Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host lover's romantic weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations. For more info Visit www.tantra-sex.com, www.sexyspiritualrelationships.com and their blog www.askaboutloveandsex.com or send email: 4freedoms@tantraloving.com
Touch Me Like This
Time for Exercise: 20 minutes to several hours
Properties Required: water, oil, or silicone lubricants and sex toys (optional)
Steps:
- Invite your lover to an erotic demonstration of some ways you would like to be touched sexually.
- Set a time frame or leave time open-ended and see what develops.
- Be specific in showing and telling your lover what you want. Experiment with using proper anatomical names for body parts (e.g., vulva, vagina, penis, perineum) and exotic Eastern terms (e.g., lingam and yoni, jewel and lotus, jade stalk and cinnabar gate) as well as slang terms (e.g., prick and pussy) and your own playful names (e.g., dashing warrior and juicy peach blossom). Use words that turn you on and are clearly understandable for your partner.
- In addition to naming the part to be touched, you can also give the process, technique, movement, and so on a name. Use one you have found in a book or video, or one you make up, e.g., the “corkscrew” for manually stimulating the penis or “feather touch” for stroking the inside of a woman’s thighs.
- Give specific instructions for direction, speed, and pressure. Examples: clockwise, counterclockwise, circular, up and down, in and out; slow, agonizingly slow, slow with stops, fast, very fast; and light, feather light, almost not touching, firm, hard, bruising.
Variations:
- Take turns showing each other how you like to be touched.
- Demonstrate how you prefer to use lubricants and sex toys, such as dildos, anal plugs, anal beads, vibrators.
Comments:
Be sure you both understand this is a playful activity that has nothing to do with judgment or control. It is about adding variety and stimulating your lover’s creativity. Showing your lover how you want to be touched does not mean that you do not like the way you are touched now. This exercise also develops a common vocabulary to help you describe body parts and touch techniques, making it much easier to communicate effectively in a playful, non-threatening way during lovemaking.
Excerpted from our new book Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms of Body, Mind, Heart and Soul, by Al Link and Pala Copeland, Llewellyn, 2007
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A
- Pagan Sex - Sexual Positons That Work
- Teen Sex Awareness - Losing Your Virginity - Should the “boy or Girl” Make the First Move?
- Sexual Harassment Policy Guidelines Part I
- Sexual Healing and Ecstasy - Beyond Sensate Focus
- Sexual Massage 101
- The Impact of Obesity on Sexuality
- Sex, Sex Toys and Historical Facts
- Inside the Erotic World of Sex Hypnosis or HypnoErotica Video and Audio Downloads for Couples!
How Can I Stop Premature Ejeculation Fast?
By: michael | 19/12/2009Just slow down the speed of your thrust action. Also alter the depth of your strokes, to make the penetration less intense
STOP Premature Ejeculation Use The Triple S Method To Last Longer Having Sex
By: michael | 19/12/2009When theyre back to normal, initiate penetration again. Keep going until youre getting close to the edge
Cure Premature Ejeculation TODAY Use The Triple S Method To Cure Premature Ejeculation
By: michael | 19/12/2009The key to solving the dilemma is taking action before the process just described can complete itself. Heres how. Start having sex as normal. Carry on until you feel your stimulation levels growing to a point at which you know theyre becoming unmanageable.
How To Cure Your Premature Ejeculation NOW
By: michael | 19/12/2009It doesnt make a difference if this is 30 seconds or 3 minutes after you applied the first S.
Cure For Premature Ejeculation-Use The Triple S Method To Fix Premature Ejeculation
By: michael | 19/12/2009When you have sex with your partner, it starts out fine. Youre enjoying it and able to control your stimulation levels. However, as you continue, your stimulation levels grow quicklyand start to get out of hand. In the end, they get too high and make you ejaculate too quickly.
Premature Ejeculation-Use The Triple S Technique And Cure Your Premature Ejeculation
By: michael | 19/12/2009The higher your preference is on that list, the worse your drawback with premature ejeculation is.
Sexual Attraction Secrets - How to Get Past Square One
By: Chris Tyler | 19/12/2009Being able to heighten things with a woman is a stumbling block for a lot of guys. Escalating things beyond a platonic stage and into a more romantic tone is essential if you want to date and get intimate with a woman. However, the lack of knowledge on what to do in this area can seriously impede your success with women. So, what should you do? Should you just try and figure out things on your own?
How to Get Intimate With a Woman
By: Chris Tyler | 19/12/2009As a man, you have the natural desire to try and get intimate with a woman. We all know that attracting a woman sexually is not exactly something that you can just say and then be done with it. You have to work at building sexual attraction with a woman. And you have to make sure that you are able to make her feel comfortable and aroused in the process.
Passionate Detachment - Soul Freedom
By: Al Link and Pala Copeland | 17/12/2009 | RelationshipsPassion acts with great enthusiasm, extraordinary intensity, and deep feelings. Detachment lets go of all concern for the results of the action. Upon first consideration, it might seem as if passion and detachment don't belong together.
Mind Freedom Exercise - Flexible Thinking
By: Al Link and Pala Copeland | 15/12/2009 | Self ImprovementYou have the power over what you think about. You also have the power over how you think about what you think about.
Men In Relationship - Heart Freedom
By: Al Link and Pala Copeland | 07/12/2009 | RelationshipsHow well do you really know each other? How much do you take each other for granted?
Men In Relationship - Heart Freedom
By: Al Link and Pala Copeland | 04/12/2009 | RelationshipsMany men are reluctant to embrace relationships but relationships are the marquee event in the Olympics of Life. Winning the gold medal in relationships is as good as it gets in this world.
Sensual Nutrition - Body Freedom
By: Al Link and Pala Copeland | 01/12/2009 | Self ImprovementYour body is a remarkable gift from the Creator, a vehicle through which the spiritual can experience the material; that is what a body is for. As spirit in physical form, you can celebrate and explore the sensory joys of this gift.
Body Freedom Exercise - Yummy Yoni (For Women)
By: Al Link and Pala Copeland | 28/11/2009 | SexualityWomen are often taught, subliminally or overtly, that their genitals are smelly, dirty, and ugly. This exercise will help you see the power and the glory in your beautiful yoni (Sanskrit for vagina or vulva).
Body Freedom Exercise - Games Galore
By: Al Link and Pala Copeland | 26/11/2009 | RelationshipsLeave notes around the house with messages leading your lover from place to place, ending at a spot where you are waiting and ready to make love.
Body Freedom Exercise - Body Gazing
By: Al Link and Pala Copeland | 19/11/2009 | RelationshipsThe commercial media encourage you to see your body as an ongoing renovation project—one that will never be completed and can never quite conform to the ideal type, no matter what you do. As a result, too many people are unhappy with their bodies, seeing them as too short or tall, too fat or thin, and the wrong color, size, or shape.