What to Do if Your Son Just Told You He's Gay

If you were beginning to wonder why you found a hidden stash of gay videos under your son's bed, the moment when he dishes out the news would surely dispel any doubts you may be swirling in your mind for some time. Your son has openly admitted to you that he is gay, and he said in such a calm manner, which leaves you unnerved otherwise.

Before you go into any violent reactions, be the first to admire your son's openness to the most significant person in his life. And remember that resentment only breeds the same; if you feel such nonetheless, handle it in a way that your son is not alienated with the gesture.

The breaking news may be given to you during a sit down, or he may have casually mentioned it over pizza - it doesn't matter. He may have known of your discovery of the gay videos, and are just making an effort to affirm your suspicion. If you feel that the world is crashing all around you, it shouldn't.

First of all, your son's sexuality is all about him, not all about you. Refrain from leading the flow of the discussion to your concerns and thoughts; focus on what your son has to say and hear him out.

Remember that there's a reason as to why son chose to tell you the news, even if he suspects that you wouldn't approve. Your son wants you to know because he wants you to accept him for who he is. And considering that your household may be run with such liberal policies, the mere fact that your son mustered up the courage to come out in front of you is truly a commendable effort.

Try to avoid the tendency of asking if your son is truly certain of his decision with being gay. First of all, the fact that he is coming out of the closet is an indication that he is indeed gay, and second, being gay is not a decision in itself; your son was probably as dumfounded as you are right now when he realized that he was indeed gay.

Research has shown that 'gayness' is a trait, which is realized by a gay person as soon as he understands his sexuality, and no one can choose to be gay in the same way that any person can choose to be straight.

Your son needs support, and be sure to give him just that. With such a revelation, the issue with the gay videos seems trifle in comparison.

Being gay is as challenging a lifestyle as it gets, and he needs all the love from people who matter the most. The fact that he chose to openly come out is good sign that he is willing to face the world as himself, not some person who has been dying to come out all these years.

Your job, as a parent, is to ensure that he made the right decision, and no matter what challenges may come, you are both willing to face it together.