Why is Sexual Pleasure So Controversial?
Self-evidently there are the 'responsible' aspects of sex as well as the 'pleasurable' but sexual ignorance is of no use to anyone.
Young women today are more likely to end up pregnant as a result of pressure from men or from idealised images of motherhood than from any hope to indulge in enjoying sexual pleasure. Allowing teenage girls to hope to enjoy their sexual relationships is an important part of giving women the confidence to stand up for what they want in life.
It may be that in the first instance, a woman's sex drive is more likely to involve a desire to enjoy family rather than orgasm. But female sexuality can encompass more than this reproductive capacity. Girls need information about how their sexual arousal works if they are to discover how to get the most out of a long-term sexual relationship.
In an ideal world, we would all be jumping up and down to know the top 10 tips for encouraging women to enjoy sexual pleasure with a partner. Unfortunately, many people fear that women always stand to be exploited through sex because men's sexual arousal and orgasm are so much more easily achieved. Thus sexual pleasure is more usually associated with women facilitating male gratification than with them enjoying their own arousal and orgasm.
'Joy of Sex' was one of the first books to promote the idea of the mutually enjoyable sexual relationship. One might have thought that a sex expert would be best qualified to present the 'ideal sex life' but the author was just an 'ordinary' member of the public. There was nothing 'ordinary' about Alex Comfort's sex life though. Indeed, such a sex life is a rarity for anyone, sex expert or not.
If you are fortunate enough to be a liberated couple, I'm sure that even you would struggle to incorporate the variety of sexual activities that Alex Comfort describes in his book on a regular basis. You are lucky because even today the vast majority of couples do not explore sex with the sense of adventure and total lack of inhibition depicted in 'Joy of Sex'.
Lack of understanding about female sexuality means that women are often reluctant to promote the clitoris, either through female masturbation or oral sex, to younger generations. This may explain the custom in some primitive African communities of the surgical removal of a young woman's clitoris (grossly mis-named 'female circumcision') by older women in the tribe.
Even though some women do explore sexual pleasure through genital stimulation, there is very little practical information passed on by more experienced women to enable younger women to learn how to go about transferring orgasm techniques from masturbation to sex with a partner.
A 'good' sex life involves more than sexual intercourse
Women can have a low expectation of sex because they lack knowledge about their bodies and their sexuality. Conversely, if women have the facts about the physical and psychological aspects of female sexuality: then at least they are in a position to make personal choices.
When I was in my twenties, I visited my doctor regularly for medication to relieve the discomfort that accompanied sexual intercourse. I accepted pain as part of my experience of sex because it was implicit that it was unfair to deprive my boyfriend of a sexual outlet. I also assumed that it was my personal failing that I could not naturally enjoy sex as my partner did.
A woman can accept a man's sexual attentions, regardless of her menstrual cycle. This provides women with more flexibility in attracting and keeping a mate. However, just because we are able to offer sexual intercourse does not mean that we have to. Unfortunately, it may be that men achieve the best sexual satisfaction from thrusting during penetrative sex simply because of the sexual biology.
Oral sex or mutual masturbation are both obvious solutions if they work for you. Otherwise, on the basis of a loving relationship, you can offer your partner alternative sex (non-penetrative) based on his orgasm. This could include allowing him to masturbate himself (depending on your generosity, you could offer to suck him off or masturbate him) while you display yourself provocatively or allowing him to masturbate by riding between your breasts (if large enough!) or your buttocks.
"With my boyfriend of four years, we pretty much stopped 'having intercourse', because it just wasn't working for me, and he doesn't want me to do it if I don't like it. He still comes, and I do too, and I don't have to worry about pregnancy." (p104 The Hite Reports 1993)
Jane Thomas: Author http://WaysWomenOrgasm.org and http://Nosper.com
(ArticlesBase SC #1008148)
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The modern liberated view is that women experience orgasm from sex almost as easily as men do. The more conservative view is that a woman can only find sex rewarding as part of a loving relationship. Ironically both of these approaches imply that women orgasm 'naturally' during sex and so make it difficult for women to question a lack of orgasm.
