Sexual desire
Up until the 1950's, society believed that women only participated in sex either for the purposes of procreation or to satisfy their partner. There was shock and disbelief when Alfred Kinsey suggested that women might be capable of feeling sexual desire at all ('Sexual behavior in the human female' published 1953).
Unfortunately, although only a relatively small sample of women exhibited sexual desire, the popular message was that all women could potentially be as strongly driven by sex and orgasm as men are.
The sexual revolution that followed proposed that in a modern society where contraception is easily available, every sexually 'normal' woman should be able to enjoy orgasm during sex just as men do.
Women who did not find sex as easily pleasurable as men did were thought to be abnormal in some way, either 'inhibited' or even 'frigid' (terms never applied to men), thereby pressuring women to exaggerate both their sexual desire and their sexual arousal as well as to fake orgasm. Unfortunately, the sad fact of Nature is that sexual relationships favour male orgasm because female orgasm is not required for a woman to become pregnant.
Orgasm is not a critical element of female sexuality
Female sexuality means that orgasm is less of a driving force for women. When girls become women they learn that men's response to their body provides them with a tremendous advantage both in earning easy admiration and in their relationships with the opposite sex. In the film 'Dangerous Liaisons' Glenn Close asserts that sex involves women using their sexuality in order to manipulate men.
Women's advantage comes from the fact that men need sex so intensely whereas women do not need sex at all. This power causes resentment between women because those who pander to men's sexual fantasies are seen to be capitalising on this male vulnerability and thereby often threatening the stability of marriage and family.
" ... the majority of women do not experience orgasm regularly as a result of intercourse" (p35 The Hite Reports 1993)
Men's sexual arousal is usually easy and, since men hope a lover will enhance their sexual arousal, women often have sex with men for reasons other than their own orgasm:
- In the shorter term, a woman can find sex fun and even exhilarating without orgasm if she appreciates being able to excite a man sexually and if her ego is flattered by the sexual compliment
- In the longer term, a woman may find other life priorities (such as children) but she still needs to offer a mate enough sex to stop him wandering off with someone more amenable
Some women might hope for an adventurous sex life (or even for orgasm) but, luckily for all of us, most women do not approach their relationships with men demanding 'success' in their sex life. Since women have lower sexual desire they tend to settle for companionship, love and affection, which depend on knowing and liking a person.
(ArticlesBase SC #961507)
Article Tags:
orgasm during sex
,reach orgasm
,sexual desire
,female sexuality
,sexual arousal
,sexual fantasies
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Most women, sex experts or not, never learn to masturbate. Without the knowledge of how to achieve their own orgasm through masturbation, they never learn how their own sexual arousal works and that genital stimulation is required for orgasm as much for women as it is for men.
Women like to refer to sex as 'making love' because it indicates that their motives are loving rather than explicitly sexual. Modern expectations may cause some women to talk about their sexual experiences in terms of arousal and orgasm. But many others interpret sex as a loving act without needing to talk about orgasm at all.
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