Ade and a Bet

Posted: Sep 18, 2008 | Comments: 0 | Views: 5 | Bookmark and Share

Even though I’m the proud owner of a Y chromosome, I love reality TV. I even applied for ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’, but I didn’t fancy wearing a white suit.

 

I had a much better time on ‘The X Factor’. As soon as I looked deep into Cheryl Tweedy’s eyes, I instantly knew there was something between us - it was eleven security guards.

 

I blame myself for not making it through to the boot camp - I told the judges that my parents were still alive. I should have told them that my old man had passed on - it’ll be true if he mentions last week’s Newcastle tip again.

 

A number of years ago, Paul McCartney and I swapped partners for a programme that would revolutionise TV. The format was still in its infancy then, so the pilot of ‘Wife-Beater Swap’ was never aired.

 

I thoroughly enjoyed my time with Heather Mills. I have to admit that I couldn’t keep up with her in the bedroom, which was somewhat ironic.

 

The wife was mostly disappointed by her stay with Paul, as she’s a big meat-eater. She said the Dung Beatle was a perfect gentleman though, until he had a Stella.

 

Adrian Chiles has reality television to thank for allowing the general public to become accustomed to seeing people who would normally only be employed on Halloween.

 

Chiles recently won first place in a Carlos Tevez look-alike competition, finishing narrowly ahead of Carlos Tevez.

 

The Brummie does have a pleasant personality, even taking into account the fact that his accent ensures that your thumb is always hovering over the mute button. He’s like Frank Skinner, only with fresher gags.

 

Chiles may be evolution’s error, but he does have a genuine love of football; so he’s the ideal candidate to present a new reality TV show: ‘The King of the Castle’.

 

Each week, Mike Ashley would set all applicants for the Newcastle manager’s job a series of hypothetical tasks. If any of the participants crack under the pressure by playing Wayne Rooney on the wing or paying over £7m for Robbie Keane, then they’re either fired or employed as Dennis Wise’s taxi driver.

 

The only possible flaw with the plan is that Ashley might sell his stake in the club before the show can be made. One bright spark has suggested that 30,000 locals each donate £1,000 to purchase the club themselves. I would have thought that a Geordie with over a grand to spare would no longer live in Newcastle.

 

All members of the Toon Army who are trying to raise cash should invest in Sunderland to beat Middlesbrough at 7/5. If my one point investment goes down, I’ll be more embarrassed than Adrian Chiles’ girlfriend.

 

(ArticlesBase SC #567440)

Rate this Article
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 1 vote(s)
    Feedback
    RSS
    Print
    Email
    Re-Publish

    Source:  http://www.articlesbase.com/soccer-articles/ade-and-a-bet-567440.html

    Article Tags:

    Soccer

    ,

    betting

    ,

    Football

    ,

    Premier League

    Learn about Salt: The Essential Seasoning

    Ok, I bet you use it everyday, but probably don't realize its impact. Here's Allen Smith to show us how salt can spice up your life in ways you never imagined. (01:48)

    FIFA 10 Live Season Tutorial Trailer

    Enhance your football playing experience with the live season option available on FIFA 10. (02:19)

    3 Tiered Shooting Drill

    This shooting drill for soccer is explained in Chalktalk and then w/ 2 different live videos of players doing this drill. Great for Youth Soccer Coaches. (01:04)

    Football Manager 2010 UK Trailer

    Live the highest-stakes sport in the world as you become the head honcho of a professional soccer (er Football team) in Football Manager 2010. (00:50)

    Cool Bar Bet!

    http://easybartricks.com Bar Bet. Unbeatable Bar Bet that can win you beers! This Bar Bet is great for bets. Do this Bar Bet as a bet or challenge friends http://easybartricks.com/cool-bar-bet.html (01:18)

    Many soccer punters put a lot of effort to study on players, team strategies and odds movement but lose their bet at the end. In fact, soccer betting is simple. You should only pay attention on recent team statistics and bravely put your bet accordingly.

