Anger and Stress Management For A Crazy World

The first thing to remember when trying to get a handle on stress and anger is that there is no object animate or inanimate that gives off stress. Your boss cannot give off stress. Your children do not give off stress. The guy on the freeway that just cut you off is not emitting some stress or anger vibe. The car you are trying to replace the tire on has no idea what you are going through, and is not trying to stress you out. Stress and anger are manufactured in each and every one of us. It is the degree of this anger and how often you let that lion out of its cage, that needs to be adjusted. We all need some guidance on these issues so keep your mind open. When you get angry, it is like you look at the object or individual through a zoom lens on a camera. You focus in forgetting everything you like or know about that person or people in general. You put on your ugly face, and allow your emotions to take you somewhere quite frankly you hate to be. Then if challenged, look out! Here comes that lion again. You emotionally spiral and spin out of control. And inevitably you will feel guilty for your behavior afterwards. This creates the potential for more ill feelings and even depression. Anger is not worth it. We feel that it comes from an external situation and that we have no choice. That is simply not true. It is not the situation that causes stress but your response to it. I will now give you some examples of perceived stress inducers, so we might begin to work on some of these issues.

Your boss has been giving you assignments at work and you are multitasking and handling things fine. Like a juggler you keep these balls in the air, and you’re dealing with your responsibilities well. You are given more tasks to do and no problem you still got it.  Then he comes and adds two more assignments to your to do list toward the end of the day, and you allow this negative, or rejection mode mind to take over. No I reject that.  Now the emotional mind begins speaking to you. Can’t he see that I am busy? It is like he’s trying to get me to quit or something. Why can’t he just let me do my job? That’s not my job!  That’s so and so’s job. Now in an angered and stressed out state you begin dropping balls. Maybe you go on line and start looking for another job, or speak to a co-worker about what a mean guy your boss is. Then you don’t get your assignments completed by days end and you realize that the next morning you will have to explain why not. As you drive home you become paranoid that you may actually lose the very job you were thinking about quitting earlier, and stress floods in. What about my bills. Little Jonnie needs braces and I have to go grocery shopping. And what if that co-worker betrays me and tells the boss what I said about him. You end up because you allowed you’re self to get upset, now taking your boss and work home with you. While you cook dinner he is there. In the bathroom later, there he is. Even to sleep in your bed. He is right there. Anger is not worth it. You must first find a way to begin appreciating people as a whole a little more, and get rid of that zoom lens. Maybe the guy that cut you off in traffic is desperately searching for an exit so he can turn around and get to the hospital where his wife and children were delivered after a terrible car accident.  And maybe your boss is under 10 times the pressure you are, relative to work, because since the economy tanked he’s been forced to answer to the CEO and stockholders why the company isn’t profitable anymore. Maybe you are his go to person and if you took a second to think maybe he’s testing you for a promotion. If he gives you more than you can handle at the end of the day, communicate with him. Hey Jim I know I can handle AB and C but D and E are going to be a little tough to get to. Don’t just blindly agree to do it and then get angry. He may say, that’s ok if I could have it on my desk by noon tomorrow that would be acceptable. Or he may say I’m glad you let me know forget A B and C for now this is what’s important. He does not give off stress, it is your response to the situation that matters. Your boss may have health or family problems. Also and he may not understand how to be a good mentor or manager yet, so help him grow. The odds are then you will grow along with him, spiritually and financially. The most in tuned in, spiritually successful person in the world might be a cook at TGI Fridays. Being financially rich is not everything. Being in tuned with yourself and having a good accepting calm demeanor is important. You will add years to your life. Your new attitude will begin to show immediately.  Express to your loved one you are trying to change. It might even rub off a little. You will see others getting mad and you will think that really is not necessary and ridiculous. Be more patient and positive.

Positive is acceptance and patience. Negative is rejection and anger.

Remember your husband or wife and children, and friends for who they are in the whole package sense. You love them; remember that, especially when you find yourself becoming stressed. Remove the Zoom lens. Treat them with respect and caring. Shut that TV off and listen to what their saying and breathe, and be content.

Meditation is an excellent way to start, meditate on finding contentment and calm. Find a quiet place to sit comfortably. Breathe through your nose and say to yourself I am content, I am content, I am content. Concentrate on your breathing. If you believe in a higher power, prayer is excellent also. Ask for courage, contentment, and forgiveness for the past behavior. If you fall off the anger wagon and have a blow up please remember that you need to forgive your self. We are none of us perfect. Apologize when you have fallen.

You know what is the right thing to do is so try again. Be happy and be kind to one another, and let’s start giving one another the benefit of the doubt again. This world is way to full of doubt and blame.

Positive is acceptance and patience. Negative is rejection of the situation, which leads to anger.