How a woman can enjoy sex play

In the novelty of a new sexual relationship, I have explored a variety of sexual activities with a partner. So, in addition to vaginal intercourse missionary style, in the early days we tried oral sex, clitoral stimulation and different positions for intercourse.

I enjoyed the role of the prostitute, giving pleasure to my man, but I never experienced the sexual arousal required for orgasm. The sensations from oral sex were too vague and my clitoris was too sensitive for my partner to be able to stimulate me manually.

For many years, our sex life settled into the usual marital rut of nothing more than vaginal intercourse to male orgasm. It was the easiest way to provide my partner with some sexual relief and involved me in minimal sexual effort.

Once we had children, we would occasionally get away for weekends. These opportunities, plus holidays (with childcare) where we had more time for sex, meant that my partner could spend time masturbating me (from behind) before having intercourse.

I took the contraceptive pill from the age of eighteen until my partner had a vasectomy after the birth of our third child. Around this time, approximately aged 35, I found that vaginal intercourse became much more comfortable and sensual.

I'll never know whether this effect was age related or the result of coming off the pill. I found that from time to time my body felt more sensual and aroused. As a young woman I was never aware of any sense of physical arousal. Later my mind has become more tuned into eroticism and I can feel my genital area throbbing with excitement.

So every few weeks I become positively engaged on the idea of sexual activity. I wish it were more often but there it is. I guess we just have to be grateful for what we have. I get a lot more out of sex when I am in this state of being psychologically aroused.

Naughtier than vaginal intercourse

When I am feeling aroused, I look forward to sex sessions with my partner. Sometimes we watch a porn movie in the living room. We put a waterproof sheet and large towel over the ottoman. I kneel down and bend over the ottoman.

My partner sits behind with a good view up between my legs from behind. He has control of the baby oil and lube. While we are watching the movie he penetrates me from behind with fingers and penis. I fast forward to the bits of the movie that I like.

Other times we have sex on the bed. As always, we use a waterproof sheet, large towel and lots of lube. We make sure the lights are low so that I can focus fully on the sensations of my partner stimulating me.

We keep a bag of sex toys. Sometimes my partner uses a vibrator to penetrate my vagina while his penis penetrates my anus. Other times he uses a butt plug in my anus while he penetrates my vagina. Always he stimulates my clitoris from behind.

The modern male lover needs to be a bit of an octopus to do all of this simultaneously but never mind... Depending on my levels of arousal, I feel different sensations from sex with a partner. Basically, the more turned on I am the better the feelings.

Vaginal fisting where my partner penetrates my vagina with all the fingers of one hand, sometimes the whole hand, can give me amazing feelings. When his fingers thrust gently backwards and forwards, I am overwhelmed with waves of physical arousal.

Anal sex, usually starting with finger penetration, but usually ending with penile penetration has always been arousing for me. Sometimes we start a sex session with a shower and my partner gives me an enema.

It's vital to take things slowly and start only with finger penetration. If a woman ends up sore from anal sex, then she will need time to heal up physically but she will also have negative connotations that will put her off trying again.

This is the difficult part for a man. You need to be ready to slow down and even to stop anal sex if the woman is not enjoying it. The woman needs to accept that it is counterproductive to be the martyr here. Keep it fun and arousing!