The Power Of Responsibility

The Power Of Responsibility

            These past two weeks have provided some stupendous observations relating to who and what is responsible for the quality of my life. What is the quality of our lives? It's the sum total of our inner experiences, regardless of circumstances. It's this internal experience that we call our "inner state of being" which makes up the essential quality of our lives. Inner states of being joyful or satisfied, or in other cases, inner states of anger or upset. Whatever the experience, these states are what we either are attempting to attain or avoid, because that's the inherent nature of what it means to be human: the desire to feel better and better in each new now moment, regardless of how it is we are currently feeling.

 Details and circumstances between lives may be different, but the basic human relationship with our reactive behavior is always the same, with no exceptions. The ample observational opportunities that have occurred over the last few weeks have allowed me to look at how I relate to both life, and relationship, first as my reactive self, and then as my true self, or that which takes action in a situation as a response choice, rather than simply as a reactive choice. Either way, we're choosing, even when it seems at times that something other than our free will is choosing for us.

            In this process of the last few weeks, which was useful, as any process is, only when I practice the revelations given to me, the most relevant realization was this: that whenever I make anyone, any thing, or any outside source, whatsoever, responsible for the quality of my relationship to anything in my life, then I am being a victim. A victim is a human whose reactive actions are solely propelled by their mind; or that which says that outside influences are the sole forces that shape our choices. With responsive choosing, the other choice for living that we have, our actions are propelled by the heart, or our true selves. This is to say that our choices are guided and shaped by our inner selves, a force which always chooses based on our highest good.

I call our reactive mind "The Predator" because it tends to eat up our time and energy, our very life essence. Not something I prefer to have happen, but it does. On the other hand, someone who is true to themselves, is in charge of the bulk of their time and energy, or their very life essence. And to the degree we are willing to be responsible for  what we are feeling in any one now moment, it is the feel of that life essence, guided by the quality we choose to live it with, that is what determines the kind of internal states of being we are in on a moment to moment basis.  

A true person, or one who is in touch with their true self,  is a victor, someone who continually goes beyond the human, the training, and the tremendous influence of the society around us, and simply chooses how they feel, for themselves. This choosing can only happen moment by moment, by moment, in every moment of our lives. And it is through the choice to be greater, to feel better, and to live better than the defeatism we have been trained to live as, and are immersed within through the energy of the victim oriented society we are surrounded by, that the true self is both revealed and then lived out. Living out that true self is the greatest and highest responsibility we have as humans, because doing so makes the world a better place for everyone. Simply put, living as our true selves is the practice of the wisdom that is revealed to us.

            How does this process work? The second, the very second, I in any way whatsoever, say that you, or anyone else, did something, and that because of that, I feel a certain way without options for feeling or being any other way, then I am being a victim. No exceptions, no other reality than this. And it's not that you and others around me don't do things and I then react to them, of course I do! So let's get that out of the way. Yet regardless of my reaction, the truth is still this: that you and others do things, and that I react to them, but they, nor you, do not do them to me. Not once, not ever, not in any way, shape, or form. This is the truth, period. No one and not one thing, ever, can ever treat any one of us in any way, because the absolute truth is, we and we alone, are responsible for our feelings. And in being so responsible, we, internally, are the only ones capable of treating ourselves in any way whatsoever.

Not only that, but the absolute truth also is that we and we alone, are the only forces in the Universe who can alter our individual and separate feelings in any way whatsoever either, and we always have been this responsible for the quality of our lives. Just think about it. No one can go into us and change how we feel, it's just not possible. Yet we all say and act as if it is! And every time we practice being a victim we reinforce this lie. And to live out that lie of the victim that says that some other force can alter how we feel, is the cause of much, if not all, of human pain, suffering, and thoughts of betrayal. With the betrayal of ourselves to our true selves being the only real betrayal that can ever happen. This happens every single time we break the agreement we have with ourselves to be good to ourselves, that was and is our original and only agreement we have ever made.

            And yes, there will be things that happen that we do not prefer. Things that we will never like. But to stay stuck in our upset or reaction to them, again, is our choice, and our choice alone. No one makes us stay angry or upset. Only we have the power to do that. And, only we have the power, through choice, to pick ourselves up and plant ourselves right outside of that vicious circle of anger/upset and makewrong. Maybe they really are wrong, yet why should we suffer for that? Point is, we don't have to, not when we choose. To choose to feel better regardless of the reality of what has happened, because for certain, feeling bad about something certainly cannot change that it happened!

            A relationship with a loved one, especially someone we really care about, brings up this ingrained victimhood mechanism more than anything else, and hence, is the fundamental reason so many relationships fail, and The Predator wins. Through conversations and interactions with my partner these past weeks, I looked back into my past and saw the truth of this. In that long past, I saw how the second I made my judgments about someone's behavior responsible for the quality of the relationship I was having with them, and for how I felt about them, then it was all over. Usually this looked like my living out of a reaction of mine to them being a victim. My reaction to them saying that I did something, anything, usually that I said something that hurt them, and that because of that they were unhappy. And then because they stated they were unhappy with me, I was automatically unhappy with them. So unhappy, that I would terminate the relationship. And so the odyssey of mutual victimhood would claim another potential circumstance for living out the great power of choice through practice, the only power we may in fact have as humans being: the great power of being responsible for our own feelings, and for choosing what they are. For choosing who we want to be, for choosing who we want to be with, for choosing how we want to feel about them, and for choosing how we feel about ourselves and our lives in toto. Because our inner feelings are always a choice. A choice that has to be made twenty-four seven, three hundred and sixty-five days a year, and yes, with no time off.