    By: Joseph Linhard l Art & Entertainment > Online Gambling l Feb 21, 2006 l Views: 896

    Fulham vs Portsmouth Live Streaming,Portsmouth vs Fulham Live Streaming,Fulham vs Portsmouth Live,Portsmouth vs Fulham Live,Watch Live Fulham vs Portsmouth,Watch Live Portsmouth vs Fulham,Fulham vs Portsmouth,Portsmouth vs Fulham Wednesday, February 3, 21:00 CET

    By: sportsbettingtips l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Feb 03, 2010 l Views: 45

    Tottenham Hotspur vs Aston Villa Live Streaming,Aston Villa vs Tottenham Hotspur Live Streaming,Tottenham Hotspur vs Aston Villa Live,Aston Villa vs Tottenham Hotspur Live,Watch Live Tottenham Hotspur vs Aston Villa ,Watch Live Aston Villa vs Tottenham Hotspur,Tottenham Hotspur vs Aston Villa ,Aston Villa vs Tottenham Hotspur Friday, Saturday 6, 18:30 CET

    By: sportsbettingtips l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Feb 06, 2010

    Liverpool host Manchester City in Saturday's early kick-off match in a contest which is vital for both sides who are desperate to claw their way back into the Top 4. Liverpool have only picked-up 7 from the last 18 points available and their title challenge has all but disappeared, while big-spending Manchester City are on a run of five successive draws. Read more

    By: Paul l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Nov 19, 2009 l Views: 26

    Soccer experts provide you with betting tips, the media publishes the latest news about the opponent teams and their key players, bookmakers support hundreds of betting methods… However, when you finally place your huge wager on a sure favorite, this is the time to start praying...

    By: Les Kane l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Feb 09, 2010 l Views: 2

    Now calculated in days and hours rather than months and weeks, the business end of pre-season is upon us as spread bettors countdown to the new Premier League season. Despite months of transfer tittle tattle, other than Manchester City’s oil-rich owners signing blank cheques to fund Mark Hughes’ expensive shopping tastes all summer, there has so far been a level of circumspection not often witnessed in the cash-fuelled Premier League years.

    By: Shashwith Uthappa l Sports and Fitness > Football l Jul 28, 2009 l Views: 20

    Chelsea made no mistake against Manchester City following last weekend's shock defeat at Fulham as they won comfortably at Stamford Bridge.

    By: David Walker l Art & Entertainment > Online Gambling l Mar 28, 2006 l Views: 303

    Manchester United could delay Chelsea's celebrations by a further week while Portsmouth could relegate both West Bromwich Albion and Birmingham City this weekend writes David Walker.

    By: David Walker l Art & Entertainment > Online Gambling l Apr 29, 2006 l Views: 249

    Everton vs Chelsea Live Streaming, Watch Live Streaming Everton vs Chelsea, Everton vs Chelsea Live Streaming Soccer, Watch Everton vs Chelsea Live Online Streaming, Live Streaming Everton vs Chelsea, Everton vs Chelsea Live Online, Everton vs Chelsea Live Broadcast, Everton vs Chelsea Live Streaming Online, Everton vs Chelsea Live Soccer Streaming Online, 2010 Football Worldcup, Everton vs Chelsea Live Streaming, Watch Everton vs Chelsea Live Streaming Online, Everton vs Chelsea Live Streaming

    By: leopatra l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Feb 10, 2010

    Wolves vs Tottenham Live Streaming, Watch Live Streaming Wolves vs Tottenham, Wolves vs Tottenham Live Streaming Soccer, Watch Wolves vs Tottenham Live Online Streaming, Live Streaming Wolves vs Tottenham, Wolves vs Tottenham Live Online, Wolves vs Tottenham Live Broadcast, Wolves vs Tottenham Live Streaming Online, Wolves vs Tottenham Live Soccer Streaming Online, 2010 Football Worldcup, Wolves vs Tottenham Live Streaming, Watch Wolves vs Tottenham Live Streaming Online, Wolves vs Tottenham

    By: leopatra l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Feb 10, 2010

    watch Aston Villa vs Manchester United,watch live aston villa vs manchester united,watch live stream aston villa vs manchester united,aston villa vs manchester united live,manchester united vs aston villa,manchester united vs aston villa live streaming

    By: Tigran l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Feb 10, 2010 l Views: 1
    kriston

