Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.
http://www.gmfootball.com
Even though I’m the proud owner of a Y chromosome, I love reality TV. I even applied for ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’, but I didn’t fancy wearing a white suit.
I had a much better time on ‘The X Factor’. As soon as I looked deep into Cheryl Tweedy’s eyes, I instantly knew there was something between us - it was eleven security guards.
I blame myself for not making it through to the boot camp - I told the judges that my parents were still alive. I should have told them that my old man had passed on - it’ll be true if he mentions last week’s Newcastle tip again.
A number of years ago, Paul McCartney and I swapped partners for a programme that would revolutionise TV. The format was still in its infancy then, so the pilot of ‘Wife-Beater Swap’ was never aired.
I thoroughly enjoyed my time with Heather Mills. I have to admit that I couldn’t keep up with her in the bedroom, which was somewhat ironic.
The wife was mostly disappointed by her stay with Paul, as she’s a big meat-eater. She said the Dung Beatle was a perfect gentleman though, until he had a Stella.
Adrian Chiles has reality television to thank for allowing the general public to become accustomed to seeing people who would normally only be employed on Halloween.
Chiles recently won first place in a Carlos Tevez look-alike competition, finishing narrowly ahead of Carlos Tevez.
The Brummie does have a pleasant personality, even taking into account the fact that his accent ensures that your thumb is always hovering over the mute button. He’s like Frank Skinner, only with fresher gags.
Chiles may be evolution’s error, but he does have a genuine love of football; so he’s the ideal candidate to present a new reality TV show: ‘The King of the Castle’.
Each week, Mike Ashley would set all applicants for the Newcastle manager’s job a series of hypothetical tasks. If any of the participants crack under the pressure by playing Wayne Rooney on the wing or paying over £7m for Robbie Keane, then they’re either fired or employed as Dennis Wise’s taxi driver.
The only possible flaw with the plan is that Ashley might sell his stake in the club before the show can be made. One bright spark has suggested that 30,000 locals each donate £1,000 to purchase the club themselves. I would have thought that a Geordie with over a grand to spare would no longer live in Newcastle.
All members of the Toon Army who are trying to raise cash should invest in Sunderland to beat Middlesbrough at 7/5. If my one point investment goes down, I’ll be more embarrassed than Adrian Chiles’ girlfriend.
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German keeper commits suicide
By: fivewood | 11/11/2009Tributes are being paid as the world of football mourns Germany goalkeeper Robert Enke, who has died after being struck by a train in an apparent suicide
Italian Serie A- Inter Milan Still the Leader Despite their draw with Roma 1-1
By: Ally White | 11/11/2009Inter Milan F.C, the current champs, missed a good opportunity to stretch their lead at the top of the Italian Serie A League, after drawing 1-1 with AS Roma at the Giuseppe Meazza Stadium. This victory brings Internazionale to nine wins, two draws and a defeat to establish themselves as the leaders with 29 points.
Beginner Soccer Drills - How To Take Your Game To The Next Level
By: Tanner Hemingway | 11/11/2009Beginner soccer drills are so important in the overall development of young players not just because they are a starting point but because they will shape the players style later down the track.
This weekend's British football round up 6th/7th/8th November 2009
By: fivewood | 11/11/2009A full round up of the football results from around England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland for the weekend of the 31st October /1st November 2009
Chelsea boss Ancelotti claims English more sporting than Italians
By: Maryann.Davis | 11/11/2009Chelsea boss Carlo Ancelotti is critical of his countryman in an interview in La Gazzetta dello Sport, for not being as sporting as the English.
Youth Football
By: Paul1 a5 Robert1 | 10/11/2009The answer may surprise you. Many youth football teams try to emulate the coach that he had seen on television over the last week or what the coach ran like a high school player 20 years ago. Unfortunately, what works in the College or Pro level on television often does not work very well at the youth level. High School Coach of the system may well have proved to his team's 20-30 years ago, 6 days a week of practice and fleet Running back, but sad at the youth level.
Gosh, a Soccer Fundraiser to Pay for Shoes
By: Howard Gottlieb | 10/11/2009Soccer shoes have become a large expense involved in playing soccer. There is no such thing as a regular soccer shoe anymore and with that comes some expense. Many teams that require all players to have the same style shoe or a more technologically sound one have decided to do a soccer fundraiser to help with the cost.
Looking for the Perfect Soccer Fund Raiser?
By: Howard Gottlieb | 10/11/2009Easy Fundraising Ideas can work with you to design the perfect soccer fund raiser for your team or league. Whether you are raising money for uniforms, soccer camp, registration fees or tournaments, Easy Fundraising Ideas can help you choose the absolute best soccer fundraising idea.
Giant Anteater Devours Small Man
By: Gerry McDonnell | 09/10/2008 | Soccer‘It takes me a long while to reach the stage where I feel comfortable enough with a partner to move things on to a physical level. When the time does finally arrive, I’m often so overcome with emotion that I’ll gently shed a few tears. Although this may just be a reaction to the mace.’
I’m a Berby Girl…ouch
By: Gerry McDonnell | 02/10/2008 | Soccer‘Tottenham may be as impotent as Melanie Chisholm’s boyfriend when sobriety arrives, but if they can’t ease past Hull in front of their own supporters they should rename the ground ‘White Flag Lane.’
Hel Bent for Leather
By: Gerry McDonnell | 25/09/2008 | Humor‘I definitely wouldn’t have been so obsessed with the dilapidated presenter if the wife had dished out a little more pie. In her defence, she has picked up a nasty rash in an area that makes such behaviour problematic – it’s the most irritating twat since Michel Platini.’
Ade and a Bet
By: Gerry McDonnell | 18/09/2008 | Soccer‘A number of years ago, Paul McCartney and I swapped partners for a programme that would revolutionise TV. The format was still in its infancy then, so the pilot of ‘Wife-Beater Swap’ was never aired.’
A Cute Little Growler
By: Gerry McDonnell | 11/09/2008 | Soccer‘Wayne Rooney may have played reasonably well against Croatia in midweek, but that performance is merely papering over the cracks. You can put lipstick on a pig - but you should never marry her in Italy.’
Egg and Chips - Por Favor Grasos
By: Gerry McDonnell | 04/09/2008 | Soccer‘Capello is a definite personality. He once told Paolo Di Canio that his face looked like a penis. He could say the same about Joey Barton: after all, you are what you eat.’
Squealed With a Kiss
By: Gerry McDonnell | 28/08/2008 | Soccer‘My bitterness towards America may well be born of my early sexual encounters. I learned about ‘the birds and the bees’ from watching ‘Deliverance’. Whenever I make love, I sound like Jade Goody.’
Shake it on the Chin
By: Gerry McDonnell | 21/08/2008 | Soccer‘China does have nice areas though, particularly Tibet. Knife crime is practically unheard of over there - but chopstick attacks are through the roof.’