Why is sexual pleasure still taboo?

Prostitution is at the core of the contradiction and embarrassment that lies at the centre of sex. After all, if sex is so equally pleasurable then why would anyone need to pay for sex? The vast majority of prostitutes are women who are providing sexual services to men.

Prostitution exists because men’s drive to enjoy sexual pleasure cannot always be satisfied through relationships. This is because wives and girlfriends are often reluctant to offer sexual pleasuring other than vaginal intercourse.

Even prostitutes can be disgusted by the activities that their male clients ask for. And yet, it is the women who are shamed not the men that generate the demand. No woman aspires to be a prostitute and few men want their daughters or sisters to be prostitutes.

Even if a man has a mistress, it is still likely that his own legitimate children will benefit most from his efforts. So women are not likely to evolve aptitudes directed towards sex. All a woman has to do is attract a man. Her job is to ensure that her children survive and thrive.

Prostitution is associated with exploitation of women by men. Equally, women can suffer through being used by men for sex because they are usually hoping for long-term emotional rewards from a relationship with a man rather than short-term sexual rewards.

Although sex is implicit within marriage since it leads to family, sexual pleasure has always been taboo for respectable women. Women simply do not have the same drive that men have to enjoy their own sexual arousal and orgasm.

The problem with sex advice today is that girls are not provided with the facts about female sexuality that would enable them to enjoy sexual pleasure. When it came to my sex education, my father was keen that I should enjoy sex. He used to send me historical novels to read at school. Many of these had a sexual subtheme.

Kings of England, such as Henry VIII, expected complete obedience from everyone but any man expected obedience from his wife. Even today the Church of England offers the vow of bridal obedience from the 1662 Common Book of Prayer. Henry VIII treated women like sexual chattels to be discarded once they were no longer pretty and their figures spoiled from childbirth.

It is this need that men have to satisfy their sex drive by becoming aroused by a young woman’s body that causes most offense to women. At the most extreme, a woman can be viewed simply as a sexual commodity to be used for sex by a man and then discarded when he no longer finds her body arousing. Marriage was established in order to protect women and children.

Despite men’s desire for sexual pleasure, the most fundamental purpose of sex is reproduction. However, a man’s need for sex provides a woman with a means of keeping her man motivated to support the family. If a couple is able to open up to each other and explore eroticism together then they may discover more ways of pleasuring than young people ever try.

If you can survive the ups and downs, it is definitely worthwhile investing effort to keep the fun in sex. If a woman cares about her man, she will appreciate the importance that sex plays in his life. Sex can become more intimate and more adventurous if you are willing to invest some time and energy in your sex life.

Jane Thomas: Author http://WaysWomenOrgasm.org and http://Nosper.com