    Watch Arsenal vs Liverpool Soccer Live, Arsenal Vs Liverpool, Arsenal vs Liverpool free online, Arsenal vs Liverpool live feed, Arsenal vs Liverpool online streaming, watch Arsenal vs Liverpool

    By: kriston l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Feb 10, 2010 l Views: 7

    Argentina vs Jamaica Live Streaming,Jamaica vs Argentina Live Streaming,Argentina vs Jamaica Live,Jamaica vs Argentina Live,Watch Live Argentina vs Jamaica,Watch Live Jamaica vs Argentina,Argentina vs Jamaica,Jamaica vs Argentina Wednesday, February 10, 20:15 ET

    By: sportsbettingtips l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Feb 10, 2010 l Views: 1
    kriston

    Everton vs Chelsea Soccer Live, Everton vs Chelsea, Everton vs Chelsea free online, Everton vs Chelsea live feed, Everton vs Chelsea online streaming, watch Everton vs Chelsea

    By: kriston l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Feb 10, 2010 l Views: 1

    watch arsenal vs liverpool,arsenal vs liverpool live streaming,arsenal vs liverpool live stream,arsenal vs liverpool live soccer streaming,watch live stream arsenal vs liverpool,arsenal vs liverpool live broadcast,liverpool vs arsenal live streaming

    By: Tigran l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Feb 10, 2010 l Views: 2

    Soccer experts provide you with betting tips, the media publishes the latest news about the opponent teams and their key players, bookmakers support hundreds of betting methods… However, when you finally place your huge wager on a sure favorite, this is the time to start praying...

    By: Les Kane l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Feb 09, 2010 l Views: 2
    Gerry McDonnell

    ‘It takes me a long while to reach the stage where I feel comfortable enough with a partner to move things on to a physical level. When the time does finally arrive, I’m often so overcome with emotion that I’ll gently shed a few tears. Although this may just be a reaction to the mace.’

    By: Gerry McDonnell l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Oct 09, 2008 l Views: 44
    Gerry McDonnell

    ‘Tottenham may be as impotent as Melanie Chisholm’s boyfriend when sobriety arrives, but if they can’t ease past Hull in front of their own supporters they should rename the ground ‘White Flag Lane.’

    By: Gerry McDonnell l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Oct 02, 2008 l Views: 49
    Gerry McDonnell

    ‘I definitely wouldn’t have been so obsessed with the dilapidated presenter if the wife had dished out a little more pie. In her defence, she has picked up a nasty rash in an area that makes such behaviour problematic – it’s the most irritating twat since Michel Platini.’

    By: Gerry McDonnell l Art & Entertainment > Humor l Sep 25, 2008 l Views: 25
    Gerry McDonnell

    ‘A number of years ago, Paul McCartney and I swapped partners for a programme that would revolutionise TV. The format was still in its infancy then, so the pilot of ‘Wife-Beater Swap’ was never aired.’

    By: Gerry McDonnell l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Sep 18, 2008 l Views: 5
    Gerry McDonnell

    ‘Wayne Rooney may have played reasonably well against Croatia in midweek, but that performance is merely papering over the cracks. You can put lipstick on a pig - but you should never marry her in Italy.’

    By: Gerry McDonnell l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Sep 11, 2008 l Views: 13
    Gerry McDonnell

    ‘Capello is a definite personality. He once told Paolo Di Canio that his face looked like a penis. He could say the same about Joey Barton: after all, you are what you eat.’

    By: Gerry McDonnell l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Sep 04, 2008 l Views: 7
    Gerry McDonnell

    ‘My bitterness towards America may well be born of my early sexual encounters. I learned about ‘the birds and the bees’ from watching ‘Deliverance’. Whenever I make love, I sound like Jade Goody.’

    By: Gerry McDonnell l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Aug 28, 2008 l Views: 19
    Gerry McDonnell

    ‘China does have nice areas though, particularly Tibet. Knife crime is practically unheard of over there - but chopstick attacks are through the roof.’

    By: Gerry McDonnell l Sports and Fitness > Soccer l Aug 21, 2008 l Views: 4

    Add new Comment

     
    * Required fields
    Author Box
    Articles Categories
    All Categories
    0