Solidifying Ground Rules With Action Plans

If you're having trouble cementing agreements with your teen (who wouldn't), chances are you'll have to put the blame on the circumstance than on anything else. Your teen's raging hormones and angst get in the way of a meaningful conversation, which practically makes house and ground rules amount to twat.

If you are at a loss with your next move, maybe having things written down can help. Use an action plan, one which lays down the agreement in paper, and have it signed by both parties. This may seem more of a cold contract rather than a consensus for you, but it does help your teenager ascertain personal boundaries and responsibilities.

The action plan may include 'provisions' as varied as you wish, such as turns for taking out the garbage or doing the dishes to specific details on curfew or web-browsing limits. Since your teenager is probably more tech-savvy than you are, it is thus more important to set ground rules for using the web; teenagers spend a significant amount of their free hours surfing the web or engaging in online chats, that their privacy is endangered without their knowledge. Have them follow through with a written agreement which encourages them to use the web responsibly.

It is advisable that the agreement starts out with an affirmation of the duty and responsibilities of your teen; it should also state the positive consequences of following through on them. For web use, the statement may be along the lines of 'I commit to the following rules on using the web, not only to gain privileged use but also to keep my family and my personal safety secure'. This lets your teen know that he or she is an actual part of the agreement, not a mere signatory.

The consent should cover the basic details, primarily those which involve the disclosure of personal information online. Identity theft and fraud are easier on the internet than you think, so make sure that your teenager commits to refrain from providing full names, addresses, passwords and account numbers, and even phone numbers to anyone online, especially to those who are otherwise complete strangers.

You may also choose to include details concerning the content of the websites which your teen can access. These include those who have offensive or explicit content, or those which tend to breed hate and violence. Your teenager may also be tempted to browse sites which carry adult videos and similar content, though you may find it hard to do away with this tendency altogether you can at least minimize it.

Make sure that you know which websites which contain adult videos your teen browses, and censor those which contain adult videos that are too offensive even for an adult's discretion. And if your teenager spends too much time with online chats, remind him or her that the person on the other end can be a poser.

Have your teen commit to a provision, which prohibits him or her from meeting the person without your knowledge and permission. The action plan should be enforced on all applicable areas, including your home, the school, and web surfing shops; ensure that your child commits to it willingly as well, so as to keep his or her personal liberties intact.