Pleasuring a Woman

An erection might feel good but it is likely to be a disadvantage if a man wants to devote time to pleasuring a woman. After all, two minutes is a typical time given for a man to reach orgasm! A man can learn techniques for slowing down his orgasm by investing private time during masturbation.

<i>"Basically, a man needs about two or three minutes of stimulation to have an orgasm. It is generally a very simple process, as easy as shaking up a can of beer and then letting it pop! If a woman is to have an orgasm, she generally needs about ten times that amount of time. She needs twenty to thirty minutes of foreplay and stimulation of her genitals." (p63 Mars & Venus in the Bedroom 1995) </i>

There are various ways to spice up your sex life. Start your sex sessions with a quickie in the shower (get your partner to lather you and either masturbate or suck you off) and then retire to the bedroom to return the favour by investing some quality time in pleasuring your woman. The worst thing that might happen is that you could come a second time but there's no pressure!

Use of fingers and some back-up sex toys will ensure that you are never caught unprepared! If you invest in one accessory for your sex life (apart from condoms, of course, if required) then make it a professional lubricant from any decent sex shop. Foreplay techniques are useful but remember that women's sexual arousal relies on sexual fantasies.

If you're aiming for 'quality sex' then you need to invest in the activity. Once in a while make a special effort to bring some variety into your sex life. Here are some suggestions:

<ul><li>Make sure that you always offer some pleasure for your partner as well as for yourself. Have champagne by the bath. Spend some money on your sexual time together. Basically - live the fantasy! </li>
<li>Sex sessions with a partner that include a sensual massage can be relaxing and enjoyable for the woman even when orgasm is missing.</li>
<li>Try something new. Visit a sex shop! Then plan with your partner and introduce something new as a special occasion - anticipation helps! </li>
<li>Allow her some space for her orgasm even it that means being supportive of her time alone to enjoy her orgasm. It may make her more supportive of the times when you are the only one having the orgasm.</li></ul>

<i>"'You're a lousy lover!' she said. 'How can you tell that in two minutes?' he asked." (p116 Why men don't listen 1999) </i>

<b>Sexual arousal changes over time</b>
Intercourse is a gift that a man gives to a woman since she is completely dependent on his sexual arousal for this most intimate of sexual acts. But if you offer a woman intercourse from the first moment of a sexual encounter (or five seconds later), she will never feel that it would be nice to have.

<i>" ... by 50 as much as half the male population lacks the testosterone that would give them the kind of sex drive young men have early in the morning." (Duncan Gould and Richard Petty of the Well-Man Clinic London, The Times 24th March 2000).</i>

Some things do improve over time: just as men slow down and become slightly less preoccupied with their own need for orgasm, a woman's clitoris becomes slightly less sensitive so that her partner's touch is more effective. By investing in your sex life you can find that sex becomes more rewarding in long-term sexual relationships.

Women's sexual arousal is less automatic and so subject to more misunderstanding than men's. But if a woman learns how to enjoy her own sexual arousal and orgasm, it is more likely that she will be willing to invest in her sex life with a partner over the longer-term.

<i>"Men are frequently unaware that, though the source of a woman's pleasure may be the size of a peanut, it is armed with all the sensitivity of a six-inch penis. The degree of delicacy in approaching such a minute hand grenade can take years to get right. Until that time arrives, many women would rather read a good book." (p19 Bluffer's Guide to Women 1998)</i>