Please Communicate in English

The Inglish Langwij is 1 L of a language for travelers so I say 2 L with travellers but please communicate in some version of English, just give me a clue as to which version.

Recently I sent an email to a Dude Ranch operator in one of the northern states using the word 'traveller' which is the way I was taught to spell it many decades ago. I received a terse reply and admonishment to my email saying that if I could not spell traveller as traveler I obviously could not be trusted with her business listing at TopTravelSites. I replied that the '2 L' spelling was used more than the '1 L' as this was the original 'English' but this has since made me think about the predicament of those of us who think that we speak the same language called English!

I was created in England and considered myself a reasonably adept 'speller' although not in the 'wonderspeller' category, but still pretty good for a limey, pommie, brit or whatever we are being called lately.

Having travelled or traveled extensively over the past decades to Australia (I am still trying to learn 'strine'), New Zealand (Maori phonetics), USA (a separate dictionary for 'English' but still not called 'American'), Canada (both Webster's and the Oxford add to the confusion) and now being rebuked over the internet by a cowboy (I think it was a cowgirl or cowperson), I can only try and put pen to paper and hope to be understood by anybody that is interested in the Inglish Langwij and help a few travelers and travellers on their journeys.

'Our' language is a mongrel of the first water and maybe this attempt at humour or humor will generate some debate or discussion so that we can all have a bit of a giggle but we should also appreciate the power and strength of mongrels such as low vet bills and good survival rates!

One of my favourite or favorite books is Churchill's 'History of the English Speaking Peoples' but let's just think back to the language of Shakespeare and then go on to Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged), James Michener (Alaska), Neville Shute (In The Wet), Edward Rutherfurd (Sarum and London) and J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter), taking into account the outright theft of words by the Welsh, Irish, Scottish, English which has progressed to the Oxford English Dictionary (a WISE move eh what?), but which is once again being stolen by the Yanks, Canucks, Aussies, Kiwis, French (they stole Le Weekend) and the bloody Internet ( r u ok 2 4 lol ) replacing even the Cockney rhyming slang of 'a' for 'orses, 'b' for cattle, 'c' for islanders and so on and so forth or 'come forth and conquer' or 'come fourth and lose your beer money.' Are you still with us?

Wot is Inglish? Bungalow is from India (bung a low roof on), budgerigar is Australian Aboriginee (I think), theatre is French, 'your welcome' is American, g'day is Australian and so who cares how traveller is spelt, apart from an unhappy dude rancher.

Wotufink? How about finding a word now called 'English' that has come from another country?

Evolution is great for language, speling, grammer and sin-tacs are important but they have all changed over the centuries and are hopefully still changing to make us all better communicators, which reduces the risk of misunderstandings such as the Aussie who was arrested for saying 'Fair Dinkum' on an internal USA flight, sheer stupidity on the part of the flight crew or merely a lack of 'worldliness.' I hope the latter or as an Aussie would say "bloody right mate!" or "my oath."

Have you heard the one about the Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, Welshman, American, Canadian, Aussie, Kiwi who wrote to the United Nations? No? Just as well then.

That's it from me y'all, so I'll just change out of my whistle 'n flute (suit), put a bug rake (comb) through my barnet fair (hair) and give me mate a bell on the dog 'n bone (phone) to see if he wants a swift one (a pint) down at the rub-a-dub (pub) and then go for an Indian (curry) or chish 'n fips at the takeaway (take-out) before heading back to the flat (apartment) to get the trouble 'n strife (wife) to make me a cup of rosy lee (tea) before heading up the apples 'n pears (stairs) to the land o' nod for a kip.

If you are curious about whether I spell traveller with 1 or 2 L's and you 'ave 'arf a mo' to spare you can have a gander at toptravelsites, so skol, salut, bottoms up (oops! not PC), sante from The Nomad as I go to run my grammar and spell-check software on this diatribe and check my cheques or checks to enrol in an ESL program.

And remember, English is considered (by the English that is) to be the universal language of travel. It's all terribly confusing, eh what?