Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.
A great book does not necessarily make a great movie. Catch 22 is probably the seminal piece of literature of the twentieth century (if we choose to overlook Derek McGovern on Sports Betting); yet the film was a major disappointment. Somewhat conversely, I found George Orwell’s tale of Soviet totalitarianism quite heavy going, but I must have watched Animal Farm 17 times.
One story that is absolutely crying out for the transfer to celluloid is the life and times of Harry Redknapp. Harry has unrealistically named Ray Winstone as an ideal candidate to play the leading role; i’d have cast Timothy Spall. I have it on good authority that Spall would consider any offer, so I’m knocking up a script entitled ‘The buying, the twitch and the hoard probe.’
Harry is still understandably seething after the police raided his home at the crack of dawn. Harry can consider himself fortunate that it wasn’t the West Midlands filth who were on the case, as he’d probably have been charged with 47 crimes. I feel like I’m stitching up the bookmakers by taking 6/5 for a Villa win over Pompey.
I was a little perturbed when I read that the Liverpool supporters were right behind Rafa Benitez; I thought it was a prelude to a carjacking. Fernando Torres has already bagged a hat-trick at the Madejski this season; the Spanish sensation can lead the Pool to another win over Reading at 8/11.
Steve Gibson should accept some responsibility for the dire state of English football. If the imperturbable chairman had the nouse to sack floundering managers at the appropriate juncture, the England supporters would be packing their balaclavas next summer. Gibson is once again supporting an incompetent incumbent: Arsenal will hammer home the message at 8/15.
I couldn’t understand the furore surrounding Robbie Keane’s dismissal against Birmingham last week. For me, there’s nothing wrong with ‘4th official consultation’, or ‘Dowd syndrome’ as it will hopefully be labelled. Manchester City have lost their last three matches at White Hart Lane and Elano is a serious doubt: 6/5 for Spurs is practically a gift.
Everton are a confident call at home to the travelsick Fulham. The Cottagers have never won a league match at Goodison Park in their history, and their six Premier League visits have earned them a total of zero points. I’d sooner leave my grandmother unsupervised with Wayne Rooney than miss out on the Toffeemen at 3/5.
David Bentley has been likened to David Beckham. I’ve been left completely flummoxed by this comparison; i can only assume he has a girlfriend who can’t sing. I’ll be screaming like a bint if West Ham hold Blackburn to a draw at 11/4.
Apparently, prison holds no fear for Joey Barton; I guess he’s looking forward to the family reunion. I’m embracing the 10/11 for a Newcastle win over Birmingham like a long-lost law-abiding brother.
Wigan are in a real fight at the wrong end of the table, which may explain why they appointed a manager who looks like he’s gone 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. Wigan have now gone 12 matches without a win; I’ll be punching the bag if Bolton fail to land the spoils at 11/10.
If Manchester United v Derby was a boxing match, it would never get sanctioned; unless it was a Frank Warren promotion. Fergie is always up for the fight; I just hope his Dad can follow his lead. I’ll get a few rounds in after United slam the Rams at 1/7.
When Ashley Cole retires from football, he should consider a career in the fight game. It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest to see the combative defender end up in the ring. I’d advise Frank Lampard against considering pugilism though; he’d struggle to find an opponent in his weight class. You won’t have to wait too long for a return if you take 1/5 for a Chelsea win over Sunderland.
I believe Ricky Hatton can emerge victorious from his mega-fight with Floyd Mayweather. Ricky has the skill, the belief, the intensity and the heart, and even more importantly, the most talked about hook since Abu Hamza. The ‘Pretty Boy’ has an impressive record, but he struggles when opponents bring the fight to him; and Ricky will be all over him like the old bill on Harry Redknapp. For me, this is a 60/40 fight; making 9/5 about the Hitman particularly agreeable.
I had quite a respectable record when I used to fight at junior school. I remember beating up the toughest kid in Year 6: that’ll teach him for questioning last week’s accumulator. Aston Villa, Newcastle, Bolton and Tottenham form a 15/1 accer that will land a knockout blow to the bookies.
