Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.
http://www.gmfootball.com
The Olympic Games have been a real disappointment. The only event that I was desperate to watch was the diving; but it turned out to be a few lunatics jumping into a pool.
My tissues did come in handy when Paula Radcliffe limped over the line in the marathon - that was pure comedy gold.
Britain has tasted success in the fringe ‘sports’, but we never even competed in the sprinting. We should have told Rio Ferdinand that a drug test was imminent.
The best thing about the Games is they allow sportsmen the opportunity for a glimpse of fame and corporate sponsorship. This could be a real life-changer for Rafael Nadal.
Now i’m not the type of person who takes pleasure in criticising others - I’m all about spreading love (and Chlamydia), but China should never have been allowed to host the event.
The Chinese government famously flattened up to 3,000 students at Tiananmen Square in 1989. Such behaviour is unforgivable, there were approximately 100,000 students taking liberties at the time.
The country has no real redeeming features, other than a ‘Great’ Wall. I absolutely refuse to bestow greatness on a collection of bricks unless they’re dividing England from Scotland.
It’s widely believed that you can see the wall from the moon, but that’s a complete fallacy - the only thing visible from that distance is John Terry’s sense of self importance.
China does have nice areas though, particularly Tibet. Knife crime is practically unheard of over there - but chopstick attacks are through the roof.
My opinions are probably influenced by the fact that I was once in love with a young Chinese lady. She could do things with a ping-pong ball that you wouldn’t believe - she was a two-time table tennis champion.
I was absolutely heartbroken when she split up with me, and I married the wife on the rebound. Something about Betty reminded me of my former love - Chin Tu Fat.
My heart will always be with Chin, but my cash is firmly on Blackburn to beat Hull - I’ll happily stake one point at 4/6.
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Youth Football
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Giant Anteater Devours Small Man
By: Gerry McDonnell | 09/10/2008 | Soccer‘It takes me a long while to reach the stage where I feel comfortable enough with a partner to move things on to a physical level. When the time does finally arrive, I’m often so overcome with emotion that I’ll gently shed a few tears. Although this may just be a reaction to the mace.’
I’m a Berby Girl…ouch
By: Gerry McDonnell | 02/10/2008 | Soccer‘Tottenham may be as impotent as Melanie Chisholm’s boyfriend when sobriety arrives, but if they can’t ease past Hull in front of their own supporters they should rename the ground ‘White Flag Lane.’
Hel Bent for Leather
By: Gerry McDonnell | 25/09/2008 | Humor‘I definitely wouldn’t have been so obsessed with the dilapidated presenter if the wife had dished out a little more pie. In her defence, she has picked up a nasty rash in an area that makes such behaviour problematic – it’s the most irritating twat since Michel Platini.’
Ade and a Bet
By: Gerry McDonnell | 18/09/2008 | Soccer‘A number of years ago, Paul McCartney and I swapped partners for a programme that would revolutionise TV. The format was still in its infancy then, so the pilot of ‘Wife-Beater Swap’ was never aired.’
A Cute Little Growler
By: Gerry McDonnell | 11/09/2008 | Soccer‘Wayne Rooney may have played reasonably well against Croatia in midweek, but that performance is merely papering over the cracks. You can put lipstick on a pig - but you should never marry her in Italy.’
Egg and Chips - Por Favor Grasos
By: Gerry McDonnell | 04/09/2008 | Soccer‘Capello is a definite personality. He once told Paolo Di Canio that his face looked like a penis. He could say the same about Joey Barton: after all, you are what you eat.’
Squealed With a Kiss
By: Gerry McDonnell | 28/08/2008 | Soccer‘My bitterness towards America may well be born of my early sexual encounters. I learned about ‘the birds and the bees’ from watching ‘Deliverance’. Whenever I make love, I sound like Jade Goody.’
Shake it on the Chin
By: Gerry McDonnell | 21/08/2008 | Soccer‘China does have nice areas though, particularly Tibet. Knife crime is practically unheard of over there - but chopstick attacks are through the roof.’