What to Do When your Teen Starts Dating

Teenage dating. It’s something every parent has to deal with sooner or later, and something that must be handled with care. Everyone knows that their child is eventually going to take an active interest in the opposite sex, and eventually want to start dating. Some parents see this as an extremely exciting time for their children, taking pictures and oozing with excitement, whereas others see it as scary or worrisome, which is sad, because it doesn’t have to be so. What should you do? How far should you go into their dating life, and what kind of rules should you enforce? Parents all have differing opinions on this, but I think everyone can agree that we should never hide our children away from the world, and that dating is something that we all have to in some respects, embrace.

The most usual dilemma for a parent is feeling unsure as of what role they should take in the dating life of their teenager. You have two choices – you can be the “best friend,” supporting their exploration into the world of dating, or you can take a stance of being protective, enforcing your own rules to ensure their safety. Which is the right answer? Actually, both are needed. Teenagers need both of these roles due to their unique circumstances, and as a parent, it is going to be up to you to play this balancing game. Since they are still young, teens do not yet have the ability to completely utilize reasoning. They aren’t on par with the adult ability to think in terms of their future, and this is completely natural. On the other hand, their increased chances of making mistakes is partially because of their limited life experience, and the only way to solve this is for them to actually have experiences form which to draw wisdom.

The fact is that all teenagers make mistakes. As a parent, you must allow your child to have enough room to learn on their own. You see, teenagers are at a time where they are learning about the world around them at an incredible rate. Some lessons, however, can only be learned by doing things wrong, and making mistakes is a very valuable way for teenagers to learn and grow up into more mature, well-adapted adults. If you are over-protective of your child during these years, they will have a hard time coping once they leave your protection. They will have to make mistakes to learn, but won’t have your protection to make it easier. So you need to allow them to really live life while they are still under your guardianship, ensuring that the mistakes they do make, you will be able to control and steer back toward the right path.

Does this mean that they should be given no rules and the ability to run free? No! Definitely not! We have already stated that teens do not have the mental ability for logical thought and reasoning that an adult has. – Of course, this means that when left to their own devices, and allowed to do that which they please, you can almost guarantee they’re going to screw up. The secret is finding the key balance between staying out of your child’s dating life enough not to be pushy or overbearing, but being active enough to ensure that you’re a positive role model to your child. Meet whomever they date, and make sure to go out of your way to ask about them and seem genuinely interested in what they’re up to. – Showing a real interest in those that your teenager cares most about is a great way to show your teen that you're not there to disapprove of them and that you honestly, genuinely care about their life.

Teenage dating does not have to be something big or scary, and is actually an exciting new adventure for you and your child! Ask your child questions about their date, fun questions, like what they find most attractive about them, or what their favorite hobbies are. – Questions that will instill a sense of bonding and trust in your teen that you aren’t there to be the parental police unit. Of course, make sure not to take this too far, and let your child know that you’re still the parent and still in control. – By striking this perfect balance, you are ensuring that your child will have the safe and enjoyable dating experience growing up that we all should be able to look back fondly upon.