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Live Word Cup Soccer
By: Chuck White | 24/11/2009When you want to watch live world cup soccer, there is nothing quite like doing it in the lovely town of Port Elizabeth
This weekend's British football round up 21st/22nd November 2009
By: fivewood | 23/11/2009A full round up of the football results from around England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland for the weekend of the 21st/22nd November 2009
3PM Saturday Premiership Football For Everyone
By: Mark Marshall | 22/11/2009Diehard soccer fans can now watch live 3PM Saturday Premiership football from England anywhere in the world on a personal computer, a mobile phone or a digital box connected to a television thanks to www.statesidetv.net.
Watch Soccer World Cup Live Online
By: Kevin Phillips | 21/11/2009If you want to watch the 2010 FIFA World Cup live online, take a minute to check out this premiere online software.
Will Liverpool lose its big four tag
By: Michael | 21/11/2009When the freshness of a season ends and a team is not able to replicate the remarkable performance it had the previous season then it calls for an urgent measure. It’s now a well-known fact that Liverpool has lost the touch and they are on a downward spiral.
Will Guss Hiddink return to England
By: Michael | 20/11/2009The EPL action returns this weekend after the very last break of the world cup qualifying matches that ended on a very controversial note thanks to, ‘The Hand Thiery Henry.
World Cup Qualifier- France qualifies to the World Cup by beating Ireland
By: Audrey Nolan | 20/11/2009France qualified for the World Cup after beating the Republic of Ireland with an overall 2-1, with a draw in the second leg 1-1. The game took place in the Stade de France on Wednesday. The match took a dramatic turn when France, stuck behind Ireland 1-0 for most of the match, scored a questionable goal after an illicit move by Thierry Henry during the extra time.
MLS - Real Salt Lake will face Galaxy in the Grand Finale
By: Stephen Lars | 20/11/2009With determination and grit, the Real Salt Lake has managed to shine in the final stage of the 2009 MLS season. After a sound regular performance during the course of the season, the RSL rallied at the end, demonstrating that they were a team capable of increasing the level of play. They’ve got all the qualities they need to win the tournament at the end of the season in their first qualification for the MLS Cup.
Giant Anteater Devours Small Man
By: Gerry McDonnell | 09/10/2008 | Soccer‘It takes me a long while to reach the stage where I feel comfortable enough with a partner to move things on to a physical level. When the time does finally arrive, I’m often so overcome with emotion that I’ll gently shed a few tears. Although this may just be a reaction to the mace.’
I’m a Berby Girl…ouch
By: Gerry McDonnell | 02/10/2008 | Soccer‘Tottenham may be as impotent as Melanie Chisholm’s boyfriend when sobriety arrives, but if they can’t ease past Hull in front of their own supporters they should rename the ground ‘White Flag Lane.’
Hel Bent for Leather
By: Gerry McDonnell | 25/09/2008 | Humor‘I definitely wouldn’t have been so obsessed with the dilapidated presenter if the wife had dished out a little more pie. In her defence, she has picked up a nasty rash in an area that makes such behaviour problematic – it’s the most irritating twat since Michel Platini.’
Ade and a Bet
By: Gerry McDonnell | 18/09/2008 | Soccer‘A number of years ago, Paul McCartney and I swapped partners for a programme that would revolutionise TV. The format was still in its infancy then, so the pilot of ‘Wife-Beater Swap’ was never aired.’
A Cute Little Growler
By: Gerry McDonnell | 11/09/2008 | Soccer‘Wayne Rooney may have played reasonably well against Croatia in midweek, but that performance is merely papering over the cracks. You can put lipstick on a pig - but you should never marry her in Italy.’
Egg and Chips - Por Favor Grasos
By: Gerry McDonnell | 04/09/2008 | Soccer‘Capello is a definite personality. He once told Paolo Di Canio that his face looked like a penis. He could say the same about Joey Barton: after all, you are what you eat.’
Squealed With a Kiss
By: Gerry McDonnell | 28/08/2008 | Soccer‘My bitterness towards America may well be born of my early sexual encounters. I learned about ‘the birds and the bees’ from watching ‘Deliverance’. Whenever I make love, I sound like Jade Goody.’
Shake it on the Chin
By: Gerry McDonnell | 21/08/2008 | Soccer‘China does have nice areas though, particularly Tibet. Knife crime is practically unheard of over there - but chopstick attacks are through the roof.’