Families in Crisis: Tips for Dealing With Stress

In the Integral model it is self evident that what affects one family member affects all in some way.  The stress of having a child with behavioral or substance abuse issues can lead to significant stress for the parents as they deal with the uncertainty of what might happen next with their child.  More stress ensues as they try to also care for other children in their family and meet the demands of their jobs, duties and other roles. 

The Integral model provides a systems framework for managing the stress and maintaining as balanced and healthy a lifestyle as possible during these difficult times.  Here are some examples:

•    Quadrant I (Internal) – Be aware of the triggers that set you off and use your emotional intelligence to reduce the impact of situations that impact you.  When panic or fear arise recognize their impact on your body, mind, and heart and use strategies like breathing and reframing to reduce their impact.

•    Quadrant II (Behaviors) – During difficult and stressful times like these it's not unusual for people to let go of behaviors that support their health and resiliency. You need all the resources that you have to meet the challenges you're facing so remember to continue exercising, eating well, and getting as much sleep as possible.  Meditation is also a valuable tool during stressful times.

•    Quadrant III (Support – Interpersonal) - It's not unusual during these times for parents to feel isolated as they are hesitant to share what's going on in their family with others in their communities.  The added stress may also affect relationships with their spouse and with other children in the family.  Reach out for help from extended family members, personal coaches and therapists.  Find regular times to spend with your spouse to stay connected and maintain support between you.  Create regular times for the family to be together and support one another.

•    Quadrant IV (Environment)  - It's easy, when under significant stress, to get lost in work, to spend excessive time at the computer researching the problems we're facing, and to spend more and more time indoors at work and at home.  Make time to get outside and get in touch with nature, perhaps an evening walk with your spouse.  Maintain regular schedules at home that include time with other family members and regular dinner times for the family to be together. 

The more areas and behaviors you employ the better able you'll be to ward off the affects of stress.  The difficult part is making a commitment to doing something about it. Too often when under stress we go into a negative spiral that wears us down even more. So, when stress hits look to the quadrants and take action!