Tricks Women Can Use to Make Having an Orgasm Easier

No it’s not that kind of trick.

Dr. Louanne C. Weston, a board certified sex therapist, explains that around 10 percent of women have never had an orgasm, either alone or with a partner. Some of these unfortunate ladies are smart enough to recognize the problem and seek a solution. The good news, according to Dr. Weston, is it is possible for a woman to learn to be orgasmic.

The most important thing a woman needs to know to make achieving an orgasm easier is to learn how to properly balance the amount of tension and relaxation during sex. You may be wondering how you can be both tense and relaxed at the same time.

The key thing to understand here is the difference between muscle tension and stress tension. Stress tension is the tightness in your neck, shoulders and sometimes your back caused by mental worries and life’s stresses. It is a good idea to relax and release the stress tension built up in your neck and shoulders with massage and relaxation exercises before sex. But trying to remain totally relaxed during sex will make having an orgasm difficult.

A woman needs a fair amount muscle tension to reach orgasm, especially when she is first learning how. Most women first learn to orgasm while tightening their leg, stomach and butt muscles. Once a woman learns to climax this way she will continue to need use these muscles to provide the tension she needs for orgasm until she learns a better and easier way.

The best orgasm inducing muscles for women to tense up are the muscles in her lower pelvic region. These are the same muscle used to stop the flow of urine. Developing conscience control of contracting or tensing these pelvic floor muscles makes getting the right amount of orgasm inducing muscle tension easy.

When the pelvic flour muscles are tensed or flexed the blood flow to the genitals increases. This not only increases a woman’s arousal, her increased awareness and control of these muscles heightens her sensitivity to sexual stimulation.

When a woman has correctly developed her pelvic floor muscles through regular pelvic exercise, using a pelvic exerciser such as the ezCOME (easy Clinical Orgasm Muscle Exerciser) not only can she consciously build the muscle tension and arousal needed to make her orgasm happen, she also enjoys greater unconscious pelvic muscle tension and contractions during sexual stimulation. Women with well developed pelvic floor muscle often enjoy many spontaneous orgasms during sex. This is a fact I can personally verify.

Here is where the right kind of relaxation is important. A woman needs to learn to relax her mind during sex. She needs to block out the mental distractions, like the ones that give her the neck and shoulder stress tension mentioned earlier, so she can focus on the sensations of sexual pleasure.

The best way to get rid of orgasm blocking stress is to replace it with sex positive images and words. For example as she is being stimulated (either by herself or a partner) she can picture in her mind a passionate or erotic scene from her favorite romance novel or movie with her and her lover in the leading roles.

She can first picture in her mind the scene as if she is watching from a distance and then mentally change her perspective and imagine she is experiencing it in person.

Or she can repeat the words “This feels really good” and “ I can take as long as I need” in her mind as she is stimulated.

These techniques keep the mind occupied with thoughts that encourage sexual arousal and enjoyment and keep out negative thoughts. Think of it as daydreaming about sex during sex so you can enjoy sex.

Once the distracting thoughts have been replaced with sex positive thoughts, pelvic floor muscle contractions are added. With practice most women can learn to tense their pelvic floor muscles and build sexual orgasmic tension while letting their minds go silent. They are then free to be in the moment with their partner as they build up to one or several orgasms.

The physical and mental exercises described help many women having difficulty with orgasm. A medical condition or medications can also interfere with a woman’s orgasm ability. Ask your doctor for more information about these.

The sex therapist designed ezCOME strengthens pelvic muscles and increases orgasms. It comes with a diet program designed to increase a woman’s libido and orgasms.