My Way

I want what I want, and I want it now. How many times have you thought that? Isn't it human nature? Frank Sinatra sang, "I planned each charted course; Each careful step along the byway, But more, much more than this, I did it my way." I think often times we set our own selves up for the fall. I decide what my next goal will be, chart the course, and then launch out to achieve it. And when I come up short, all of the sudden God isn't coming through for me. Now it's His fault? Did I ask God if this was a reasonable goal? Did I ask, "Father, what would you have me do this time?" I think most of us are pretty hard on ourselves. I'm pretty sure I'm my own worst critic. But it's difficult to live up to our own expectations of ourselves. We have to walk the walk the way God wants us to. In every one of our lives, He has something He wants to teach us. You are where you are because God is trying to show you something. Or He has shown you something; something He wants you to do next, and you haven't taken the next step. Our "trees" often get in the way of God's "forest."

I have a note book, separate from my journal, that I call my Brainstorming Book. When I'm feeling really uncertain about what I'm supposed to do next, I will take some time to get together with God and have a private brainstorming session. I just write down everything that comes to me; everything I sense that God might be speaking to me; every idea, no matter how ridiculous it might sound. And nearly every time, God will send me away with a pretty good grocery list of the next several steps I need to take in my various life projects. And when I follow through, I always get positive results. And when I don't ... I end up humming one of the last lines of that Sinatra song, My Way, "The record shows I took the blows -And did it my way!" (Emphasis on taking blows.)

My way is always "better." My way makes "things" happen much more quickly. But it's never the way God wants me to go. He knows the desires of our hearts, and He wants to give us those desires. However, you'll appreciate it more if it costs you something. I always respected my classmates in college who were "working their way through school." Often times they could only afford a couple of classes a semester, but I knew they truly appreciated the value of the education they were paying for. I'm grateful that I didn't have to do that, but I recognized something in them that I didn't learn until much later in life. Everything good in life comes with a price. Yes, your salvation was a gift. Jesus paid the ultimate price for our entrance into the Kingdom of God. But the revelation of the wholeness of that gift in our lives is a costly journey. There is a price, because we bring along so much of ourselves that needs to be refined.

And God is not in a hurry. Even with Jesus, it was years before His ultimate mission began. If you'll recall, in Luke 2:49, Mary and Joseph had lost track of Jesus, who was 12 at the time. When they found him he responded, "Why were you searching for me? Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" Later in Luke 3:23 we learn, "Jesus himself was about thirty years old when he began his ministry." Now, I was on the six year college plan myself, and it seemed like forever some days; but 18 years? That's how long God the Father was preparing Jesus the Son for His mission here on earth.

I found this really interesting, and comforting I might add, in Hebrews 5:8, "Although He was a son, He learned obedience from what He suffered." God is clearly not in a hurry. And God is clearly about teaching us along the way. He taught Jesus that way. And we learn obedience to Him through the adversity we experience. And lots of times it takes a while.

Oswald Chambers wrote, "Jesus took the long trail." And it's a narrow trail. But it's the only trail we can take if we want this life Jesus promised. It's encouraging to me to realize that Christ Himself took the same trail. It doesn't make it all that easier, but I'm encouraged. I know that I have been made in His image, and I am growing into His likeness. And He traveled a path of emotions and challenges just like me. But He was never in a hurry. And He knew that He could trust His Father, with all things. If I can take away one example from the life of Christ, I think it would be His patience through His challenges. Jesus never did it His way, only Gods. "For the very work that the Father has given me to finish, and which I am doing, testifies that the Father has sent me." (John 5:36) If we'll only allow God to speak His heart to us, I believe that there's a peace waiting for us in the midst of the struggle and confusion. A peace that goes beyond understanding. We can wait on God with faith instead of frustration.