Alexis Martin Neely is America's Personal Family Lawyer, author of the bestselling book "Wear Clean Underwear! A Fast, Fun, Friendly - and Essential - Guide to Legal Planning for Busy Parents" and the nation's leading legal expert guiding you to smart financial and legal decisions for your family. Subscribe to Alexis' free online magazine, Family Wealth Secrets, and have wealth advice delivered right to your inbox each week.
We've all heard the quote, "It takes a village to raise a child." Today, I'm presenting to you the idea that it not only takes a village to raise a child, but also to nurture and empower a successful, satisfied and happy adult.
Whether you seek material wealth, emotional wealth or spiritual wealth, you must learn to foster and embrace your own support community to reach the highest of heights on your journey through life.
The word "community" may look or feel differently for each person reading this article depending on your individual goals, but the fact remains that regardless of what it looks like, we each need a support system to help us when we are overwhelmed, uplift us when we are down, lend a word of wisdom when we are attempting to choose our path and rejoice with us—even over the little things - if we want to experience true wealth in every area of life.
The reciprocal is true in that we must also learn to meet the needs of others who can't achieve their life's purpose unless we step up and become part of their vital community.
One of the greatest gifts that this "economic crisis" has given us is a new paradigm of community living and support. We are finally recognizing that we cannot do it alone. Community and collaboration are the order of the day.
You will either learn to live in and create community or find yourself falling behind. With that in mind, I present several tenets of creating community.
- Open-Hearted Boundaries Clearly Communicated - Direct, Honest, Straightforward Communication - Take Personal Responsibility for Your Own Feelings - Give Everyone the Benefit of the Doubt - Don't Take Anything Personally
Over the weeks to come, we will delve into each of these tenets much more deeply, but between now and then I ask you to watch for these opportunities in your own life. Make a mental note of where you are allowing your boundaries to be crossed, not communicating directly or blaming others for your feelings, and where you are jumping to conclusions or taking things personally.
There is no action to take now other than awareness.
Do you take things personally that may have nothing to do with you? Do you avoid deep relationships because of your pre-conceived notions about the way things "should" be? Or maybe you're a people-pleaser and struggle to engage in direct, honest and straightforward communication because you are afraid to hurt someone's feelings?
All of these attributes will directly affect your ability to foster a core network of community and will have a direct negative impact on your overall wealth.
For now, simply become aware. There's nothing to do other than notice.
Next week, we'll cover what to do with those observations and how to create the support system necessary to have the deep and fulfilling life you really want and deep down know is possible.
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