Is Your Life Out of Balance?

Over the past 30 years or so, there has been an increase in the number of hours Americans work in a week. The cost of living and a more competitive work environment have made the 40-hour work week a rarity. Instead, many of us spend 50, 60 or even 70 hours per week at our jobs, and then try to fit family, relationships, errands, and sleep into whatever time is left over. Not surprisingly, there has also been an increase in the number of Americans suffering from stress-related health problems. Finding the right balance between your career and your personal life can help relieve your stress and renew your outlook on life.

Prioritize

The first step in balancing your life is to figure out what really matters to you. Think about the people in your life and all of the things that you do, and ask yourself this question: “If I could put all my energy into accomplishing just one thing, what would it be?” Think about what makes you happy, as well as what you truly value in your life. Write this down, and think about the second most important thing in your life. Make this number two, and keep going until you have 5 things on your list. Your list may look something like this:

1) Children

2) Spouse

3) Career

4) Spirituality

5) Hobbies

Now list anything else that you do that is not in your top 5, and think about what you can eliminate from your life. Cutting unnecessary activities out of your day will help you stay focused on what is really important to you. Do you belong to clubs or committees that are no longer enjoyable or fulfilling? Decide which ones you will eliminate, and resign from them. Be polite, but firm. For example you might say “I am no longer able to continue as president of the hiking club.” You can offer a reason if you like, such as “I am focusing on my personal (or family) life right now.” But don’t feel obligated to give anyone a reason for wanting more time to spend on the things you value.

Learn to Say No

Frustration and anger are signs that we are doing too much. Guilt often causes us to take on more than we can comfortably do, and when asked to add another activity to an already full schedule, we may feel guilty if we say no, but angry with ourselves if we say yes. However, if you make a decision based on your values, it will feel right. When asked to take on yet another obligation, offer an apology, but no excuse, for example you might say “I’m sorry, my calendar is full right now and I can’t take on any new projects.” Or simply, “I’d love to, but it’s impossible.” Again, you are not obligated to give anyone a reason. Make it a point never to add anything to your calendar without subtracting something else.

Think about how you can cut out some of the time you spend on errands. Can you organize a carpool to reduce the time you spend driving your children to their activities? Arranging to have your paycheck deposited directly into your bank account, and paying your bills online can also save time. If you find yourself waiting in the doctor or dentist office, use the time to catch up on your reading, or plan meals and make a grocery list. Consider all the small ways you may be able to simplify your life, the extra minutes add up!

Make Time for Family and Friends

Whether it is a planned outing or spur-of-the-moment fun, make sure that you stay in the moment. When you are playing with your children, just play! Don’t think about the phone calls you need to return or the emails you need to answer, or the chores that you could be doing. Catch up with a friend you’ve lost touch with and make a date for lunch or an activity you both enjoy. Don’t just make time for friends and loved ones, but make the most of the time you spend with them.

Make Time for You

If you take care of yourself first, you will be happier, healthier, and have more energy for the things you enjoy doing. You may have to plan time for fun and relaxation until you get into the habit of taking time for yourself. Use your free time to take a nap, read a book, take a walk, listen to music, work on a hobby, give yourself a pedicure, or just sit and daydream. Work on giving yourself permission to stop what you are doing and take a break when you feel like it.

You do not have to settle for feeling frustrated, angry and exhausted because you are overworked and overcommitted. When you are at work, you have no problem focusing on the tasks you need to accomplish. Bringing that same focus to your personal life will not only help to reduce your stress, but will allow you to spend more time with your loved ones and appreciate each precious moment.