Kathleen Falken has participated in psychic research, dreamstudy, marriage counseling and the practice of psychology for almost 40 years. See more of her articles at WUVING.com www.wuving.com
It's a given in the dating scene that women naturally align themselves with guys who occupy a higher place on the proverbial food chain. These guys are typically referred to as the ALPHA MALES.
This type of man is looked up to by many, and all the women in the immediate area are irresistibly drawn to him. What's ironic is that your veritable "top dog" doesn't necessarily have the looks of a celebrity, the body of a weightlifter, or the wealth of a CEO.
In fact, lots of materially and politically potent men don't have the slightest clue to generating genuine and lasting attraction. Women might think they'll fall for a good -looking guy, but keeping her around takes MORE than that.
As relationship expert Mirabelle Summers, author of MEET YOUR SWEET, says, "To have outrageous success with women, you'll need to speak their language. But it takes the right material to educate you on such a cryptic matter. After you've deciphered the inner workings of the female mind, you'll totally light up her attraction circuitry right under her radar."
What attracts women to men? Let's go over some of the things that will make you more than just an insignificant blip in a woman's consciousness...
>> Talking the talk...
Your voice is a powerful tool you can use to make women putty in your hands. Think about it - a well-modulated manner of speaking is absolute dynamite to women.
While not of all of us are gifted with a deep set of vocal cords, you can still pull this off. You just have to avoid making some key mistakes that could undo your game.
It's a common tendency to speak in a wimpy, high-pitched voice when we're nervous or flustered. As a result, you'll sound girly, and lack confidence.
MAJOR TURN-OFF!
Don't let your voice betray your nervousness. Practice with the way you talk so you don't give away that you're not as collected as you seem.
Here's a suggestion: get accustomed to controlling your voice through some daily exercises you can repeat several times. Stop pulling your voice out of your throat; instead, make it register deep down in your gut.
Pushing your voice out from the abdominal area adds power. But don't try speaking in this manner right off the bat. Do some humming or even singing exercises so that the sound you produce comes from your diaphragm.
Get used to speaking properly all the time until you're no longer "faking it". As such, having a pleasant voice will become a natural part of your personality and sexuality. Ultimately, you'll feel more confident in the fact that your deep, evenly paced and masculine voice will greatly affect someone's reactions, specifically with the ladies.
>> Walking The Walk...
Of course, your voice should also match the way you move. Body language is a huge, make-or-break factor that will INSTANTLY tell a woman what kind of guy you are.
Is an alpha male fidgety? Does nervous energy manifest strong leadership qualities?
Definitely NOT. A high-value guy sets himself apart by using his body to express his winning attitude.
He's relaxed and at ease, but never leans into anyone's active space. In the same way, a PUA would automatically blow his approach if he ever leaned into a woman's "territorial bubble" because that signifies that he's out to impress her. That's not how an alpha male rolls.
Think about how it looks from her perspective. You're waiting for what she has to say, and your voice is too weak that you have to lean towards her just to be heard. That's hardly the mark of a high-value male.
If anything, you should stand with your feet at shoulder length apart. Not too wide that you look overly cocky, but not too close that you seem sorry for the space you're occupying.
As our mothers, teachers and countless figures of authority have told us in the past, slouching is for losers. A weak, rounded posture will cause "WIMP" to be written all over you.
Also, make large, sweeping movements that appear natural, as opposed to quick gestures that make it look like you're living in a stop-motion animation TV show (watch "Gumby" to see what I mean).
This also applies to the way you walk, which should be SMOOTH and evenly paced. Let your arms swing slightly, and don't allow them to flail around.
Alpha Male Stylin' 101...
Hygiene and fashion form another important aspect of maintaining your social value. Essentially, what women want is a guy who's MATURE enough to groom and dress like a confident man.
Self-respecting women won't bother wasting any time with a man who doesn't pay attention to DETAILS. For example, if you had poorly managed teeth or reeked of body odor, do you think she'll want to know what the rest of you is like?
Don't think that any guy is the exception to good grooming and dressing sensibly. No man is going to land a real relationship if he places himself above this simple dating prerequisite.
Even if you're interesting, witty, and have a great sense of humor, a woman can't appreciate all of that under a nasty exterior of unkempt and unwashed hair, or if you dress like a post-apocalyptic refugee.
The overall way you present yourself is what matters here. Don't let a horrid sense of hygiene and style get in the way of meeting the dolled-up, sweet smelling women that attract you.
It's only fair that you meet them halfway. It's not like you'd be interested to go out with someone who was too lazy to brush her teeth, shower or shave her legs, am I right?
So make it a habit to be always meticulously CLEAN. If you ever want a beautiful woman to snuggle up against your body, you're gonna have to make that EFFORT.
Here's a basic, top-to-toe list of things to watch out for:
- Consult with a reputable stylist on which hairstyle suits you in terms of age and body frame. He/she will be able to figure out if you're better off growing out your hair, or if the clean-cut look is more appropriate.
- A dentist can clean your teeth and advise you on best dental practices to keep your smile looking bright. Also, don't forget to brush after every meal, floss often and use mouthwash.
- Moisturize on a daily basis. I understand that there are many guys out there that think moisturizing is the first step on a slippery slope to femininity, but trust me, women like guys that look after their skin. If you are around the same age as her, it pays to look like her boyfriend rather than her father. A guy that looks after his assets is one that is going to continue to look good as he gets older, rather than looking worn down and weather-beaten.
- Bathe once or twice a day at the very least. There's no excuse for smelling bad, so pay attention to the areas that need adequate washing. Use a good deodorant, and if necessary, keep a spray deodorant in your car or work bag for times when you need a little freshen up. Like I said, a woman won't be enticed to get in close proximity with someone who doesn't smell good.
- Get a friend to give you an unbiased opinion on the kind of clothes that will suit your body type. Have him or her check out the stuff in your closet to figure out which clothes you can keep in active duty or retire permanently. If that's not an option, drop by a decent clothing store and have the staff guide you on which shirts, belts, pants and shoes will match you. A few basics that you can mix and match will set your wardrobe up really well, and enable you to mix new pieces with some of the older stuff you have saved. It may set you back a few hundred bucks, but you'll thank yourself for doing it later on.
- Lastly, get off your ass and get some exercise. You don't have to look like Dr. Manhattan from "Watchmen", but you should at least show the world you're making an effort to maintain your body and keep fit. Knowing that you're taking care of yourself can greatly boost your self-confidence, lift your spirits, and help keep things in place. Not only will you look good, you will feel good! While fitness clubs are ok, try signing up for places that are fairly populated. Not only will you keep fit, you can also enhance your social skills by interacting with the fellow patrons (which include women, of course!).
See more relationship advices at Kathleenfalken.com or go to WUVING.com .
WUVING.com is loaded with tips and articles from the top experts in relationships. Among them, are Michael Webb of OPRAH SHOW fame, whose articles have appeared in over 50 magazines such as Redbook and Woman's World. And Mirabelle Summers, author of MEET YOUR SWEET, who says, "discover what it really takes to achieve powerful transformations in your approach to attraction and relationships."
And the people you can immediately reach are "men and women found locally and worldwide."
What WUVING.com has done is specialize in individual needs of people looking for real love and romance. You can meet people in our military, singles, people of all sizes and races -- in other words -- real people! Check out http://www.wuving.com
-Kathleen Falken
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