That's often my first reaction when I open up the daily Calendar Section in the Los Angeles Times in the wee dark hours of each morning. This Monday morning's edition was no exception. Matea Gold reports that celebrities are taking their egoist rants about each other to the public stage and often rue the day they ever discovered Twitter. No longer do we need the paparazzi to hide in the bushes hoping to get a shot of celebrity self-sabotage. Superstars and those seeking superstardom have now cut out the middle man and publicize their own misguided emotional reactions to the events of their daily life. And they're getting quite good at self-destruction within 140 characters or less!

The latest celebrity feud to emerge out of the Twittersphere is the battle between Perez Hilton and Demi Moore. The two are duke-ing it out on Twitter over two posts by Hilton about Tallulah Willis' wardrobe. Perez thinks it's inappropriate for a 15-year old and showed photos to illustrate his point. Moore vigorously came to her daughter's defense claiming Perez is violating child pornography laws. Perez attacks Moore personally with a barb about menopause and Moore pushes Hilton again on his inappropriate exploitation of underage tushies threatening legal action. The spat goes on from there. The article shines light on other outbursts on the Twitter stage from Kirstie Alley, Ryan Seacrest, Mark Cuban and others.

What makes for an entertainment today, whether it be in the LA Times, Twitter, TMZ, Access Hollywood or any other media that follows the celebrity life is often a spotlight on a star acting badly. If the behavior leads to a personal train wreck, all the better. Why is that? Why do stars publicly act out and why does the public love to see it? Why do they jeopardize their public image with these public outbursts and temper tantrums?

Ego.

Self-destructive behavior of any kind by anyone is rooted in the ego defending itself against threat usually based in some sort of feeling of being victimized, being made "less than". Perez Hilton has his power to embarrass and publicly humiliate celebrities because these very same celebrities, including Demi Moore, and the general public gave it to him. Moore added force to Perez's power by giving his Tweet more energy and distribution with her response saying that he does not take violating child pornography laws very seriously. Perez responds to this a by attacking back with personal insult.

Events in and of themselves hold no power. A tushie shot is a tushie shot. Period. What a person has an event mean is what fuels the reaction, that will result in a good or bad outcome. Having a tushie shot taken in a public place mean that Perez Hilton supports child pornography is of Moore's own creation. Perez having Moore's response mean that she is menopausal, needs medication and lessons in parenting is all of his own creation. None of these meanings are true. These attached meanings and assumptions that are given to events are the fabrication of the ego to make itself feel better, to feel less victimized.

Truth is, you are a victim to no one and no thing unless you allow yourself to be. If Demi viewed the photo of her daughter as just a shot of yet another young girl wearing short shorts instead of child pornography involving her daughter there would be no power in Hilton's Tweet. If Demi didn't like Tallulah's butt hanging out of her shorts she could have addressed the wardrobe issue with her daughter, in private. Instead, there are now threats of a law suit that will also give more steam, energy and attention to the story and to the continued publication of the young tushie.

If Perez took Demi's reaction to the Tweet as that of a protective parent rather than a personal accusation that he is a child pornographer his ego would not rise to personally attack Demi Moore to hurt or embarrass her rather than have anything to do with the photo itself. There would be no pending lawsuit, no more energy given to the dispute. That would also mean that Perez would pass on an opportunity to engage a celebrity in a public fight that only he can win. Whether Perez is right or not is irrelevant. His ratings, viewership, will rise no matter what outcome results. Perez wins because the public's ego loves to see rich and famous celebrities acting badly to feed their own egos, feelings of inferiority, and to boost their own self-esteem. "See, these superstar people aren't any better than me!"

The minute you think any one or any thing (the economy, the glass ceiling, etc.) has power over you, you become its victim. Most often, people are the victim of their own ego, their own Inner Critic. Guess what, your Inner Critic lies! When you get that fearful, panicky, blood-boiling, feeling inside and you react from that state know that you are following the lead of your frighten Inner Critic who is misguidedly fighting for your own sense of self-worth. When you are should-ing all over someone or judging (telling others that they should do or be this or that), your ego has your power. You are no longer in control. Whenever you act in the state of an empowered ego you will not achieve the outcome you desire. All you can do is add 'evidence' to support your feelings of being victimized.

A teenage butt peeking out of short shorts on a public street is not child pornography and Moore's reaction is not the result of hormone imbalances or bad parenting. What is being fought over is a bunch of made up stuff by the very people who are feuding in the public arena.

To turn self-destructive behavior into life-affirming behavior just wake up! Wake up to how you feel. Your emotions are indicators of whether you are listening to that higher power within you, what I playfully call the Inner Wizard, or that frightened four-year old, the Inner Critic, who is having a temper tantrum. In that moment, mindfully monitor your thoughts. Are you giving up your power, allowing yourself to become a victim of the incident? If you are, reach for a new perspective. Take action that will result in what you want to achieve, no more publicized daughter's tushie shots, instead of what you do not want to achieve, more daughter butt shots spread over even more media outlets.

And to those who salivate over celebrity self-sabotage, take note over what you have the public outburst mean about you. If you feel better about yourself, more superior, as a result of someone else's bad behavior, know that you have given your power of personal self-esteem over to the celebrity and to those who report the irrational antics of these stars.