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They say there's more than one way to skin a cat. The same applies when you start tearing your hair out with all the frustration, grief, anxiety, and yes, stress.
It's a state of mental conditioning that's like taking that bitter pill down your throat. It causes you to lose your sense of self, and worse, your sanity. Just thinking about it can drive anyone over the edge and out of control.
As one (ex)stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels. Believe me, there are many variants when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you, can whittle away at the little joy and happiness that you carry once you head out that door.
You can't blame people for being like that; they have their own reasons, just like we have our own reasons for allowing stress to weigh us down too.
They say that stress is all in the mind. Ok ... so ... what's bugging you anyway?
There are several ways to manage stress, and eventually remove it from your life. So let's divide it into a seven different processes. I promise it's not going to be too taxing on the body or the mind.
1. Acknowledge that stress is good
Make stress your friend! Based on the body's natural "fight or flight" response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment.
I've yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts the most.
2. Avoid stress "sneezers"
Stressed people "sneeze" stress germs indiscriminately and before you know it, you're infected too!
Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them.
Remember, in some of my other articles I mentioned getting the negativity out of your life? Disassociate yourself from negative people and things. It won't be easy, but just this one thing alone will relieve a whole pile of stress!
3. Learn from the best
When people around you are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced?
Figure it out from a distance, or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.
4. Practice socially acceptable heavy breathing
This is something I've learned from a friend of mine who is always at the gym: You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing.
Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.
5. Give stressing thoughts the red light
It's possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all on your own. "If this happens, then that might happen and then we're all up the creek!"
Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly? Focus on the task at hand, it'll all work out!
Give stress producing thoughts the red light and stop them in their tracks. Ok, so something might go wrong; but how likely is that, and what can you do to prevent it?
Relax and think logically about the situation! If something does happen to go wrong, look at it as a learning experience so it won't happen again!
6. Know your trigger points and hot spots
Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines; my heart rate increases just writing these down! But they have to be done, so why worry about it? You'll do just fine!
Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee (I used to)?
Figure out how you can change these things so they are not a problem and not a cause for worry for you. You'll perform the task better, more professionally and with much greater ease without putting undue burden on yourself.
Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information. If you know the cause of your stress you can take action to make it less intense.
Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to decaf (I did and it helped immeasurably)?
7. Burn the candle at one end, not both ends
Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise all wreak havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it's often ignored as a stress management technique. Don't burn the candle at both ends; you'll be the one ending up getting burned!
So having stress can be a total drag, but that shouldn't hinder us in finding the inner peace of mind that we've wanted for so long. Learn how to manage your stress and you'll be so much the better for doing it!
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