Most Women Are Not Aiming For Orgasm Through Genital Stimulation

Women like to refer to sex as 'making love' because it indicates that their motives are loving rather than explicitly sexual.

Modern expectations may cause some women to talk about their sexual experiences in terms of arousal and orgasm. But many others interpret sex as a loving act without needing to talk about orgasm at all.

Other women knowingly fake orgasm but there is almost a sense of bravado associated with faking. We assume that women only fake part of the time or are sexually experienced enough to know how to fake.

The resulting confusion leads many people to believe that women should orgasm during sex despite the known fact that vaginal intercourse provides insufficient clitoral stimulation for female orgasm.

As in the fable 'The Emperor's New Clothes' it takes great courage to question 'truths' that the majority consider indisputable. Any woman brave enough to question is labelled 'sexually dysfunctional' and this humiliation alone is enough to silence most people.

Women who question are confident of their experience of orgasm from masturbation. Sadly the majority of women do not understand this interest in orgasm though genital stimulation, which is more readily associated with men and with gay women.

Vaginal intercourse was never intended to lead to female orgasm

The misunderstanding of the sexual revolution was to assume that just because female orgasm exists as a possibility that it must occur during the key heterosexual love-making act - vaginal intercourse.

Vaginal intercourse is an act intended to effect reproduction whereby the male impregnates the female. Male orgasm (since it usually involves ejaculation of sperm) is required for reproduction but female orgasm has no role in reproduction. Therefore women do not need to be as sexually driven as men nor do they need to become aroused or to reach orgasm as easily as men.

Relatively few women masturbate but, even if they do, sex does not naturally provide women with the sexual arousal that causes genital stimulation to be effective. So although men and lesbian women use genital stimulation (of the penis/clitoris respectively) to reach orgasm, heterosexual women claim to orgasm during sex without any clitoral stimulation whatsoever.

Some women are motivated to explore their sexuality and do discover orgasm. However, there is no reason for Nature to ensure that this experience of female orgasm occurs during sex with a partner.

Since women's sexual arousal is not needed for reproduction, there is no natural phenomenon that causes female arousal. Some women make a conscious effort to become aroused but it does not happen spontaneously as it tends to with men. Women's use of fantasies may work well when masturbating alone but during sex, male orgasm needs to be centre stage.

Women's 'sex drive' is much more likely to revolve around ensuring the welfare of their children. Equally, their sense of their own sexuality or sensuality is much more likely to involve an ability to make themselves sexually attractive to men than to involve them actively seeking sex for the purposes of their own sexual arousal and orgasm.