Is Love and Marriage Forever? - Part 1

On Judgement Day, all the people were queuing up to enter heaven. God decided to divide the people into three lines. The first line was for the men who were dominated by their wives while living on earth. The second line was for the men who dominated their wives during their lives on earth. The third line was for all the women. God looked at the first two lines and saw that one was longer than the other.

The first queue was really long and God was greatly disappointed to see that there were so many men who failed to fulfil their destiny set by God as the head of the household. Their lives were completely controlled by their wives. But God saw that there was one man in the second line. Finally, there was one man who lived up to his calling. God turned to all the men in the first queue and told them to follow the good example of the one man in the second line. However, God was really curious as to how he did it. He turned to the man and asked him for his secret formula on how he managed to control his wife and not let her dominate his life. The man turned to God and said, “I don’t know, God. My wife told me to stand in this line so I obeyed.”

Marriage is long instituted by God. It was created by God in the Garden of Eden. When God instituted marriage, it was not meant for Christians alone but for all people. King Solomon told us in Ecclesiastes 9:9 (New Living Translation) to “live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife, God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil”. Clearly, even King Solomon understood the meaning of marriage and to live happily with the woman that God has rewarded you for you your hardworks. King Solomon wants us to enjoy the marriage that God has instituted in our lives.

Marriage is important to God and to use. It represents how God loves us and our relationship with God. The Bible likens us as the brides of Christ. If we say that our marriage is not working, then we are saying that our relationship with God is not working. All His marriage institutions then are failure. This is not a good representation of God’s love for His people. There are many divorces in this world. We are Christians have a role to play and that is to show God’s love is real. We must ensure our marriage is successful as it is our message to the world that God’s love is real and our relationship with God is real.

Ephesians 5:22-25; Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.

The Role and Responsibilities of a Husband

1. To be a leader

The husband is to be a prophet, priest and king to his wife. The husband is the leader and head of the household. As the leader and the head, men are called to have vision and to provide direction. Why is the man called to be the head? On the head, lie the eyes. The purpose of the eyes is to see far and near, to see ahead with vision. When God created the world, He created the man first and God gave man the responsibility of work to look after the garden and the animals. God left man with the accountability and command not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil before God created woman.

However, since sin entered the world through Adam, men began to fall away from God. Today, men are so busy working. They do not have time to pray. They do not have time to serve in the church. They do not have time to read the bible. They do not have time to provide spiritual food to their wives and children. How then is the man going to fulfil his role as the priest and king to his wife?

As the priest, the role is to lead the people of God into the presence of God. As the priest to your wife, your responsibility is to provide spiritual food and guidance to your wife, and to lead her into the spiritual presence of God.

A king always carries himself with dignity and authority. He is supposed to lead like the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit leads God’s people. He does not drive or push the people to meet God’s goals. The king rules the kingdom wisely and reigns among his people.

2. To love his wife

A wise and loving king will put his kingdom and people first before himself. Similarly, as the husband, you are to lead your wife and family but not by force or by thumbing your wife down. A wise and loving husband will govern his household wisely and reigns. His family will respect him and obey him as he puts his wife and family first before himself. A husband must love his wife, be willing to give of yourself and lay down your life for your wife.

Every time we backslide or sin, we grieve God. But He never gives up on us. He saddles us with His love and lovingly holds us in His arms. God remains faithful even if we are unfaithful. In every way, the husband is to be like Jesus who loves the church and gave of Himself for our salvation. In the same way, the husband is to love his wife and give of himself to her.

The Role and Responsibilities of a Wife

1. To be a helper to her husband

Genesis 2:28; And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

God told Adam the reason why Eve was created. When God created the world, God said that everything He created was good. When He created man, He said that it was not good enough. God said that something was missing and it was not good for man to be alone. Although when God created Adam, he has a job to look after the Garden of Eden but God realised that it was not healthy for Adam to be alone. By being alone, Adam will not have a healthy character development. Hence, God created woman to be a helper and comparable in every way to Adam in order to assist him.

How then is the woman to help man to fulfil the visions and dreams given to him by the Holy Spirit? How is the wife to help her husband to see the visions and dreams from God? For the wife to be a helper, she must know the husband’s vision. It is the husband’s responsibility to share his visions and dreams with his wife. If your wife believes that the visions and dreams come from the Holy Spirit, she will believe in you. It is the wife’s role to help her husband to achieve his visions and dreams. As a wife, you are to be a dream enabler, not a dream stealer or destroyer. You are to encourage your husband and to render help to make the visions and dreams come true.

2. To submit to her husband

Ephesians 5:24; Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

The responsibility of a wife is to submit to her husband. When the Bible says that a wife is to be submissive to her husband, it does not mean that she becomes a slave, to be thumbed down, to be ordered around or to be abused. A wife is to be encouraging, supportive and helpful. In turn, she is to be loved, treasured and respected by her husband. As a wife, you are to submit to your husband in everything.

If a man is married to a woman, who is high powered, more educated than him, and earned much higher, he must do his duty as a husband and as head of the household before she is willing to submit to your authority. Think about it. If you first love your wife and shower her with your agape love, you will find your wife loving you willingly in return. Just as God first loves us, as husband, you are to love your wife first.

Why does marriage fail and Woman dominate over Man? Let's see in the part 2.