            Why choose in this way? Because to not choose is to have our choices made for us by The Predator, a force that does not have the best interests of human beings at heart. Regardless of what this force really is, It does have a momentum that the practice of our actions give to It, and through that momentum, we are led to make choices that do not serve our well being. Choices of anger, upset, war, violence, and failure. Choices of fear and paranoia, and finally those choices that have us suffer and be in pain, whether mental, physical, or psychological. That's when we are filled with obsessive, fear based visualizations, or actions of thinking about possible negative outcomes, or dire thoughts of doom, again and again and again. Or that's when we take up other actual physical actions that reinforce those fears. Put up the bars, lock the door, let no one in.

None of these fears or thoughts ever feel good. More importantly, not one of these fear based fantasies customarily ever comes to pass in any way whatsoever that we have envisioned it might. Yet if any of us desire to feel better in any one now moment, if any of us desire to be satisfied and to have fulfilling lives of power and success, then it is of primary importance to pay attention to this whole reactive system of feelings and thoughts and where it leads us, and even more importantly, to only act out that which leads us away from the negative influence of this thoroughly ingrained reactive process, and in so acting, turn toward the inner light of our true selves. We do this by being responsible for our true selves, the most important responsibility we have as humans being. What supports us in knowing if we are going in this extremely powerful direction is our inner experience of love, because that is the most reliable indicator of our success at being responsible for our true selves in practice.

            In practice, which is the single most effective tool we have for leading ourselves into our own light, the feelings I now have on a more and more continual basis, are always aligned with the choice to feel stupendous! Why is this? Because I prefer to feel stupendous! No other reason, justification, or explanation than that. I feel stupendous more and more of the time now, because I prefer to feel that way, period. I prefer to be in awe of life, and to be appreciative about everything I be, do, have, and create, period. What this looks like in practice, is that I am not happy because I live in a great house, it's more that I simply prefer to live in a great house, and I am happy because I choose to be happy. Things outside of my own energy envelope do not determine my preference to be happy, and that they change and shift does not alter my preference to be happy regardless. This kind of choosing of our internal states of being may be the only power we have as humans being. This is the true power of choice. I am not happy because I am getting richer and richer all the time either, I am getting richer because I prefer to be rich, and I prefer to be happy regardless of how much money I do or do not have in any one now moment. I am not happy because of how much money I have, or because of how many publishers want my work, or because I am in relationship with a powerful and beautiful woman. I am happy because I choose to be. And I prefer the freedom of being rich, I prefer being sought after as a writer, and I prefer being with a loving and beautiful woman.

None of these aforementioned things make me happy, because I prefer choosing to be happy, regardless. And in being happy regardless, I am more often happy with the details of my life. A life as a human, by the way, full of events and circumstances that change and shift all the time, with some that I like, and some that I don't like. So be it, and so let be the fact that I am the one who must maintain my own state of happiness amidst all the multi-faceted changes that occur on an ongoing and continual basis. If I did not do that, then I would be living as a victim, complaining as if being tossed on the ocean's surface like a cork. What choosing to be happy regardless, on a moment to moment continual basis does, is to anchor us to the centeredness of our true selves enough for us to be stable when the tides go out, and stable when the tides come in. And go out and go in they will.

            I have relearned through the interactions with my partner this week, that my happiness is in my hands and my hands alone, and always has been, period, and that this is how it should be. The moment she comes through the door and I in any way attempt to make her responsible for my reactions to her, I can feel a stabbing pain in my gut, and then I feel bad. You know the scenario. She said something and I got hurt. Therefore, whatever it was she said, or whatever I made up about the way she said it, The Predator requires that I pay attention to only my reaction and upset, and henceforth, be a victim. The response alternative is one that allows me to access my true self when I simply notice my reaction through non-attached observation, and then communicate responsibly about what I did. That's when a very different scenario develops. In practice that would look like, "Honey, when you came through the door and said that, I noticed that I had a very angry reaction to your words. Wow. Let's talk about what I did so I can be supported in releasing it." Then, what happens after that responsible a communication? When two people fully communicate in a responsible way, the only experience left is unconditional love. That is an immutable Universal Law. In fact, it's guaranteed! Now that's an experience I can live with!

This sole power to alter my internal feelings is as it should be because in truth, I am the only power in The Universe who can go inside of myself and deliberately choose my state of being, bar none. This is Truth, and as a true person, I choose to live out this truth. And it is only during those times when any one of us has forgotten this Truth, that we have suffered. These days I am into joy, into awe, into happiness, and into choice. I prefer choosing in this way, because I prefer to feel good! I choose. I am the creator, and generator of my own joy, and in that joy, I send love out to every single detail of my life, to have that detail bask in joy as well, because the truth also is, that the only joy in my life that will ever come, comes from me, and always has. We are all made all of God, and as God, joy is what we are when we are being our true selves. Love is also what we are, because Source is love. Infinite Power is what we are. Ever-expanding awareness is what we are. And it is my honored responsibility to celebrate this power, and bask in my own light, and this may well be the only gift it is possible to give back to The Universe that has so nurtured me with my own aliveness. My life. Because I, and in turn, you, are the light and the way of the world, our world. And right now may just be the perfect time to let that light out, and so illuminate our lives so that the dark negativity of our reactive minds is simply outshone, and a new momentum toward inner peace is gained. Because we choose to do so, out of the great power of being responsible; responsible for the practice of our true selves.