The popular view is that it is 'normal' for a woman to orgasm during sex and so any woman who do not orgasm with a partner concludes that she must be missing out. We are just playing with words here because who cares what bluffers, fakers and sex surveys claim?
How hypnosis is used to help with sexual issues, after all most sex is in the minds
Believe it or not there are women out their who experience mind shattering orgasms with very little effort. Learning Tips To Give a Female An Orgasm aren't as difficult as you may think, if you know what factors can prevent it. That famous question of "how to give a woman an orgasm" is no longer a shrouded mystery that only the select few have access to, in fact the answers are so simple that you will probably kick yourself when you find them.
Believe it or not there are women out their who experience mind shattering orgasms with very little effort. Learning Tips To Give a Female An Orgasm aren't as difficult as you may think, if you know what factors can prevent it.
Sex is a very big part of a relationship and when one partner lacks in a specific area or loses the drive, this can become a serious problem to say the least. One partner may have a problem but really does not know why. Maybe the female can not achieve an orgasm or maybe the male has no stamina. Regardless of the problem, there are types of hypnosis that can make everything right.
It takes time but it helps to understand something of each other's sexual fantasies, what gets them aroused and what they enjoy about sex. As with all human communication, it is worth starting off with a low ambition level before building up to major confidences. Some people are much more easily embarrassed than others by personal or erotic detail!
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Giving a woman a powerful orgasm and having her dripping wet with pleasure is something that you are dying to do. The only problem is that you just aren’t very good at it. You want to be the best that she has ever had but you just don’t know how. You need to learn a few tips.
For some women, oral sex is the only way that they can have an orgasm. It is the right balance between rough and soft that women look for with stimulation and some women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation. With these facts in mind, you know that you need to master the art of performing oral sex on a female.
The clitoris is like a big puzzle to a lot of men. They don’t know how to use it in order to give a woman pleasure. You feel the exact same way. You are so confused about how to go about pleasing a woman with oral sex so it is time that you learned how to do this.
When your sex life starts to suffer, your marriage starts to suffer and you know this first hand. You and your partner just don’t seem to have that same spark and fire in the bedroom and it is really starting to take its toll. You want to get the passion back but you just don’t know how. You need to learn how to make sex better today.
I suppose that I have been lucky. I have had a sex drive that is unusual for a woman. I know that this is unusual because most women talk of love, trust and comittment. From time to time, I positively enjoy jumping on my man.
The misconception that vaginal intercourse, or any physical stimulation technique for that matter, will lead to spontaneous female sexual arousal leads to women taking a passive stance in sex. They continue to hope indefinitely that a man, knowing how to reach his own orgasm, will somehow know how to make ‘a miracle’ happen.
Beliefs about female sexuality are more often based on fantasy than facts. These are the 10 essential facts that every woman (if she is interested in sharing her own sexual arousal and orgasm with a partner) should know:
It is highly misleading to tell women that lack of orgasm during sex is a sexual dysfunction… It is simply the way things are for many women who hope for orgasm from their sexual relationships.
When they talk about their sexual relationships with men, women will often refer to love, trust and commitment. These factors are obviously important for the stability of long-term relationships that family life depends on. But they are not factors that will help a woman learn how to enjoy orgasm during sex.
Most women, sex experts or not, never learn to masturbate. Without the knowledge of how to achieve their own orgasm through masturbation, they never learn how their own sexual arousal works and that genital stimulation is required for orgasm as much for women as it is for men.
Women like to refer to sex as 'making love' because it indicates that their motives are loving rather than explicitly sexual. Modern expectations may cause some women to talk about their sexual experiences in terms of arousal and orgasm. But many others interpret sex as a loving act without needing to talk about orgasm at all.
The heterosexual act of vaginal intercourse is designed foremost as an expression of love between a man and a woman. After all, if sex was purely about two people reaching orgasm, then we would more naturally engage in activities that involve more direct genital stimulation. Intercourse is a natural progression from kissing to a man capitalising on his sexual arousal to 'make love' to a woman.
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