A Debrief: WWE Superstars Report For 07/02/09

WE Superstars 2nd July 2009: A Debrief

For those who are interested, the theme for Superstars is "Invincible" by Adelitas Way. They're currently touring with Saliva, and Theory of a Deadman (apt, no?) at the end of the year. Playing a few gigs with Shinedown as well. If you haven't seen Shinedown, I saw them at Rock im Park this year, their frontman's good for a laugh - spent half of their set telling the crowd what to do in a Darth Vader style voice which may or may not have been his own. Anyway, to the action!

RAW contribution: Santino Marella vs. The Brian Kendrick

Cole reminds us that Donald Trump, brilliant actor that he is, fired Santina last week. I actually quite enjoyed that gimmick for a little while, the Hog Pen match went too far but it had its moments. Does anyone know if Santina actually had her own page on WWE.com? Kinda gives it away if there wasn't one... Apparently Santino only Tweets his sister now

The crowd embarrasses Santino by getting COMPLETELY behind him. A few decent takedowns, including a snapmare by TBK that he also rolls through gets the match off to a good cruiserweight pace. I really miss that belt; it'd give these guys something to fight for. Kofi isn't going to be dropping his US belt to either of these guys so it doesn't seem like they're going to be doing anything for a while.

Santino gets on a roll with a few punches, and starts taunting in Italian before Kendrick knees him in the gut and throws him over the top rope but Santino holds on. Kendrick notices and hangs him up on the top rope. TBK slows it right down and the crowd's noticeably behind our Italian friend while Kendrick's taking major heat. Kendrick gets a few taunts and slaps in, failing to realise that Santino's hulking up. "Now you make me so mad!" he cries, and delivers a series of rights. A few basic moves later and TBK's in the corner, kick to the face of Santino but he grabs the rope at 2, he rolls through a second pin attempt and picks up the win and goes to celebrate with Cole and King.

Winner: Santino Marella

Rating: 4/10 - Not bad, but Santino needs a win with a finisher - I don't even think I've seen his finisher - and TBK desperately needs a win of any kind. I think I'd have been happier seeing this one go the other way, but the crowd seemed to enjoy it.

SmackDown Contribution #1: Charlie "Aggressive" Haas vs. John Morrison

You have to love Morrison, he's just so damn talented. A quick package shows his win over CM Punk, so he's been rewarded with a match against Haas on Superstars. Go figure. Grisham reminds us of the trades (why was Trump involved in Smackdown-ECW trades? Who knows). Of course neither of these guys were traded, so it seems like a fairly pointless bit of banter. Charlie Haas is aggressive by the way. Dropsault from Morrison sends him to the outside, and a nice bit of innovation for a dropkick to the outside using the ropes as leverage. Haas trips him going up the stairs and he lands hard, and Haas looks to take advantage, going for the ribs and looks to slow it down with the body scissors. The crowd's on form tonight, getting behind Morrison (less so than Santino, strangely) and he takes the initiative again - a very sweet "Pele kick" which is actually a capoeira kick (soccer and dance fighting aren't so similar, sorry JR) a calf kick and the running knee to the face. Haas misses a big boot, gets nailed by the Moonlight Drive and Starship Pain for the win.

Winner: John Morrison

Rating: 6/10 - Not fantastic, which is a shame when Morrison's involved. The styles didn't fit together very well for an entertaining match, but there were about 5 moves from Morrison that made it worth watching, as always. Haas didn't get any momentum at all, so can't really be judged.

ECW Contribution: Zack Ryder vs. Tyler Reks

I'm actually intrigued by Ryder at the moment - I mean, his Woo Woo Woo catchphrase shouldn't work, but it kinda does... His attire shouldn't work, but there's something different about it. Tyler Reks, one of the new guys on ECW, is out with his surfer gimmick. Has the looks of a decent wrestler, 252 pounds and has been around FCW for a little while it seems. Striker tells us that some people call Ryder a "tool", which is apparently an old surfer term for a poser, basically. Good athleticism from Reks and a good pace to this match sets the tone. A nice flapjack from Reks but he gets hung up on the top rope and Ryder gets to work to grind him down and a harsh knee to the face in the corner before Reks reverses a back body drop and takes a little too much time getting back up for the neckbreaker, Ryder had to stand and look confused for a second. Reks hits a nice sliding punch to the stomach and a faceplant and gets a 2, but a jawbreaker turns the tide back in Ryder's favour, he takes out Reks going up the turnbuckle and hits the Zack Attack - a reverse Playmaker that looks like it might actually hurt, with the knee going into the back of the neck - for the win

Winner: Zack Ryder

Rating: 6/10 - solid enough, decent finish and a few good moves from both guys but it was never destined to set the world alight.

The only promo of the night is for the SummerSlam Reading Jam - something to do with libraries, and how the WWE is trying to get kids to read more this summer. WWE Superstars just make reading fun. Apparently.

SmackDown Contribution #2: CM Punk vs. Edge

Punk is getting slaughtered by the crowd on his way out, they're definitely in good voice tonight. Edge (with both Tag belts) gets the same treatment, so this one should be interesting. JR mentions the eye injury Punk has, and tells us that his vision was indeed impaired when he got himself DQed. Did I miss something? Is JR now the heel-sympathising commentator? Punk hits several kicks to the legs and locks in a body scissors. Edge briefly gets some momentum before Punk baseball slides him to the outside. Quickly back into the ring and Edge hits a boot to Punk's eye (it's magnetic and Edge is wearing steel toed boots, obviously, I mean that's some real precision right there to kick someone in the eye). It's a pretty slow match, Edge hits a flapjack, a few kicks and locks in a submission while the crowd finally gets behind one of them - it's Punk, who gets some offense in with a few kicks, and gets in an enzigiuri for 2. Edge gets back into it, hits the Edgecution DDT for 2 and looks for the Spear but Punk reverses for a neckbreaker. It didn't look fantastic... Punk with a powerslam for 2. Turnbuckle knee and looks for the GTS rather than the bulldog, but it's reversed and Edge rakes the eyes. CM Punk forfeits the match because he can't see. I know, right?

Winner by forfeit: Edge

Matthews is in the ring to interview him, asking whether he'd have forfeited a title match. He says he can't see right now and would be happy to give Edge a rematch. I thought they might finally have thrown Superstars a decent match, but they didn't even get close to a finish here. They both went for a finisher on around 6-7 mins, when they should be having matches that last at least 10, and a forfeit to finish?

Rating: 3/10 - Yep, I reckon it was worse than the Ryder-Reks and Santino-TBK matches. Both of these guys can put on a way better show than this, the ending was just poor and there was never any pace in the match. How can you reverse a spear into a neckbreaker without slowing down a lot? Answer: You can't, it was unrealistic.

Show rating: 4.5/10 (or D)

I was disappointed with the Smackdown matches from this show; both had the potential to be better. Haas gimmickless and without the Haas of Pain as a finisher just doesn't seem like a credible threat to the likes of Morrison and neither will have advanced as a result of that match. CM Punk and Edge could simply have done better (a forfeit!?). Ryder and Reks on the other hand was solid, if Ryder can get a bit more torque and quicken up that finisher it'll look really good, while Reks didn't have a bad debut. Santino and Kendrick was the standard of a good dark match. I suppose that's what this show's supposed to be - dark matches and a dark main event, only in dark main events normally you come out with a real winner and at least one of them will hit their finisher. Otherwise as a fan you just feel cheated. I also thought they might cut a segment or two... but that'd be hoping for too much.