How Soon Is Too Soon?

This is a question that many women and men ask themselves when it comes to dating and sex. Is there a right or wrong time to start having sex with someone that you are dating? Of course, this assumes that you plan to have sex before marriage. Unfortunately there is not a clear cut answer for everyone out there that is dating and looking forward to having sex.

Many of the "rule" books say that you shouldn't have sex for at least two weeks, others say one month, others three months. Which is right? The fact of the matter is that all of them are right and all of them are wrong. There are many men and women that can comfortably have sex after one night and others that wouldn't think of having sex after one year. The decision is a personal one and as long as you can follow your heart or at least your intuition you will probably do just fine.

Women especially worry that if they have sex too soon that a guy will consider them cheap or will no longer be interested. For most men this isn't the case unless they were just after sex in the first place. Men and women that are just after sex are fairly transparent and as long as both people are after the same thing there is no harm in that. Of course, this is where being an adult comes into play. If you are under the impression that having sex is just sex and nothing more you should probably be able to say so. If you feel as though sex is indicative of more than just physical attraction, you should be able to say that, as well. If you can't say that, you might want to think about whether you should be having sex with the person you are laying in bed with, anyway.

Sex is a funny thing because it means different things to different people. Many try to say that sex is one thing to men and another thing entirely to women, but that isn't really true. Most people have different ideas about what sex may or may not mean, and only you can determine what your belief system is around it. Some people are perfectly capable of having casual sex with one partner and then having very loving sex with another later on down the road.

The bottom line is that there is no right or wrong time to start having sex. If you are feeling it and you believe that the person feels it for the same reason that you do, then why not? If you aren't seeing eye to eye on the reason behind having sex than you may want to hold off. What works for one person may not work for you, so figure out your own belief system around sex or at least deal with it on a case by case basis.