Coming To Grips With Spirit Contact

Today's enquiry to phil's web site on spirit contact comes from England, from a lady who has followed-up from previous correspondence regarding wanting contact, or to 'know of' contact, from her mother, who she missed deeply. She has tried to 'connect' but feels she isn't getting anything.

I've had a few people who have struggled with this. Perhaps some don't get it as clearly, or as easily. My secretary is one, but she now gets little hints or feelings, and is content with that, so perhaps I’ll talk from her perspective, and how I helped her reach that point.

I generally start by suggesting not to try too hard. If we leave this topic for a moment, and think about talent shows on TV - the ones who try really hard to do a good job generally fail, because it's all too rigid and planned. The ones who generally do better are the ones who just have fun and get on with it without thinking.

But in your case, rather than suggest don't try too hard, as ridiculous as this sounds, I want you to stop trying completely! Please keep reading. I’m not giving up on you!

So, stop trying completely. I think the thing with some people is they don't easily 'hear' things, then expect too much, and get nothing at all. So let’s start by not trying to get anything back at all.

Can you recreate the situation, either physically, or in your mind, of a time when she was with you, and you were talking about THE FAMILY. It may be a recent experience, or one from many years ago, perhaps when your first child arrived and she was giving you advice. It could be anything, but it needs to be a comforting situation, where YOUR TALKED TO HER, and SHE WAS CARING IN HER RESPONSES TO YOU. Are you with me on this? Perhaps a time when she was giving you motherly advice.

Now I want you to do whatever it takes to completely imagine that situation is real, now, today. IF you can’t create the physical environment, create it in your mind. Sit in your favourite chair or spot, and imagine you are in that spot.

Now think about the TYPE of conversation you had back then. Either talk to her about current events in the same way you did then, or reminisce about the actual type of things you talked about then. Don’t stress about trying to remember everything, I just want you to feel in that environment.

Now here's where I need you to trust me for a moment. Imagine, pretend, or believe that she’s beside you as you have these thoughts. Preferably have your eyes closed so you can blank out the world. Be relaxed, feel relaxed, don't ask for anything or expect anything, or try and get anything. Just make this a ONE WAY event. I don't want you to try and think about what she replied, or what she would reply now. Just talk in your head (or out loud) from YOUR perspective, and feel she's around, but don't worry about getting anything.

Do this for as long as you can. At no point should you try and 'get something' from her. Just keep this a totally one-way event. It's just you talking to her. When you run out of things to say, pause while you think of something else to say. And then continue. This could be 5 minutes or an hour, it doesn't matter. The key point here is to talk until you can't think of anything else, PAUSE, and then talk some more.

Let me explain why I'm suggesting this, but DON'T try and get what I'm going to tell you – just let it happen. You're expecting too much or the wrong thing, either way, she can't connect to you. That doesn’t mean she's not there. I'm being told to suggest you watch the film "Just like Heaven" if you haven't already. There's a scene in there were the girl's sister is totally unaware, and unbelieving, that her sister's spirit is in the room, yet the little girl sets another place at the table, because the little girl can see her. I think it will help you understand this point, and my guys are strongly suggesting you watch this movie. So just because you don't feel her there, doesn't mean she isn't, or that she's not trying to contact you. And most of all, don't get annoyed at her for not contacting you or trying hard enough!!

As you run out of things to say, the pause will allow her to move a 'feeling' to you. Sort of, if you can imagine, you have this one-way shower of words and thoughts and love going over to her, sitting or standing in that spot you imagine in your mind, and when you stop for a moment, she can just gently bounce the love and feelings BACK to you. If you can imagine those thoughts and feelings like a soft breeze, and when it comes back, you feel the slightest flutter on your skin, or shiver, or 'knowing' that she's there. It will probably be very faint, and I DON'T WANT YOU TO WAIT FOR IT, ASK FOR IT, OR EVEN EXPECT IT. I just want you to be aware it could happen, but it doesn't matter if it doesn't.

A little like my son when he was younger. He was terrible at catching a ball. We spent hours throwing the ball to each other. He'd throw it to me, I'd catch it, and I'd gently throw it back, and he'd try to catch it, but it just never seemed to connect. Sometimes it would go right over his head, and he had no idea it was there. Other times, he reached to catch it and it would go straight through his hands without even touching! One day, I had the idea that he should stop trying to catch it, and just have fun BEING with me in the backyard, and he slowly started to catch the ball because he wasn't concentrating on it. Nothing changed, but when he stopped trying, he caught it.

So that's why I'm suggesting to relax, talk, and keep talking and pause when you can't think of anything else to say. And it's the fact your trying to think of the next topic or thing to say that will stop you from trying to 'listen' or 'feel' the reply in the gap or pause – and that's why I want you to keep thinking of something to say, rather than waiting for "the sign". Does that make sense?

After all that, if you get nothing, it doesn't matter. Re do this again at another time. But always do it with love, because you want to SHARE with her, not because you WANT something from her. That's really important. It may take one go, or it may take 6 months. It doesn’t matter.

Now, when you DO think you get something, don't smother it! Don’t grasp for more, more signs, more feelings. Just accept whatever small thing you get, and then do the exercise again. I know it's frustrating for you, but in your case, I think it will take a while, just be patient, and once you 'get it', it becomes SO EASY. I know this from those who have written back to me. Let me know how you get on.  Phil

More on contacting the afterlife can be found at www.philg.net.au