Friday

Dave was bad-tempered because he took time off work to go see the physician at the hospital. Even though Mike slipped him a few dollars to make up the lost pay, Dave said it was all bullshit. I was perfectly able to give consent to take this Ambien. He thinks there’s nothing really wrong with me, which is kind of reassuring. The physician didn’t have all the test results back so he couldn’t gainsay Dave right there and then. But said he was “optimistic”. Dave got more mellow as the evening went on. He chugged a few beers and we had a meal. The boys came in and went out again — they were laughing about something called Zolpidem — like they could set up on the streets to sell any leftovers.

Dave chased out after them and I could hear them arguing for a while. When he got back, he said they’re expecting to start me on Ambien next week. When I asked him about it, he got a bit tight-lipped, like he thought he should tell me all about it but didn’t want to at the same time. He did say he didn’t like Mike — thought he was making fun of me a lot of the time — but kind of liked the chance we’d got to find out if there really was something wrong with me. Free testing at a swanky hospital seemed a big plus. And it wasn’t as if this Ambien was a new thing. Like they weren’t experimenting on me like I was some lab rat or anything.

I said I sometimes felt like a lab rat. Bottled up in the house all day because I didn’t feel safe to go out. Just waiting around for Dave to come home and feed me.

Dave gave me a cuddle and tried to sound as if this Ambien was going to solve all the problems. He said people had been taking Ambien for years. You could even use a computer to buy Ambien online. It had a good rep. I should try not to worry. The physician had given him all kinds of instructions on how to look after me after I started to take it. And, now that the boys were in on the act, he’d have to find somewhere safe to hide the tablets just on the off-chance they weren’t joking about selling it on the streets. That seemed strange to me. Was this like some kind of drug? Was I going to get hooked like on coke? Not that I’ve ever taken anything like coke, of course. But people always talk about coke and crack as if they’re a one-shot trip to rehab.

Dave said so long as we were careful, there was nothing to worry about. After all, how could it be dangerous like in hard drugs if you could buy Ambien online. I’d just take it for a few days so I could see how it worked. He laughed and said he’d hide the Ambien from me as well as the boys so I couldn’t take any of it by accident. I can forget what I’ve done and repeat myself if Dave doesn’t look out for me. That way, we’d keep everyone out of jail or rehab whichever came first. I got all worried again that the boys might get into trouble, but Dave cuddled me some more and it didn’t seem so bad anymore. He said Ambien might change me from a rat-mom into a soccer mom except we wouldn’t have the money and the boys didn’t play soccer. But he thought I deserved the chance. He can be a real sweetie sometimes.